#c) you can love someone and be a dick from time to time its okay

[thewarnerbrothers]

im gonna be 'that guy' for a second

the comments in warnergames that got everybody so upset are not a big deal and actually pretty in character? what is the big fuss

[oukabarsburgblr]

Hi! Love your work! I dont know if your requests are open but Id love to see more of your Haikyuu work! Loved the the recent one and i just cant stop rereading it.

I wonder what would happen if reader was hit on by one of the other volleyball players before/after the matches. I just wanna see the three boys get jealous and protective honestly hahahd ofc if you dont want to write this its okay too! ( Ps. I also love ur Daisuke one, i love him hes so cute 🥰🥺 cant wait to see more of ur work )

drabble...aftermath of Karasuno

taglist : @ayuxiru @tehyunnie @rainnyydaysworld @webwanderer

i stopped working on my haikyuu fics bc i started s4 and i could NOT see atsumus face HAHHAHH idky i HATE HIM ARGH/jk. We love Daisuke in this household. Can anyone tell Daichi is my favourite? HAHA

this will be the last one for the crows CAW CAW

harassed, dark in general

Find out more under the cut!

[SCENARIOS LOADING...]

Another team harasses the manager!

[START SCENE]

"Hey! Karasuno's manager! Don't make such an ugly face."

A certain (h/c) frowned, being cornered by tall volleyball players from other schools. He had just went to retrieve the paper rosters from the organizers for their current tournaments at the Sendai Gymnasium where Preliminaries are being held when he was stopped by students from other schools.

"You look like you don't have a lot on your hands right now. Why don't you come with us? Free some tension...you probably need it." A hand grasped (m/n)'s shoulders to which the (h/c) swatted it away. "Don't touch me." He hissed as he tried to move past them but another shoved him back against the walls, them moving closer to the manager.

"Hey hey. We're all friends here, right?" Hissing in pain as the hand lodged in his shoulder pressed his nails further, crinkling his black jumpsuit. "Listen here, fucker. I don't know what household you grew up in, but go ride someone else's dick. Better yet, why don't you go suck each other off? Since you're so desperate for some action."

(m/n) spat, his foul mouth and his temper wasn't a good combination but it was the right mixture for this situation. He pushed the players' arm and was ready to leave until his hair was clenched painfully.

A yelp from (m/n) and the ringleader of the group pulled his face close. "Nice face but a repulsive tongue...damn and I thought we could do this nicely. We'll find a use for your mouth soon." "Let go, asshole-"

Fuck, who do they think they are? The only one grabbing my hair is usually-

"I suggest you let him go."

A heavy voice uttered from behind them, catching the attention of the group. Asahi clasped the hand that seized (m/n)'s head. "Before I break your wrist." He muttered with a death glare, the light in his eyes gone.

"Fuck! Is he the coach or something?!" One of them whispered, scanning his mature features. Someone grasped (m/n)'s hand, pulling him away from the group. "Learn how to take a hint when someone says they don't like you." Sugawara pushed the manager behind him.

"Or go die in some random dump, you trash."

He stated blandly, his voice losing any cheery tone he would always carry. How ironic. (m/n) could never be more glad that the third years were here, clenching the papers in his hand. He felt someone gently pull his bicep.

"Go." Daichi muttered. "The team's around the corner. Go see Kiyoko for..." He brushed (m/n)'s head, where his hair was tousled.

The only one who would usually, or rather the only one, grabbing (m/n)'s head, tugging his hair, digging their nails into his scalp was Daichi Sawamura.

The (h/c) didn't think twice to leave the scene, not leaving a glance to the yelling players who had harassed him, Daichi particularly approaching the one who had pulled (m/n)'s hair.

-

He didn't want to be here anymore, (m/n) lazily draped himself across the railings. Only one manager was allowed on the benches so he and Yachi had to sit up in the audience' seats but he asked for some alone time from Yachi, her concerned about him after hearing that he was disturbed by a team from another school earlier.

Hinata had jumped up and about when (m/n) returned to their team, demanding to know who had hurt his friend and Kiyoko checked his scalp, making sure nothing was broken and everything was fine. Tanaka was adamant on being a good senior and wanting to avenge his manager so he went to help the third years who were confronting the aggressors but immediately retreated, staying quiet when Ennoshita asked what they were up to.

The games started and the first match went well, battling up against a two meter player. Daichi didn't speak to him yet. (m/n) noticed a bruise forming on Asahi's jaw and Sugawara only smiled at him quietly.

Second game came around and (m/n) held back a flight of curses from his mouth when the team Karasuno had to play against were the same players who had cornered him earlier, their captain glaring holes into Daichi. He noticed a few of them were missing, specifically the bitchy ringleader.

"Hey, (m/n). Thought you'd be down there this time."

Oikawa approached his cousin, leaning onto the railings in a similar fashion to the (h/c). "I guess all third years in your team is staying huh." He poked (m/n). "Yeah." He mumbled. "Looks like yours too."

(e/c) glanced at the Seijoh team that were currently watching over Karasuno's briefing by their coach. He noticed a new player. Someone that has a tennis ball for a head.

"Well, we're gonna beat Shiratorizawa this year. I'm gonna show Ushiwaka who's boss." "You say that at every game." The setter slapped (m/n)'s back, the latter yelping and smacking his laughing cousin. "So gloomy and for what? Your team seems to be energetic-...well they're playing more aggressive than usual."

Asahi slammed the ball set by Kageyama, earning a point as the libero was unable to receive the spinning ball. The ace looked furious, his eyebrows furrowing as he asked Kageyama for a faster set. Sugawara was itching to get on the court, pacing around, warming his legs up so he could be ready when he had a chance to play. Daichi was silent, his usual words of affirmation to the team gone. Only Tanaka and Nishinoya cheering when they won a point.

"We're going to win. Against them at least." Daichi muttered, his eyes gazing up at (m/n) when Coach Ukai took a timeout and asked what was wrong and why their play styles had differ today.

(m/n) stared back but quickly looked away when he felt butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't tell what those insects were trying to tell him. Daichi had warmed his bed a lot for the past month, even his parents assumed he was his boyfriend by how often he had came over to his house.

Karasuno won a fast game. Two sets straight, 25 - 17 and 25 - 13. The last set where all the third years were deployed went by quick, Asahi shining as the MVP.

"Well, that's my cue. I wonder when we'd play against you, it'd be any different." "....It will." Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Thought you'd support me this time. Given how your team lost on our last match." "But they'll win."

(m/n) peered at Oikawa, from the corner of his eyes. "My team will win beating yours, Tooru." The setter only stared down at the manager with a smirk.

"What's with the change of heart?" "..."

He didn't reply, only getting up to greet the team as he stood in the hallways, letting Hinata crash into him. Sugawara pulled the middle blocker off of him. "Now now. Stop causing trouble or Takeda-sensei won't let us watch the other teams play." They were done for the day and as requested by Kageyama, they went to see Seijoh's match.

Sugawara held (m/n) behind however, letting the team go first as they stood in an isolated staircase. He ran his fingers through (h/c) hair, his eyes squinting at the manager as he smiled reassuringly. "I hope you're alright, (m/n). We beat them for you. Those idiots. People who have nothing else to do but lay their waste on innocents like you."

The (h/c) hummed uneasily, leaning his head on the setter's shoulders and his fingers clutching onto the latter's jersey. "I didn't mean to talk to them. They cornered me." "I know, I know." Sugawara cooed, his other hand caressing (m/n)'s back.

A similar but earlier incident had happened, whereas a student confessed to the (h/c), who declined but Hinata excitedly told the team and Sugawara had an outburst in private, accusing (m/n) of cheating behind their backs despite them having no declaration, only taming (m/n) into their current relationship.

"Did I ever scare you? You look at me like I'm going to snap your neck at any second." The setter teased, his hand trailing over (s/c) neck, his fingertips pressing onto (m/n)'s Adam's apple. "No. You wouldn't." That was a bluff.

He had learned that Sugawara had the most violent tantrums out of the three. Paranoid, spiralling about what (m/n) does when he wasn't around. The (h/c) had learned what to say, what to do overtime, to ease the third year.

Said third year smiled at him. "If anyone ever approaches you, like earlier, scream our names okay." He always made sure to include Daichi and Asahi. "Remember, you're our favourite."

He winked at the (h/c) who didn't give much of a reaction, only hugging the setter. Was there any difference between those assholes and the third years in Karasuno? Both of those groups forced him, into these uneasy situations, Karasuno taking a longer approach.

Crows tend to build their nests with meticulous resolve, choosing the right twigs and taking the softest materials for the lining. Karasuno did live up to their name, (m/n) completely accepting his predicament, laying in the den Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi had woven for him.

Sugawara pulled (m/n)'s face up, smiling at him before pressing his lips to the (h/c) who opened his mouth when the setter swiped his tongue on his lips. "Let me hear you, (m/n)." The setter muttered as he pressed his wet muscle against (m/n)'s caressing his palate and pressing their bodies closer.

"Mmnff ahh! N-Not here Suga- ahk!" (m/n) choked when he felt a hand cupping his crotch, his breath shaky and coming out in stutters as he pushed Sugawara's chest. His cheeks were hot and he clenched his fist on Suga's jersey.

"Hahaha is it because we're in public? You'd be much more in trouble with Asahi then." The setter pulled away, letting (m/n) breathe as he dragged him up the stairs and they stepped into the auditorium seating. "Go. You owe me a date for this." He kissed the (h/c)'s forehead before pushing him to the row where Asahi and Daichi were.

The setter walked past them, opting to sit beside the second years, distracting them when they asked where was the manager. Said manager stood nervously, Asahi and Daichi silent, both of them sat in the furthest behind row, whereas everyone was sitting close to the railings to watch the games.

Usually (m/n) had no problem conversing with them, the third years constantly talking first but here they are staying silent. "...Good game." He referred to the two sets they stole from those assholes.

The captain didn't even look at him, only staring into space with a frown on his face. Asahi spared him a glance before beckoning the (h/c) to sit next to him. But as he was about to sit, the brunette pulled his arm, making him land in Asahi's lap instead.

"Huh? What are you-" He was silenced by Daichi's glance, his heart racing as Asahi adjusted him, placing him directly on top his crotch. "Sorry, (m/n)." The ace buried his face into the (h/c)'s shoulders. "Let me borrow you for a bit."

Here? In public? Where anyone could see him being used like a fucking-

His hands shook as he tried to peel himself off Asahi, but the latter only tightened his hold, crushing his waist with his muscular arms. "I'm sorry." The brunette mumbled apologies and (m/n) could feel his erection pressing up against his pants. He prayed the others wouldn't turn around. Daichi didn't move a finger, (m/n) couldn't read his face as he hopelessly squirmed in Asahi's lap.

He's going to see. He's going to look at me and see me like this.

His heart was beating fast, the ace still breathing heavily behind him and grinding his bottom on him. Daichi still didn't give any reaction. (m/n) felt his heartstrings pulled as the captain didn't give a damn of what was happening to him. Unintentionally, he glorified- favoured? Treasured the ravenette the most, the one who always seemed so distant from him yet was so close and quick to clog his throat-

Tears welled up in his (e/c) eyes as he turned his face away when he saw Tsukishima glanced at him from the corner of his sight. He genuinely prayed that no one else would see him in this shameful state.

Asahi stopped bucking his hips when a high pitched heave escaped from the (h/c)'s throat, (m/n) holding in a sob as he carved his nails into the ace's arm. "Shh...it's fine. No one saw anything. They just think you're sitting on me." He whispered into the manager's ear who shook his head. Tsukishima saw him and he was one of the smart ones. The rest of Karasuno hadn't seen but what about the other teams? Strangers who might pass by their rows. He hated how his three seniors didn't give a damn about his pride.

Asahi didn't make himself obvious, he just wanted to loose some steam is all. In the end, he did use (m/n) like those harassers did albeit tamer than expected but the intentions were there nonetheless. (m/n) whimpered endlessly as he was placed to sit on the cushioned seat in the same one as the ace, still with Asahi seated close behind him. (s/c) hands trembled as he peered at the captain who cruelly ignored him the entire time.

A tear slipped down his cheek as Asahi cooed at him, apologising and kissing his ears while rubbing his waist. Ensuring the (h/c) that he didn't even got off or anything as he whispered sweet nothings with his apparent boner pressing against (m/n)'s back. The manager was much more prone to crying when they were in public.

His hands hugged Azumane's as he leaned back into the ace's body, his attempt to hide his figure as he pulled on the ace's black jacket. "Hic- you're so fucking- mean to me." (m/n) whined as Asahi peppered kisses all over his face, his stubble scratching against his skin.

"I won't do it again." The ace muttered, placing his chin on the manager's head. (m/n) peered up and noticed the forming bruise. His fingers went to delicately trace them. "I knocked his teeth out." Asahi mumbled.

"Would've done more if their manager hadn't come running." (m/n) flinched when he heard Daichi utter. The first he spoke around the (h/c) after the whole harassment he suffered.

Coarse rough fingers covered his eyesight, a fingertip pressing against his right eye lightly, brushing his lashes and the ace placed his face down where (m/n) had his hair violently tugged. "Tell me if you want him to lose more."

(m/n) didn't say anything, only nodding as he let the ace touch his body, caressing his chest and inhaling his scent. He didn't feel bad for the attackers at all. They dug their own grave for being assholes.

He caught Daichi staring at him, the captain still facing straight but his eyes gazed into the (h/c)'s face as he slowly returned his focus back onto Seijoh's match.

(m/n) managed to pull himself off of the ace when the games were over and Karasuno was preparing to leave. He made sure he avoided Tsukishima, not wanting to answer any of his probing questions. He had went ahead to wash the water bottles at a pipe when he heard footsteps behind him.

He looked behind him to see Daichi with the bottle carrier, the captain picking up the clean ones and placing it in its stations while (m/n) finished up the last one. A rare act of kindness from the captain to the (h/c). "Are there any others left?" (m/n) shook his head to Daichi's question.

The captain staring at him with dead eyes and (m/n) noticed the small blot of red on the edge of his knuckles. He didn't say anything, carefully pulling Daichi's hand and placing it under the tap, letting the water flow and washing the ravenette's hand.

Said ravenette stared down at him with his usual silence. At times like this, (m/n) could never tell what the captain was thinking. Was he observing on what he would do? No. Daichi was too confident in his...work. Of what he made of (m/n) (l/n).

Maybe he expected it. (s/c) fingers rubbed the knuckles, ridding the smell of blood and dirt as Daichi stood directly behind the manager. "Did they hurt you?" The manager shook his head again. "I'm fine. They didn't do much."

He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head, the captain glaring holes at the part where they pulled (m/n)'s hair. "It's good for you to know."

Know what? The manager wanted to ask but opted to stay quiet instead. He could feel Daichi leaning into his (h/c) hair, them letting the faucet run under their intertwined hands.

"No one else can hurt you." (m/n) carefully turned his head around and found black eyes staring down at him. "Not Suga and not even Asahi..." The captain muttered, his other hand gripping the manager's jaw, the latter letting out a small gasp.

"Only me. And it will stay that way as long as I'm here." He muttered, leaning so close to (m/n)'s face, the other baring a blank expression, knowing and not daring to show any sign of fear.

"Be aware and be good....I'll take care of you."

The (h/c) nodded, the grip on his jaw loosened and suddenly he was enclosed with a kiss. Daichi pressed against the manager and bit his lower lip, prompting moans as (m/n) shakily wrapped his arms around the captain's neck, his knees weak.

Both of them leaned against the sink and there was a faint sound of an ambulance siren that could barely be heard over the shaky gasps and lustful moans the manager spilled from his throat. It was wrong to love your abuser. (m/n) wouldn't call it love.

He would never care for someone like Daichi.

But he couldn't leave. There was no option for someone like him, he could only embrace and lay in the nest the third years made for him. A good first year to embrace their devilish intent.

[END SCENE]

I planned like a smut scene where daichi fucks him but im tired of writing smut tbh. Like i need inspo. But if u didnt notice daichis hand was bloodied bc he did sumth to the harassers which is why theres an ambulance in the last part.

Someone requested a sick scenario where reader gets sick and third years feel bad for him but tbh they wouldnt feel bad. Its just more of an excuse to fuck him over and ill give a very SIMPLE drabble for that bc ive delayed this way for too long

[SCENARIOS LOADING...]

(m/n) falls sick and the third years takes good care of him!

[START SCENE]

"Mmhhaa mmngg ahnn!"

(m/n) cried as he clutched onto Asahi's gakuran, his back against the wall and his legs wrapped around the ace's waist. The brunette's cock deep in him as they hid in an isolated bathroom stall, the third year pulling him in before classes were starting.

It was the norm for him. And he thought his body could adjust but he wouldn't notice he was slowly falling apart with how frequent the third years was using him for a quick fuck.

"T-Too fast! Ahn! Mmmn ahn ah ah!" His legs were shaking as Sugawara held his hips as he pounded his ass, the setter biting onto the manager's bare shoulder. The setter had whisked (m/n) away during their lunch break, him pulling the first year into the empty clubroom and bent him over the table to fuck his ass. He laughed when he found out Asahi had gotten to him first.

Daichi rarely took him during school hours or even school grounds for that matter. It was always the other two filling his ass up or suffocating his throat.

(m/n) choked as his head was pushed deeper into Asahi's crotch, his body naked as he sucked and licked at the dick while Sugawara was behind him shotgunning his bottom while grinding onto his naked butt. Saliva and precum was dripping onto the gym closet floor.

Sugawara always hold the keys and he'd use it as an excuse to stay behind, forcing (m/n) to help just for him to push him onto his knees and forced his cock into his mouth.

The manager knew his body wasn't feeling well that day. Seven rounds of sex in 8 hours was a record for him and a threesome in the mix? He went home sick and woke up with a sore throat and a burning fever.

(m/n) didn't go to school and he was glad he got to recover in his own bed but his mother suddenly barged in saying that his friends and his boyfriend were there to see him. The third years had neutral expressions when they entered his room, Sugawara easily conversing with his mother as she left the room, leaving her son alone with the monsters.

"I can't believe you actually got sick. I thought you were faking it so you could avoid me today." Sugawara grinned, sitting on the edge of (m/n)'s bed and placing his hand on the manager's forehead, pulling away and pulling out a fever plaster to paste it on the manager.

"I told you he was sick. He could barely stand when we were walking home and you thought he was faking it? You're scary, Sugawara." Asahi muttered to which the setter snapped back at him and they both argued over who had pushed (m/n) too far on yesterday's events.

Daichi ignored the two as he walked over to the bed, (m/n) could barely open his eyes, his skin hot and his head aching. He felt a hand pulling down his blanket and someone pushing his shirt up. A cold wet palm laid flat on his belly. The (h/c) squirmed but embraced the cool, his chest heaved up and down with slow breaths.

"Get better. Soon." The captain ordered. His dark eyes staring blankly at the manager. Sugawara turned to (m/n) and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You heard the captain." "Make sure to stay away from Suga."

The setter continued to yell at the ace, moving off of the bed and Daichi took the opportunity to take his place, his eyes now locking with (e/c) as he brushed his hand against (m/n)'s cheek fondly. "...I'll take care of you. I said I would." The ravenette muttered, the hand he had washed earlier trailing from his stomach to his chest, his hand under (m/n)'s shirt.

Daichi would only take him in his bed, in his room at nights after practice. Now, he was sick and laying in said bed with the captain looming over him, his eyes scanning his weak features.

(m/n) couldn't do a thing, letting the third year care for his sick body. They would come over after practice bringing homecooked meals they would make at Daichi's house. Sugawara often cleaned his body, using a wet towel to cool his warm limbs or helping him into his shower where he would- this made the manager's mom became more fond of the third years, letting them into her son's room at any time she was especially too busy to check in on her precious child.

The manager knew they were some sick fucks but he didn't expect them to go that far truly. Sometimes they would grope him, offering a quickie while mocking him by bouncing the (h/c) on their lap but Daichi was quick to stop them, especially Sugawara who was a bit too happy that (m/n) was weak in his hands, too frail to push away.

Asahi didn't do much, only going through the (h/c)'s belongings, digging through photo albums and taking some of his more personal article of clothings. Stupid pervert. He didn't even bother hiding it too. Daichi would force them to leave when it was almost midnight, him staying over and sleeping on a spare futon.

He was so attentive to the (h/c)'s needs, making sure he took his medicine and eating the required nutrition he needed. He kept his promise and (m/n) was able to recover in three days, returning to school after being deemed well enough by the captain.

Oddly enough, Sugawara and Asahi didn't pounce on him the second they met. Only ruffling his hair or hugging him and saying they were glad to see him well before leaving him alone. (m/n) thought that they finally got their senses knocked into them.

Until night arrived and (m/n)'s mother made a fatal decision to allow Daichi to check her son for another time.

"D-Daichi! I c-can't- urmff! Mmngghaa- ackk!" One of his legs were being held up as he laid on his side, his mouth full with fingers and his hole throbbing around the thick dick shoved inside him. The ravenette slowly rolled his hips, feeling (m/n) tighten around him as the manager shot cum from his penis onto the bedsheets.

He loved when the (h/c) would come on his cock, fluttering walls around his base was pleasure as he quickly thrusted into the overstimulated first year, (m/n) drooling and choking on Daichi's coarse fingers.

"Three days. You have three days to compensate." Rounds of sex to reimburse the captain. Not for the care he provided. It was just more of a reason for Daichi to fill his hole and he had warned the other two not to approach him, wanting to have his ass all to himself for the next few days.

(m/n) let the captain use his hole, his body to fulfill his lust. He wasn't sick any longer and Daichi had promised to take care of him. He could only hope the ravenette doesn't have any plans to stay around him for the long-term. Excluding the fact that they were neighbours.

[END SCENE]

I just love daichi so much rahhh. Going to see the movie next week. Remember this is the last one for karasuno so dont request for this team any longer lovies💋 If karasuno was intense just imagine the power play with shiratorizawa MUAHAHAHHAHA

[melodic-haze]

What if breeding and overstimulating Ei? Fucking her through her orgasm and continuing to fuck your dick into her abused hole, fucking your cum deeper into her pussy to make sure she takes all of it....

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Ei x dom!amab!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader with a dick, dumbification

☆ — NOTES: Blame Miko 🤷‍♀️ but also I've been wanting to write Ei and/or Miko for so long THANK YOU ANON

Put me and her in a room and I'm not gonna be the one coming out pregnant just saying 🫶

Realistically this is probably (definitely) Miko's fault for getting into her head, but she had lent her a book that she didn't realise was.....less than innocent

It was a novel that described some rather salacious scenes that had Ei go from confused to surprised to flustered.. and then to that feeling of neediness welling inside her. It's got her thinking of you and what you can do to her, which then eventually led to her personally seeking you out for a bit of a 'reading session' 🥰

Mini thought dump so if you don't wanna read then skip this point. Ok as someone who loves getting into logistics and how things would work hypothetically, I find this situation funny bc like. If Ei can model her body to whatever she wants it to be bc it's synthetic, which means taking out whatever she deems unnecessary, then would she have a reproductive system? Would she deem it important?? Would you even have anything to insert yourself into or is she just. Cursedly smooth

Anyway thought dump over, sorry for the crisis even though you were expecting 🌽. MOVING ON

It's hard to believe that the woman you're dicking down is Inazuma's very own revered Archon when the one you've got underneath you at this moment looks so unbelievably fucked out and far off: eyes clouded and rolling to the back of her head, fingers digging into the sheets, mouth glistening with a mix of your saliva and the drool on the corner of her mouth, hair out of its normal braid and surrounding her like some kind of purple aura

And that's not even accounting the occasional spark of electro here and there to which she had initially apologised for. Though that was before she became all dumb and lost all sense of thought and responsibility, her mind practically turned to mush as you keep on pistoning her relentlessly. Now she's just REALLY unaware of anything and everything else but you and how good you make her feel. Everything else is just SO overwhelming for her little brain 😞😞😞😞

"I-- I'm c-cumming again, I-- feel the--"

"'s okay, baby," you groaned out, putting her legs above your shoulders as you moved within her, "you can cum."

It will never cease to amaze you, how your words had such an effect on the strongest figure in all of Inazuma, especially when your words get her to react so very intensely—her insides squeeze you like a vice as her hips lift off the bed in an attempt to get you as close to the base as possible.. or at least, she tries to.

Despite all that strength she has, all it takes you is a press down onto her abdomen as a way to both keep her hips down and to add more pressure on her and suddenly she's all pliant. The poor girl can't even scream—she was never really the type to—so when she opens her mouth, she doesn't make a sound as you push your hips into her in a particular way before stilling your movements as you came inside for.. who knows how many times it's been?

The amount of cum that spills out from her pussy despite your cock practically plugging it shut is enough of a giveaway that you've been at it for a while though.

..But you find that you don't really care when you start up all over again, not giving her enough time to come down from her high and overwhelming her completely.

You act out whatever she saw on that book of hers: the poses, the positions, the angles, whatever she thought was interesting to her. She used her lack of present knowledge to her advantage too—she had asked you for a proper demonstration, seeing as how she had been trapped in the PoE for the longest time so she fears she's not all that familiar with these.. new words or phrases!!

Half of it was true but other half of it was her just trying to lure you. And it worked so 🤷‍♀️ fair game

You make sure to stuff her silly with all of you, scooping up what drips out and stuffing it back in to make sure that nothing goes wasted. That proves to be a hard task as you proceed though because throughout your many rounds and the actual breaks in between, there IS a limit to how much she can have inside her so it's inevitable that it'd spill

Not like the sight isn't great, it's actually the opposite—just seeing YOUR own cum practically overflow in her pussy like that? FUCK just the thought of her insides being painted white because of you??? It's the way that if you pressed down on her abdomen without your cock clogging her entrance, it'd gush out in streams.......ohhhhgoodness

Your lover stares down absentmindedly at her pussy, hole agape and very much abused and so so so filled up and stained and whatever it is she could think of to describe it. Such warmth was inside her, the feeling of being full never quite leaving her—not as if it ever could for a good while, when you've filled her with so much cum that it's spilling without anything to prevent its escape from within her.

She had designed this body with the thought of only keeping necessary systems on the design for optimal use in upkeeping eternity and avoiding erosion. Why she had designed it with erogenous areas in mind? The reason eludes her, but now not only does Ei thank herself from going through with it, she is lamenting the lack of a complete reproductive system.

While becoming pregnant would.. pose for mixed results during her planned time to make amends to the nation for running away and keeping a narrow mind on what eternity could mean, she had wondered how the session would have felt with such capabilities. Would it have felt better? The same? Worse?

..Perhaps she will take a note to reassess the Shogun's model later.

Zooweemama by GOD I need her, end of story good night all

[ilwonuu]

Okay subby Jongho got me feel some type of way. You know how he gets so shy and giggles when someone compliments him?? Like imagine him and his partner for the first time and he just gets so shy and giggly with every kiss and praise 🥺 I just love the duality of his strength and confidence to baby boy who’s brain just can’t function with praise. Okay RIP to my heart because 🫠🫠🫠

anon… jongho is rotting my brain extra so as soon as i saw this request my brain went crazy. thank you for your request lmk what you think!!! <3

rosy cheeks

↬ choi jongho

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ ♡₊˚

✦ pairing- sub!jongho x softdom!reader<3

✦ summary- you love your boyfriend’s rosy cheeks.

✦ warnings- soft sex, praise kink, sweetheart jongho<3, cutie jongho</3, needy jongho, pet names, l word (yuck!), fluffy at the end, lmk what else

✦ a/n- literally going crazy after finishing this..jongho pls save me😪

jongho, your boyfriend had the rosiest cheeks. especially when he’s under you. your soft bodies gently touching as you send soft praises into his ears.

“jongho, you feel so good. my pretty boy.” your words taunting him. both of you know it. he loves it. his face heating up immediately.

“s-stop it’s embarrassing…” he looks away from you as he lets out a soft giggle.

“not embarrassing its cute jongho-“ you reach for his cheek as you start to grind your hips down.

“my cute, cute, cute, boy. aren’t you? does it feel good?” he can’t help but let out a whine when you move your hips faster.

his dick his hitting a deeper angle inside you now. you send soft kisses against his neck. loving the quiet sounds you get out of him.

“such pretty sounds baby. don’t hold back.” you whisper into his ear. he knows he is blushing so hard now. his face heating up due to the pleasure. his body heaving as you pull him into a kiss. your boyfriend gives you another moan. he sounds desperate and needy for you.

“i’m gonna c-cum y/n..” his voice comes out like a cry. “you’re so pretty jongho..” you kiss against his neck. moving your hips gently up and down. his bare skin feels so soft. he smells sweet. intoxicating.

“stop -ah only for you.” he feels embarrassed immediately after hearing his own words.

“such a pretty thing.” you murmur out.

“i love you so much.” his dick twitches inside you. a moan is dragged out of your boyfriend. he is coming inside you immediately. you coming at the feeling of his warm cum.

“i lo-love you.” is all you hear from him before he is covering his face with a pillow.

“why are you hidingg don’t hide-“ you look over at your boyfriends position. his body falling back against the bed. his head now covered. you can see his slightly red cheeks poking under the pillow. cute, you thought to yourself.

“i’m- that was embarrassing.” you shake your head planting a kiss against his head.

“i think its cute.” jongho moves the pillow off his face to look at you.

“t-thank you.” you nod and smile giving him a quick peck.

“your rosy cheeks- i just want to want to eat you.” he laughs.

“stoppp-“ he turns his face away from you again. his giggles filling the room as his face is suddenly pink again.

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[chosoguapo]

HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS husband!choso x blkfem (s/h) ⤷ content warning: husband!choso headcanons (christmas themed), fluff, multiple creampies implied, matting press, dirty talk, squirting, pet name usage — bunny & baby, implied that y’all have kids.

signed mumu . . . this is apart of @hiraizens A WHITE CHRISTMAS collab. just to let you all know the reader is going to be described as black and having black features. yes, i am perfectly fine with someone who isn’t black reading this. all i ask is that you are respectful and don’t make me feel uncomfortable in my own space or black spaces <3 (also “s/h” refers to she/her pronouns). wattpad link — ao3 link.

HUSBAND!CHOSO that doesn’t like you having to work. its not that he doesn’t think you are capable of keeping a job. he just takes comfort in knowing where is precious bunny is at all times. coming home to the kids tucked in and you in the kitchen in that beautiful nightgown around your figure. just imagining you doing any kind of simply tasks can make him get a hard on at the office.

HUSBAND!CHOSO, who enjoys dressing up for christmas. he doesn’t particularly care for holidays in his own regard, but if it makes someone he loves happy. then he’ll go all out. of course you two would be mr. and mrs. clause while the kids were your elves.

HUSBAND!CHOSO, who likes to fuck you slowly while your dressed up in your sexy christmas themed lingerie. he doesn’t want you to have any visible markings while out in public — even though you’ve told him multiple times that it’s okay. he just doesn’t think it’s right to mess up a beautiful body such as yours.

HUSBAND!CHOSO, who comes home late after staying for a annoying three hour board meeting on chirstmas eve. coming through the door with stoic facial expression while wiping down his face from the amount of stress he was feeling. his mood immediately changes once he sees you and the kids snuggled up on the couch.

HUSBAND!CHOSO who loves teasing you. with the hassle of preparation that you’ve been doing for christmas. he hasn’t been able to tease you without the kids interrupting your private time. finally with them being away and he could be able to touch in all the places he wanted to put in the open.

“you feel so good bunny” choso cooed in your ear. it been a while since he felt how good your walls are around his dick. he had been fucking you for hours, not giving you a single break. “please choso, i c-cant” you begged, feeling your legs aching from the matting press position you were in.

“please what, baby? you know you have to you use your words.” he teased. choso knew exactly what you were implying, he’s just so intoxicated by how by how sensitive your body is from the multiple orgasm you’ve had tonight. “it’s too mu-“ you were cut off by another deep thrust from choso in the middle of your sentence.

he slightly grins from your reaction. “just one more for me baby, i know you can do it” he whispers. one of his hand grouped your boob, toying with your stiff nipple. his other hand rubbing on your juicy clit. choso was making you feel like you were on a ecstasy trip that you didn’t wanna come down from. a shaky nod at him gave choso all the affirmation he needed to keep going. “that’s my pretty girl.”

HUSBAND!CHOSO, who’s favorite thing to add into the mix of your pleasure is that toy you keep hidden in the bottom left drawer. your bare naked body lays on choso’s chest as he reaches for your pink dildo that he held as a special surprise. choso cuts it onto the highest setting, “you can handle this can’t you bunny?” he lustfully says.

you were too tired to even give a actual response to his question. opening your legs wider as a “yes” for him to enter the dildo into your pussy. your fists tangled around the sheets, with tears further ruining your already runny eyeliner. just from the vibrations from the you could feel your orgasm coming in a matter of seconds.

your body tensing while laying on choso, turned him on so much. he couldn’t help but also get his hands on that pretty clit of yours. “mmm baby” you moaned out. your fingernails gripping into choso arms while did thrusts to the movement of his fingers. he knew your were about to just fork how anxious he could tell you were.

cupping your face with his other hand, he leaned his face closer to yours. closing the gap by locking your lips together. your loud moans being muffled into each kiss, while choso rubbed your clit faster. you began feel dizzy as the overwhelming sensation you were feeling became to much. pulling away from the kiss, choso tells you “you’re doing so good baby” to encourage you to cum. without you even realizing jets of of squirt released on the bed and choso’s fingers. bringing his finger up his mouth, choso sucks all the juices from his fingers. “i love you” he says as he reaches for the towel on the bed side dresser to clean up the messy, messy sex you two had.

🏷️: @sheluvshiro @xeniray @bimbx @getogasm @sintiva @takemichiluvr @prettygirlsloveprettypeople777 @venusflytrapstar @tsumuz @chrollohearttags @180-fuck-me @blessedfatui @gyarubunny @blakbleh @imnotevenhereagain @swinginprunegothcop @eddiebunnie @av-sos @dic3dt0mat03s @respectfullyangry @lavishmalfoy69 @spookyy-gracee @sat-rn @strawberriemuffins @mimi321us @narutofuck @igetchildsupport2 @si00p @harlequins-gambit @eclpsess @cretaceouss @hangeswife69 @magicalfiresoulland

[mads-nixon]

Epiphany Pt. 16: Castles Crumbling

Lewis Nixon x Reader

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Song Inspo: Castles Crumbling (feat. Hayley Williams): Taylor Swift

A/N: Sorry in advance for breaking hearts with this one, guys. Be prepared for some angst...sorry Jess! (@footprintsinthesxnd) Remember, this is all according to the master plan. this is about the fictional portrayal of easy company on the show. nothing but love and respect for veterans on this blog!

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Unexpected events threaten to send members of Easy past their breaking point.

JANUARY 11, 1945: BOIS JACQUES, BELGIUM: 2200HRS

The cold seemed to seep into Lewis’ ODs as he sat in his freezing foxhole. The only semblance of warmth that clung to him came from (y/n)‘s shaking figure in his arms. Earlier that day, Nix finally reached (y/n), and her pure anguish broke his heart more than he thought possible. Each cry was like a stake being driven further and further into his chest.

The couple spent most of the day relaxing in (y/n)‘s hole in silence, just taking in each other’s company. She sometimes spoke of Skip and Alex if a certain memory came into her mind, and tears often accompanied such stories. Nix held her close and listened intently, hating the helpless feeling that filled him. There was nothing he could do to ease her pain other than be there with her, and it was hard for him to bear.

If there was one thing Lewis Nixon was not, it was someone who sat back and did nothing. Was he a borderline alcoholic? Maybe. But would he ever sit back and watch those he loved struggle alone? Never.

The January day had ticked by slowly, and by late afternoon, Lew convinced (y/n) to move to his foxhole for a little bit of space from the line, hoping it would help distance herself from the shelling that had stolen two of her best friends. With her head slouched against Lew’s shoulder, she slept soundly, her mouth open as soft snores left her lips in small icy clouds.

Ice crunched nearby, and Nix looked up to see Dick crouching beside their foxhole. “Hey,” he whispered, looking down at the (y/h/c) with a concerned frown. “How’s she doing?”

Lew quietly sighed and pulled the blanket up to her chin. “Better. Not great…but better. She agreed to go back to the hospital tomorrow.”

Dick nodded softly, “Good. I talked to Doc today while you were gone. He said it might take up to a month for her arm to fully heal.”

Eyes flicking up to the redhead’s, Nixon’s heart dropped into his stomach. Of course, he was more than happy that (y/n) was finally getting the help she needed, but a lot could happen in a month.

“I know.”

“She’ll be okay, Nix,” Winters urged, his voice slightly shaking as a harsh gust of wind swept through his thin coat. “And she’ll be back in no time.”

Lew shook his head and leaned it back against the frozen dirt wall of his hole. “I don’t know if she’ll make it in a hospital by herself after losing Skip and Alex. She won’t know anyone or-”

“Lew,” Dick interrupted softly. “She can’t stay here and we both know that. The best thing for her is to go tomorrow.”

“I know that. It doesn’t stop me from worrying, though.”

Before Dick could respond, a voice called out from behind him. “Captain Winters.”

Lieutenant Dike.

Nix and Dick shared a loaded glance, and both Captains had to refrain from rolling their eyes. Dike hadn’t reported to them in almost four days, and in those four days, the Company had lost two of its most important members. As the lieutenant approached the trio, his eyes drifted down to the woman in Lewis’s arms. He seemed to be momentarily confused as he stared with narrowed eyes.

Catching his glare, Dick stood and ushered him toward the tent with a hand on his shoulder. “What can I help you with, Lieutenant?”

Nix’s eyes followed them as they disappeared into the makeshift shelter, and anger swirled in his stomach. A good leader should respect their men, lead by example, and try to keep up with how each one is doing. Dike did none of this. In fact, he did the opposite. Men in his company had been killed, and their deaths greatly affected company morale, but he couldn’t care less. The lieutenant was away more than he was around, and when he was, he didn’t do much. It was a well-known fact that the NCOs were the ones holding the company together.

In the silence, (y/n) stirred, a low groan escaping her lips.

“Hey,” he murmured, his fingers gently tracing soothing circles on her back. “You okay?”

She winced, her eyes fluttering open with a hint of discomfort. “My head’s pounding and my throat feels like sandpaper,” she rasped. “It’s probably from all the crying.”

Lew reached for his canteen, unscrewing the cap. “Take a sip and then try to go back to sleep. It might help.”

He held the canteen up to (y/n)‘s lips, guiding it gently as she took a few sips. Leaning back against his shoulder with a sigh, she nuzzled into his warmth. “What time is it?”

“10:30. Dike just showed up to talk to Dick,” Nix replied, checking his watch.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes with a scoff. “Now he shows up. After all that’s happened? What a joke.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lew sighed. “I’m glad you won’t have to deal with him during the assault.”

Her swollen eyes peered up at him. “I’m worried for the guys,” she said softly. “He’s gonna lead them to their deaths, Lew, and I know don’t think I could take it after…”

“Dick will take care of them the best he can,” he replied, rubbing her upper arm gently. “They’ll be alright.”

“I hope so,” she yawned, laying her head back on Nix’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go back to sleep now.”

He chuckled lowly and leaned down to place a kiss on her hairline. “Goodnight. Wake me up if you feel any worse, alright?”

(Y/n)‘s eyes were already drifting closed as she mumbled, “Yes, captain. Love you.”

“I love you, too. Now go to sleep.”

JANUARY 12, 1945: BOIS JACQUES, BELGIUM: 0300HRS

When Lew woke up, the air surrounding the foxhole was silent, and the covering atop the hole kept any unwanted snow from falling on the couple as they slept. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand and looked around blearily. Everything seemed to be alright, but he was surprisingly warm.

He had not been warm in almost a month.

As soon as the thought circled in his brain, he realized with a start that the intense heat was coming from beside him. Looking down at (y/n) curled into his chest, Lew cursed, noticing the way she seemed to be radiating so much heat that he was sweaty just from being pressed against her. (Y/n), however, was drenched in sweat. Her (y/h/c) hair was plastered to her forehead and neck, and uncontrollable shivers wracked her body, causing her to tremble even in the unusual warmth of the hole.

“(Y/n)?” Lew mumbled, wiping the sweaty hair off her forehead. Her skin was hot to the touch, and it was then that he knew something was very wrong.

“Sweetheart? Wake up,” he said more urgently, shaking her shoulder gently. Panic gripped him when her only response was a weak groan and rapid eye movement under her closed lids.

Lew’s heart clenched in his chest as he tapped her cheeks lightly. “(Y/n/n), come on, wake up,” he begged, his mind racing. “Please wake up.”

No response.

The night air was pierced by Lew’s urgent call, “Dick!” His voice carried the weight of his panic as he threw the cover off their foxhole. Within seconds, Winters ran into view and dropped down into their hole with a thud.

“What’s wrong, Lew?” Dick asked, concern etched across his face.

“I don’t know, Dick! She’s burning up and completely out of it. Something’s wrong,” Lew exclaimed hoarsely as he sat (y/n) up against the side of the foxhole.

Dick swiftly assessed the situation, and a sudden realization flashed across his face as he reached for her arm. He removed (y/n)‘s sock glove, revealing a swollen and red hand adorned with a speckled rash that extended from her cast down to her fingertips.

Lew’s reaction was immediate, a string of curses escaping his lips as he almost pushed Dick out of the hole. “Go get Roe, Dick, now! And hurry!”

As he hurried away, Lew continued to try and wake her up. He cupped her face softly, his thumb running over her cheekbone. “We’re gonna get you help, alright. You’re gonna be fine.”

(Y/n)‘s eyes fluttered open for a moment and Lew could see the cloud of fever in her usually lively (y/e/c) irises. “Hey, (y/n/n). Can you hear me?”

“Lew?” she muttered shakily as her teeth chattered together from the chills racking through her body. Her mind was in a state of delirium as she called out for him, and even in her feverish state, she longed for his comforting presence.

“Yeah, it’s me, sweetheart,” he whispered, his throat closing up with emotion. “Dick’s getting Doc. They’ll be here soon.”

The sweat beading from her forehead was a stark contrast to the frigid temperatures around them, and Lew noticed her trembling getting even worse. Without a second thought, he began to take off his coat and wrap it around (y/n), along with his beanie and anything else he could find to keep her warm.

The cold bit at Lew’s skin as he stripped off his winter clothing, but he didn’t seem to feel it. His only concern was the woman before him in dire need of help. His mind involuntarily flashed back to the last time they were in this position…

“You’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” Nix’s voice quivered, but he fought to keep it steady. “You’re gonna be fine, sweetheart.”

Roe skidded next to her and shoved Lew aside as he began to assess and treat (y/n). Her trembling hand shot out, desperately grabbing onto Nix’s.

“Lew,” she croaked through her tears, her voice filled with fear. “I’m scared.”

He cupped her cheek gently, his touch tender. “I know,” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers. “I’m here.”

The similarities were eerie, and Lew found himself doing something he didn’t do. He began to pray.

“Please, God…” he whispered into her neck as he tugged (y/n) close to his body. “My mother says that you listen, and I’m depending on that right now. Get her through this. I love her…please. ”

It was a raw, emotional plea that came from the depths of his heart. If there was one thing he cared about in this stupid war, it was her. If she was taken from him, he didn’t know how long he would last.

She would be his breaking point.

He didn’t get to finish the thought because Dick returned with Roe. Eugene’s eyes widened as he took in the scene: Nixon, clad in only his thin ODs, shivering alongside (y/n), who was covered in his clothes. Gene exchanged a glance with the Captain, his expression a blend of worry and disapproval.

“I woke up to her shaking and burning up. She complained of her throat and head hurting earlier, but I didn’t think anything of it,” Lewis interjected quickly, his words rushing out in a mix of frustration and worry.

Without hesitation, Roe hopped down into the foxhole, swiftly gathering all the extra clothes that were attempting to warm (y/n), and tossed them back on Nix.

“Put these back on. The last thing we need is you getting hypothermia,” Gene urged, his breath coming out in rapid puffs, winded from the sprint to the couple.

As Lew quickly complied and layered himself once again, Gene set to work. He first started his examination by gently lifting (y/n)‘s eyelids. The pale moonlight revealed the redness of her cheeks, the pallor of her skin contrasting sharply with the usual warmth that marked her complexion.

Lew anxiously watched every move Gene made, his eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before him. Gene pressed his fingers to (y/n)‘s uncasted wrist, checking her pulse, and then moved on to feeling her forehead once more.

Gene muttered to himself as he worked, “Fever is high, and her pupils are reactive but sluggish. She’s probably dehydrated, too.”

Dick and Lew shared a helpless glance, and the redhead placed a steadying hand on Nix’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him.

Roe looked visibly frustrated as he carefully examined (y/n)‘s hand. “Damn it, I knew this would happen!”

“What, Doc?” Lew questioned anxiously.

“She’s got an infection, and it looks like a pretty nasty one, too. We need to get her back to the hospital and get some penicillin in her system. I don’t have any here,” Gene explained, his diagnosis sending a pang of guilt through Nix.

He shouldn’t have let it get that bad. He should have made her go back sooner.

“I wish I could take this thing off, but I don’t think my scissas' will do it,” Doc grimaced, gently prodding the skin around the end of the cast. “The infection’s probably from moisture stuck under the cast. With this fever…”

The Cajun looked up at Winters with wary eyes that said everything the Captain needed to know. “We need a jeep…now,” Gene called out, and Dick jumped up and ran for the nearby radio. “Without antibiotics, she could go into septic shock, and there’s no recovering from that.”

Lew’s hand instinctively reached for her good one, wrapping his gloved hands around hers. He rubbed his thumb soothingly over the back of her hand. He didn’t know whether it was for himself or for (y/n), but what he did know was that his insides were twisting with guilt, the pang growing into a constant ache. The fears he had quelled the previous day came raging back, and all he could see was the worst-case scenario in his mind. The vivid images almost stole his breath.

They were the same ones he’d had since she was first shot: Nix standing above a blanketed figure lying on a cot in a dark and bloody aid station, feeling like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He closed his eyes and brought her frail hand up to his lips, the same way she’d done the day before as he reminded himself that she was alive…for now.

“This is Captain Winters. I need a jeep to 2nd Battalion CP for casevac, now!” Dick yelled into the receiver. A few moments passed, and then he was beside them again. “They’re on their way.”

During the whole interaction, Lew was frozen. The voices around him faded into background noise, and his gaze was stuck on (y/n). The situation weighed heavily on him, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should have acted sooner. A hand on his shoulder brought the voices back into focus.

“Help me get her out of here,” Doc said quickly, breaking Nixon from his trance.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded, his eyes not leaving (y/n). “Yeah.”

His hands trembled slightly as he reached down to carefully lift her from the foxhole. Gently cradling her in his arms, he could still feel the heat radiating from her fevered body like he did when he first awoke. He quickly carried her past the shelter to the area where the jeep would arrive.

“Fight, sweetheart,” he whispered down to her. “Fight for me, alright? I love you.”

The trio heard the jeep before they saw it. There was the hum of an engine, followed by headlights in the distance that cut through the darkness. Nix rushed to the jeep as Roe ran past him and hopped into the back of the jeep beside the awaiting stretcher. Lew’s jaw tightened as he carefully placed her on the stretcher.

The engine hummed to life as the jeep prepared to depart, and Nix reluctantly stepped back, his eyes never straying from (y/n)‘s prone figure. Gene’s eyes briefly met his, and the Doc nodded, sharing a silent agreement that she would be taken care of.

Nix stood there, numb and motionless, staring at the fading lights of the departing jeep. The crunch of the ice beneath its tires was the only sound filling the night air. The bitter cold gnawed at his exposed skin, but it was the icy grip of guilt that truly chilled him to the core. Dick approached cautiously, trying to offer comfort, but Lew’s anger erupted before he could utter a word.

“I should have made her go. If I did she wouldn’t ha-” his voice cracked with regret, the weight of guilt pressing down on him.

“Nix,” Dick attempted to intervene, but Nix cut him off.

“No, it’s my job to keep her safe, Dick,” he yelled, pointing at himself. “And I can’t even do that.”

“You can’t control everything-”

“But I could control this,” he interrupted. “I could have ordered her to go back and we’d have avoided all this. She’d probably be back in a few weeks, but now I-,” Lew cut himself off as he placed his hands on his hips, trying to keep his composure. His eyes lowered to his boots, and the fury disappeared in his voice. “I don’t even know if she’s coming back. If she doesn’t, Dick-”

Winters placed a comforting hand on Nix’s shoulder as he interrupted him. “She will.”

Eyes rising to meet Dick’s, Lew found more worry than he’d ever seen reflected in the stark blues. Although he was a master at disguising his true emotions, especially in front of the men, Lewis could see right through it.

Would Dick put on a show for the men?

Sure.

But he never put one on for Nix.

For once, the redhead’s words were not as strong and resolute as normal. Doubt flickered in his pale irises, and the sight made Nix question everything. The two things he could always count on were (y/n) being by his side, and Dick being the reliable word of advice and honesty. At that moment, both the pillars of Lewis Nixon’s steadfast support system began crumbling around him.

Contrary to Dick, Lew was accustomed to shielding his every thought from others…a side effect of his affluent but rocky upbringing. It was mainly a result of his father’s constant anger and need to lash out at his family, which Lew often took the brunt of for his mother and sister as he got older.

“Yes, sir,” became a hollow phrase in the Nixon household, and the young Nixon children became masters of masking their expressions with whatever was needed to get through the situation. It was a skill that Lew used daily as an intelligence officer, but this time, he hated the fact that he had to use it on his best friend.

“Yeah,” Lew nodded slowly, his emotional exterior hardening slightly. “She’s tough. She’ll be alright. Thanks, Dick.”

Slapping him on the shoulder lightly, Nix took a deep breath and made his way to his hole, regret filling him for more than one reason. He plopped down into the hole roughly, throwing the cover over it a moment later. Once out of view, he dropped his face into his hands, trying to calm his racing heart. Every time he closed his eyes, his fears made themselves known, and he longed for the one thing that could numb the growing storm inside of him. Eyeing (y/n)‘s discarded helmet in the corner of the hole, he grabbed it and held the cold metal in his lap. He stared at it for a moment as he contemplated his decision.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered under his breath, placing the helmet back in its place in the corner. Nix removed the cover and went toward the radio. He brought the receiver up to his mouth and ear, ignoring a few confused looks from Dick.

“This is Captain Nixon,” he began. “I need a jeep to Regiment at the 2nd Battalion HQ.”

That night, Lewis Nixon found himself in the lonely officer’s mess, his only company the empty whiskey bottles scattered on the old, beat-up table in front of him. The familiar burn momentarily took away the pain, and the numbness welcomed him back like an old friend finally coming home from a long absence.

Tag List: @softguarnere @flowers-and-fichte @inglourious-imagines @peggyvan @rebeccapearson @hxad-ovxr-hxart @merriell-allesandro-shelton @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @titiglt @stvrkdream @multifandomfanfic @starlordsatellite @blvestxr @iceman-kazansky @bucky32557038ww2 @sofietargaryen @liptonsbabe @footprintsinthesxnd @xxluckystrike @krispybearbouquet @valhallavalkyrie9

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello!♡

First of all~ I love how you write!💕 You're absolutely talented.✨️ I'm also so in love with your yandere!Loki~ Could you maybe see yourself writing a sequel to this or any other yandere headcanons about Loki in general?

Have a lovely day!♡

OKAY, SO I DEF WANT TO WRITE A SEQUEL I JUST HAVEN'T HAD AN IDEA BUT I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE ABOUT MY YANDERE LOKI! Just to let you know; I'm not gonna go in too heavy with the punishment stuff just bc I'm not good at writing that yet, lol.

Yandere! Loki Headcanons:

- At first, he's basically like regular Loki except for the fact he isn't afraid to let you know that he's highkey obsessed with you.

- In general, he is a bipolar Yandere.

- He loves you so tenderly and gets filled with these new sickly sweet thoughts of romance that didn't interest him before but now that YOU are in the picture, it makes his heart leap.

- Sometimes he hates you and gives you the cold shoulder, avoiding you and getting frustrated at the mere mention of your name because HOW DARE YOU MAKE HIM FEEL SO WEAK AND VULNERABLE!? THAT'S NOT FAIR. AND YOU HAVE THE A U D A C I T Y TO NOT BE AS OBSESSED WITH HIM AS HE IS WITH YOU? outrageous!

- Other times he's a mix of the two, where he just gives you the cold shoulder and expects you to approach him and when you leave him alone then he gets more annoyed because THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO DO.

- Then there are times where he's completely stoic faced and just...watches you. Even when you can't see him, you can feel his eyes burning into him. When you aren't around, he's still quiet and looks distant yet focused on something, nothing can catch his attention for too long and even Thor and Odin are off put by his behavior because, well, he's never like this.

- He'll only react to your name or voice, but if he sees you aren't there or you're talking to someone who isn't him then he gets bitter and goes into his more sour moods. If you are there or you are talking to him directly, then he'll be over the moon and float over to you right away!

- Touchy guy, honestly. It doesn't matter whether you're a God or Human, he doesn't see you as either, he only sees you as his. Something that belongs to him. So he won't, like, full on grope you but he will pull you into hugs, put his arms around your waist and his head on your shoulder, or playing with your hair no matter what length it is and other things like that.

- Sometimes he might touch you more intimately, such as putting a hand on your thigh, cupping your face in his hands, and overall just testing to see how far you'll allow him to go before you get upset and move away from him. Again, he mostly just thinks its funny to make you a little uncomfortable at times.

- You honestly don't know if its lust, love, or hatred that he feels for you and it genuinely gives you a headache just thinking about it.

- Easily possessive and jealous as a Yandere as well. For example, if you were ranting to him about Poseidon being a dick then he'll frown and grab your face and make you look at him and say: "You're talking about him too much, I don't like it." before letting you go, so you just awkwardly change the subject to something else that might keep his interest or maybe make him the topic and he's back to being his jovial and playful self.

- With that being said, if you have someone else you're romantically interested in, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AS BEST AS YOU CAN. SHOVE THOSE FEELINGS DEEP INSIDE YOU AND LET THEM DIE. Because once Loki finds out, he's outraged.

- If they're human, he will kill them, Ragnarok be damned. If they're a God and they're more stronger than him, he knows he won't be able to kill them but he'll pester them and use his shape-shifting abilities to change into you and make sure they never want to be near you again. He doesn't feel bad when you cry, after all, YOU'RE the one who should apologize for hurting HIM.

- Loki himself also doesn't realize how deep his feelings for you go, he can't process them and it confuses him and frustrates him and excites him all the same.

- He originally thought you were just a passing obsession, that someday he'd get bored of you just like everything else and then leave you alone. But that day never came and it looks like it won't ever happen each day he wakes up and thinks of you as his very first thought.

- Your love, your hatred, your sadness, your happiness. He's a greedy God who wants all of it, all of you. Truly, if you have him obsessed with you, then you just have the worst luck in the universe.

[coughloop]

you are quietly organizing a weekend away with some close friends at a rented lake side cabin. For environmental reasons you all choose to arrive in separate cars, and as Fred pulls up you remark, "looks like everyone's here now! Time for the real fun to begin"! Peter, standing behind you on the deck, lets out a grunt and looks confused. Paul, who was inside but has very well trained ears pops out of the kitchen door. "All? what about Chugs? isn't Chugs coming?" Paul asks, while Peter and Fred look at you like perplexed pups.

He speaks again, "Chugs always comes to the weekend getaways with the guys! Didn't you invite Chugs?" You knew this was coming, you had planned your piece but you still weren't ready for what suddenly felt like way to bright a spotlight. "Ch-Chugs isn't c--coming" you manage to stammer out "i didn't.... want him to, okay?"

"Why?" Peter asks, genuinely confused. Fred rolls his eyes and Paul turns his head. "WHy?" your voice begins to rise "WHY?" you start to feel the anger boiling in you again "Because LAST time we had CHUGS with US" you are screaming now "HE DRANK THE ENTIRE FUCKING LAKE, THE WHOLE THING, IN ONE GO, ON THE FIRST AFTERNOON." your heart is racing "I DIDNT GET TO GO SWIMMING EVEN ONCE. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING TIME, THATS WHY" you can feel the blood flowing to your face, feel how red you've gotten thinking about it all again.

You're three friends just stare at you, time seeming to stand still. No wind rustles the leaves in the trees, no birds sit on the branches singing for their mates. in this moment the four of you are perfectly alone, perfectly in tableau, waiting for someone, anyone to speak. Finally, an exhalation, Fred had been holding his breath since he stepped out of the car because he couldn't remember if air was still breathable in the country side or if it was more like the moon. He gasps for air, laboriously at first, but it quickly steadies out as he realizes the air is lovely and the breeze is divine.

He looks at you and speaks "I don't think that's really your call. Badlands Chugs is a friend of all of ours, its not like, up to you to decide whether he gets to spend time with us, besides you knew he had to film that weekend and you wouldn't give him any of your 2 liters so what else was he going to even do? that was a dick move man, for real".

Fred, now walking towards the cabin pushes past you on the stairs you were standing on the whole time and goes up to Peter and Paul. For the rest of the weekend you are ignored by your once close good friends. Sure they would acknowledge when you spoke to them directly, or asked for life saving first aid advice, but overall, the spark of friendship, the comradery wasn't there. The love you had between you and your friends was gone.

After the weekend you started texting them all less and less. You weren't sure if it was just because their responses were getting shorter and shorter if you felt like you just had less and less to say. You still saw Badlands Chugs around sometimes, He never did find out about the weekend you went up to the cabin without him, so he still treated you pretty well. But you knew what you did, you knew the wool you pulled over his eyes wouldn't stay there for ever. So you drifted away from him too, the last friend you had. The last person you felt like really wanted anything to do with you. All because you didn't want Badlands Chugs to drink another lake again.

You are the asshole.

[sketchyfrogzz]

random headcanons for Destiny cause I said so (featuring Koko who belongs to @myvirtuallove!!

was just bored so her you go

Destiny isn't as traumatised as Pico and the gang,since she was in a whole other school when the school shooting happened.But she has experienced some attacks going towards her school due to other students biting off more than they can chew and getting in trouble.It wasn't daily or anything,but each time it would heavily affect Destiny

Destiny also deeply values her friendships,so if someone was to mess with her friends she WOULD NOT let that slide.She would defend them as best as she can but if it gets physical she'll loose it,but sometimes goes to far.

Koko: ...Destiny?

Destiny: What.

Koko: Did you...did you just SHOOT that person.

Destiny: Not my fault they were being a dick.

Koko: Well you right,but that doesn't mean you KILL THEM!

Destiny: Oh calm the fuck down,I'll just throw them in a hospital or somethin'

Koko: And after that?

Destiny: We get some Mcdonald's.

Destiny has some scars from kickboxing training,she lied to her mother telling her that whenever she would come home with bruises.What her mother didnt know was that majority of them are from when she would go out with Pico and the gang,usually getting stabbed,punched and all of that stuff.Desting told her mother when she was older,and her mother was MAD but overall happy that her baby didn't die or anything.

Speaking of Destiny's mother,her mother is kinda strict but at the same time loving.Her mother expects the best from her daughter but doesn't pressure her or anything,instead actually listening into Destiny's interests and helping her be the best at THAT instead.Her mother wanted to at first make Destiny become a nurse but Destiny wanted to do gymnastics and kickboxing.But Destiny didn't tell her mother cause she didn't want to disappoint her mother.

Destiny: Uh,ma?

Mother: Yes?

Destiny: I don't wanna do no nurse training...

Mother: ...Really? I thought ya liked it,baby.

Destiny: Just didn't want to disappointed you.

Mother: ...Oh,baby,ya never disappoint me,yeah? I know my daughter is the best,remember that. *gives Destiny a forehead kiss :)*

Destiny: ...thanks ma.

Mother: Now whatcha wanna do instead?

Destiny: Kickboxing.

Mother: That's it?

Destiny: And...gymnastics.I thought you wouldn't want me to do it-

Mother: Nonese! I did gymnastics when I was growing up! Did ya know your grandfather taught me how to do boxing?

Destiny: Oh..wow.

Mother: Now,when ya come back from school call ya father so he can find some gymnastics and kickboxing clubs nearby 😊

Destiny: Okay...

Destiny grew up in a religious house hold so she grew up with A LOT of initial homophobia,but it was never by her parents.More of people outside her house like kids at school and stuff.Also her mother told her that being gay was a sin but you should never disrespect them for it.Destiny grew out of religion when she got older.

Now for some headcanons about her relationship with Koko!!! (Koko belongs to @myvirtuallove)

Destiny randomly buys stuff for Koko,whether that's some sweets or fucking dresses this woman's love language (both platonic and romantic) so Koko better expect a lot of gifts.Same with Pico and the others,Destiny buys them stuff to cause she accidentally saves up cause she has nothing to buy so her money just rots in her bank account.

Now,if we were to ignore the little fanfiction I was writing about Destiny being in love with Pico,Destiny's in love with someone else.Jay,my other fnf oc who is GF's cousin,which means he is a DEMON (remember that)

Jay btw (old ass art I'll update his design later 🫡)

I feel Koko would be a but protective of Destiny cause,its a demon.What if one day he just takes Destiny's life?! (The only thing Jay did take away from Destiny was her virginity but shhhh Koko doesn't need to know that...)

Destiny would probably be dragged into Koko's shopping sphrees or something since Destiny's clothing style is DRY,no sauce or anything but comfy and casual clothing

Koko: C'mon Destiny u need a glow up!

Destiny: idgaf

Koko: To bad,no let's go!

Destiny really appreciates Koko's friendship with her but would never admit it. (she doesn't wanna admit that kind of stuff cause she doesn't like being vulnerable.)

and that's it hope u guys like my silly gal!!!

[raspbeyes]

ace good character question mark (not really morally but yes)

(another one of my longer ones, this one more self-indulgent than actually analytical sorryyy i might just be spouting off stuff already said)

okay out of the gate i love ace as a character and i had to just spit out words into the void of why such an asshole of a character just rose to the top of my list of fav drdt characters

now drdt definetely has a lot of assholes in its cast: arturo, arei, j, charles, and recently teruko herself as of chapter 2. now while i do love the latter three, i cant help but say i dont really love arturo and arei as much and find their asshole tendancies more aggrivating

SO WHY ACE? what did he do? out of anyone, he's the one who's become actually more of an asshole compared to ch 2. at least teruko has ch 1 and a reason for being a jerk, j has her redeemable moments and isnt inherently bad, just coarse, charles was redeemed as was arei, and arturo hasn't done anything that made him inherently worse from ch 1 (i can hear u say "what about the whole j thing?" and my point still stands ... he's still just as insufferable lol). meanwhile, ace has turned from a comedic relief who swears profusely to an actual bully, who while still is probably just bite, actually threatens nico's life several times during ch 2.

i think its the sparse moments of "calm" between his hectic swearing that makes him so much more compelling to me. when a character, especially a character as far gone and stubborn as ace shows these slight moments of awareness of themselves, i think it reveals so much to their character beneath surface level without overtly doing a full reveal, making them sm more interesting to me. what makes ace compelling is where the expectations of his supposedly hot headed demeanor dont add up

rambling time ~

ace has a strange relationship with his talent. for someone who is a red headed, athletic, and foul mouthed character is already signing the alarm bells of a leon kuwata character. those three major traits signal to some sort of pride ace would have for his talent. and while in some ways he is like leon in that he doesn't train much, its actually ace's fear of failure that keeps him pushing past his fear of horses. ace has a habit of supplementing one fear for another, like how he overcame his fear of levi with his fear of the killing game. but at the end of the day, ace lives not by any level of cockiness like his brash character design may suggest, but rather by constant fear.

though ace is aware of his cowardice, as seen in his dialogue in ch1, ep2

Ace: Damn ... I know I'm scared of everything, alright? You don't gotta point that out to me. I wanna overcome my fears, but it's really fuckin' hard!

Right away, when called out, ace admits to knowing of his flaw and even more, he wants to improve! it's wild that a character who seems so bull-headed would even comprehend the thought of self-improvment, especially coming from ace. ace doesn't just have the desire to be safe, but he also has the desire to grow past that mindset (though clearly not enough to actually change). moreover, his line of saying how teruko doesn't have to "point that out" will show up again later

i dont have much to say on the trial outside of the obvious ace being a dick and going along with popular concensus. tho his outburst on levi is interesting. especially where he calls levi a coward

Ace: That's right. Shut your damn mouth, you coward -

I wonder how ace now is the one calling levi a coward when ace previously was terrified of levi. he seems especially peeved off by levi's peacemaker attitude the most. honestly, this is some good ol' fashion projection. Ace is well aware he's a coward, but he calls out levi for somehow the same thing.

personally, i think ace is pissed off that someone as intimidating as levi manages to maintain his anger and fears when ace cannot. We know Levi has a darker past that we aren't aware of and with the slight collpase in his character after ace's sharp remarks, it's clear levi isn't as much of a pushover as he lets on. ace noticed this from the start due to his own paranoia - which is why ace feared levi intially sm - and seeing levi somehow being the better person infuriates him. he wishes to be better, but when he fails, seeing levi further rubs salt into that wound.

a clear but inevitable change occurs within ace from chapter 1 to 2, with the creator (i believe i cant find the screenshot sorryyy) mentioning that ace hasn't been dying his hair red like he usually does to hide away his grey hairs, probably due to the stress. out of anyone's reactions following min's exection, ace's is the most vocal

Ace: Get me the fuck out of here! I don't want to be here anymore! Someone, anyone out there, please help me!!

Because everything, from the body discovery, to the trial, to the execution, were all something ace feared would happen and kept wanting to deny by having outbursts and trying to gain some short-term joy in picking fights. but now, every one last of his fears have been proven true, justifying all of his negative emotions. next we see him in chapter 2 is believing the food eden and levi prepared is poisoned and jumping to the conclusion teruko died when she arrived early.

during the motive reveal, ace says off-handedly

Ace: You've been nothing but a complainer this whole time, Teruko, and that's coming from me.

Again, small detail, but shows ace's awareness that he often complains. just adds to how ace views himself.

Tho more concerningly ace says later

Ace: You know what, fuck it! Fuck this motive, fuck investigating, fuck this killing game, I'm just going to walk around randomly and get my head blown off by whatever's waiting for us. Who cares! Buh-bye!

I will touch on this more later, but here we get the first glimpse of ace's self-destructivness. perhaps in some desperate way to escape his fear of death and everything from the last chapter, ace chooses apathy as the solution to facing death

during teruko's exploration at the gym, ace constantly brings up levi's threat from the trial. but unlike before, where he might cower away, ace shows no fear in snatching levi's stretch band and running away. it seems that while before ace may have wanted to improve by following levi, seeing levi do something ace would have done while facing no reprucussions from the rest of cast drives ace mad. after all, levi did threaten to actually harm ace, while ace only makes cowardly attempts to fight, but somehow people are way more willing to look past levi compared to ace.

however, after teruko calls ace "utterly useless" and "volatile, a coward" and "will die quickly" ace comes rushing back into the gym

however, when confronted and teruko only doubles down on her statement, ace is taken aback before saying

Ace: Tch, I should have realized it from the start. In this killing game, everyone is out to get me. Especially people who love picking fights with me, people like you and Levi (side note: in all of my talk of his self awareness, ace still doesn't realize he's the one starting fights smhh). I can't believe I wasted my time with all that dumb shit like arm wrestling and running around screaming at meaningless stuff. I was fucking stupid to not take this killing game seriously from the start. I'm done with being everyone's kickable scaredy cat. The only thing I should do is look out for myself and myself alone.

His previous awareness of his cowardly-ness now has transformed to self-loathing, as he is angry at himself for not "taking the killing game seriously". it sure seems like he did, judging by his fear of it; but it seems to me he more means trying to let himself get caught up in miniscule conflicts to distract from bigger problems. in some ways, it's like teruko in which ace tried to open up (not a lot, mind you) to distract from the looming fear of dying. but now that it has been confirmed, he feels like he has been played for a fool. his awareness of his "scaredy cat" label further intrigues the audience, because it seems ace truly does loathe how much of a coward he is, but is unable to truly overcome it. before, he seemed more willing to openly express it, and his desire to change, exposing himself slightly. but now he realized how much of a weakness that was for him, as pointed out by teruko, so now ace is determined more than ever to mask his fear with more destructive tendancies.

next we see ace is with what becomes the start with his rivalry with nico. we do get a hint in chapter 1 of ace picking on nico, but here, it fully explodes to actually bullying.

when asked what set ace off, nico recounts how he mentioned that if ace keeps on yelling, people will "keep thinking you're dumb". now idk when this happened, but likely right after teruko said pretty much veratim what nico is warning ace about happening. with it already proven true, ace is already prepared to fire back and now direct all his resentment towards his classmates of their perception of him on nico.

Ace: You all think I'm damaged in the head. But more than that ... Levi, Teruko, Nico, Veronika, and everyone else. You all think you can say whatever the fuck you want to my face, right? I'm stupid, irritating, a good-for-nothing, and a spineless coward. Is that what everyone really thinks of me? And it's fine that you drill it into my head over and over again, because you think that I'll forget about it in 5 minutes like you do? Ha! Ha ha ha ha! You're sooo funny! So fucking funny, did anyone ever tell you that? You think I act like this for fun, and then I go to bed and sleep soundly at night, you dumb piece of shit?

THIS! THIS IS WHAT MAKES ACE SO COMPELLING! Because as much as it seems like Ace is rejecting what everyone is saying from the list he made of negative traits, I'd argue only Teruko hands-down affirmed what Ace says about himself. Levi apologized multiple times, Nico further explained he meant it as constructive critcism, and well ... idk Veronika is just thrilled so she doesn't care. Honestly, while it might be true the cast thinks that of him, only 4 people have mentioned it, and two already apologized. But that was enough for ace, because form this dialogue alone, it inadvertenly reveals this is how ace views himself constantly

that's why i love ace's character writing. he can outwardly seem like such a jerk (and he is, no denying that) from being a coward, but with his dialogue, it reveals so much about it without him ever uncharacteristically acting vulnerable. he fully weaponizes his own self-hatred and chooses to instead reframe it as everyone else's full hatred of him. he is constantly hating himself, but at the same time, it conflicts with his want to be seen by others better. due to his own self hatred however, he believes that everyone already looks down on him, which creates its own self-fufilling prophecy

(SPOILER FOR THE RECENT EP 9) this even connects with his relationship with food. while jockies do develop eds due to the strict weight limiations to correctly ride the horse, that quickly can spiral to body image issues, and thus how people view them. ace's ed likely further adds to his hatred to not just himself but his own body, an ed that is further justified by said talent. moreover, we know previously how it is his fear of being viewed a failure that pushes him to become a jockey.

but instead of being able to better himself, he chooses to project and cover these self-loathing thoughts as not just his own, but everyone else's. and with nico - someone ace despises due to nico being the coward ace likely fears he is seen as (get it ... scaredy cat ... cuz ... cuz nico looks like a cat ... hehehe ill see myself out) - to point it out to him right after being told off by teruko is what broke the camel's back for him.

moreover, with how ace questions the others about him choosing to act the way he does "for fun" hints to the actual lack of control ace feels he has not just on the world, but himself. he cannot find anything in himself to like, but because he doesn't know how to be better, he's left constantly internalizing it. it may be why he constantly causing a stir and lashing out, in order to never be left alone to think about it like he would at night

it may be why ace threatens to "bash" veronica's "brain out", so veronika, in all her psycho analysis, only points out the surface level fear of the killing game pushing ace to act the way he does, treating ace like a coward. and he is, but ace knows that more than anyone else about himself and the constant treatment of him as pathetic infuriates him because in his eyes, they all aren't pin pointing anything ace doesn't know about himself that he may be able to control.

(tho before i continue on, just know whatever i've been rambling on about is not a justification of any of ace's actions, especially him being a massive asshole to nico, only due to his own insecurity and not because of nico himself. while ace didn't deserve to be attempted-murder-ed for it, he is the one who took the first shot and people have the right to be upset, especially nico. pls dont take this post as me justifiying ace's actions or his words at all T^T he's an intersting characters and i just like watching characters cause interesting conflicts)

During the cafeteria scene, when david intervenes in ace exposing nico's secret, ace says

Ace: Tch. Of course. You always need people like David to save you from mean bullies like me, huh? What a pathetic weakling. The truth is, you're nothing but a spineless whelp who can't stand up for yourself.

Nico: Why are you so cruel?

Ace: Go ahead and cry. Let everyone swoop in and help you.

Nico: You're ... You're the worst.

Ace: Yeah? And?

Ace refers to himself as a "mean bully" and accepts the label as "the worst" from nico fully, showing how he plans on only "looking out for himself". Ace is aware what he is doing is wrong, which is interesting from the bully archetype.

And as others have mentioned before, his line of calling nico a "pathetic weakling" feels less just directed at nico, but more himself. Ace, in his perspective, finds it unfair that Nico has aroused others' pity while ace only manages to drive them away (here's a thought: don't start a fight first chance u get lol). he believes that nico and him are both equals in terms of "patheticness" but nico, in ch 1, is sought after by xander and teruko (something ace interjects into). In some vain way to gain an edge over what ace views as his worst qualities, ace antagonizes nico, but it only leads to more people supporting nico (obviously lol). we'll see often ace referring to nico as a coward, 100% projecting.

but after david, hu, and nico run out the cafeteria, i think ace's interaction with rose is particularly interesting and definitely worth looking into.

Rose: Ace, you definitely went too far.

Ace: Haah? You wanna go --

Rose: You're doing it again. How do you have so much energy to fight all the time?

Ace: Tch - Look, I just ... I struggle to control myself sometimes when I get angry. Or something.

Levi: Still, that in no way warrants what you said to Nico -

Ace: Oh, like you're one to talk. Why am I sticking around this dump? I'm leaving.

I have to wonder what Rose said that caught Ace off-guard. this is speculation, but initially ace seemed fired up to fight. But when Rose instead poses a question rather than a statement of ace's character, it's what manages to cool him down enough to admit his own anger issues. In a way, Rose may have been a lingering question Ace often thinks himself, and for Rose to verbalize it manages to cool Ace down. But when Levi makes a statement about ace, that and what ace views as levi's hypocrisy is enough to put ace back on the offensive (or defensive... idk he's just angry all over again)

now onto nico's attempted murder (also have to say this, but omg i love ace's va, Seth Raffield. especially during ch 6. bro put his everything to sound actually in pain its incredible work all throughout!)

while most of ace's reaction is in line of what you'll expect ace - hell anyone really if they were nearly murdered - to say (ie swear profusely and scream).

however, for once, ace is offered help from levi and eden (idk about teruko lol but ig she gives advice in telling ace to give up on finding nico.

Ace: Don't bother. I'd rather bleed all over my room than accept any sort of help from you.

Levi: Don't say that. Your injury is serious. If you don't get medical treatment right now, you're going to make your situation worse -

Ace: Then I'll let it get worse! I'd rather die alone than accept your help! It's inevitable anyway, so why should I take your pity on top of everything else I have to suffer through?! Don't talk to me ever again!

Levi: ...

Eden: Don't say that ...

Ace: You know ... Heh. I've always wondered which is worse, dying young or living a long shitty life of suffering. But it turns out neither of those options are as bad as this.

Teruko: What's 'this'?

Ace: Don't ask stupid crap. And also? Go eat shit. [Ace proceeds to pass out]

This always confuses me. LIKE WHAT IS 'THIS' REFERRING TO? The killing game? Being murdered? Nico getting away with murder??? WHAT AHHH?

It's so puzzling I cannot for the life of me figure out what ace is alluding to by what is so bad from dying at nico's hand. Whatever it is is clearly important since teruko points out ace's vague phrasing BUT I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!! ( T^T )

Though from what i do know, ace clearly still holds a deep resentment for levi, rather wanting to die than get his help. And that's a huge jump from ace of ch1 who was terrified of death, and perhaps he still is. but we did see early in ch2 after the motive reveal this self-destructive attitude he has adopted since the min's execution.

He fully accepts his death, calling it inevitable, which may be even more true for ace's case with the understanding of his ed. with his body "falling apart" and eds being known to get in the way of a body being able to properly recover, ace's paranoia of death becomes something not just delusion but a constant reality for him. Death is always present in his mind, with it seeming he has spent a long time questioning whether dying young or old is better or worse.

I don't have much to say as of newer material since it's pretty expected of ace's reaction. tho its really jarring how people are fully unwilling to accept the possibility nico attempted to kill ace WHEN HE WAS CLEARLY INJURED. it's wild. i can't say i agree with him fully going after nico during the investigation, but i cant say i think ace is in the wrong since LITERALLY NOBODY IS WILLING TO BELIEVE ACE, not even eden nor teruko choose to back him up on what they saw.

so uh tl;dr (don't blame u)

soo ...yeah ace cool character maybe? idk if anything i really said was anything ground breaking i just had to compile them all together in this big ol' post. ace is a character who idk resonates with me in all of his frustration. a lot of what he says feels like a very human feeling of knowing his wrongs but feeling powerless to make a change, creating a cycle of bitter frustration. it's what really makes ace stand out, as while at first he appears to be a one off hot headed joke, ch 2 takes the breadcrumbs laid out in ch 1 and truly expands on the implications it means. He's the bully trope, but instead of bullying out of confidence, he bullies from insecurity. And not just that, he is very aware of it and hates himself for how he acts. A bully who wants to do better but can't control himself is just intriguing and i cant wait to see more ace development

now anyway ill be off in my sacrifice circle to manifest survivor ace

[snoozingredpanda]

Benni Winters — Wedding Photographer

Fem!Reader

18+ Please!

Warnings: NSFW, cheating, oral, fingering, praise, slight degrading, semi-public sex, obsession ofc, swearing

—

• Benni’s camera shutter click as she takes a photo of you in your gorgeous white gown. You’re smiling, staring at your new husband, who gazed back lovingly.

• Dressed in a smart suit, she was the wedding photographer, hired to snap pictures all evening to remember this wonderful day.

• She wanders around for hours, snapping the guests dancing and celebrating, but always gravitated back towards the newlyweds.

• I mean, this whole thing was about you and your partner, but Benni had other reasons. She just couldn’t take her eyes off of you.

• You were stunning, your h/c hair all pinned up in such a beautiful way, make-up enhancing all your pretty features.

• Benni knew her thoughts were wrong. You had just gotten married, for heaven’s sake! You were clearly happy; this wasn’t time for a bout of obsession to sink in.

• But it did.

• She follows you all evening, pretending to take pictures of the decorations if you look her way.

• At last you separate from your husband, who goes to get a drink with his best man.

• Benni’s heart is beating so fast as she approaches you, a gentle smile on her lips.

• “Congratulations,” she says, “You look magical.”

• You grin to yourself. “Thank you. You’re the photographer, right?”

• She nods, taking your hand and kissing it softly. Your hands tingles where her lips once were.

• “Benni Winters,” she introduces.

• “Y/n Saunders,” you reply. She tries not to scowl at the sound of your new last name.

• Y/n Winters would be so much better.

• “Your dress is one of the finest I’ve ever seen. Where did you get it from?” She questions to make small talk.

• “Markus got it specially made,” you gush. “It’s so comfortable and beautiful. I love it.”

• “Looks like it. Say, this place is quite dark. May we go outside so I can get a proper shot of it in the setting sun?” She suggests.

• You nod eagerly, and she leads you outside to the balcony. The wedding was at a large country estate — it seems her new husband had quite a bit of money.

• You sit on the side, careful not to fall.

• Benni’s snapping tens of pictures, directing you to turn your head so the sun catches your hair in the perfect way.

• She doesn’t realise it, but she’s complimenting you the whole time, her tongue having a mind of its own.

• “God, you’re beautiful.”

• “You husband is a very lucky man.”

• “The most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”

• You’re getting flushed from all her smooth talking. Your mouth is getting dry, palms sweaty.

• “Done. You’re the perfect model, love.” She smiled at you.

• She walks over, showing you all the photos. She’s amazing with a camera; these shots are so damn good.

• You give her a grin, your eyes lingering on the way her tongue swipes across her bottom lip.

• “You okay?” She whispers.

• You nod slowly, but get up and rush to the bathroom. A few seconds later she follows.

• “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you hiss, splashing your face with water.

• “What?” She asks, turning you to face her. You’re on the verge of tears.

• “I shouldn’t of married Markus,” you sob out.

• “Why not?” She tries not to smile.

• “Sure, he has money, but he’s a fucking dick,” you huff. “If I’m feeling this way for someone else on my wedding night, how will I survive the years to come?!”

• “Feeling what way?” Benni murmurs, breath hitching in her throat.

• You look up at her, before crashing your lips to hers. She has no time to respond, you’re practically eating her face, pulling her harder and harder against you.

• After a few seconds she manages to move her lips, and the kiss starts to flow, rough and passionate. She’s pressing you against the sink, caging you in with her arms. Arms around her neck, all thoughts of your husband vanish.

• Your hand untucks her shirt, crawling up her torso. You shiver as you feel her toned stomach.

• Fuck, she’s so hot.

• Benni pulls away, much to your dismay. She gives you a sexy wink, only to check all the cubicles and lock the door.

• She goes right back to your lips, arms pulling you closer by the waist. Her tongue’s skilled as it pushes its way into your mouth, the feeling causing a pang of arousal to resonate through your system.

• One of her hands reaches up to the clip in your hair, pulling it out. Your hair cascades down your back, making her let out a breathy sigh.

• “So beautiful,” she murmurs, lips peppering across your face.

• She doesn’t want to ruin your dress, nor let it fall to the dirty bathroom floor, so instead decides not to take it off of you.

• She smirks as she hikes it up to your hips, the puffy fabric bunching up.

• Her mouth waters as she sees your adorable white cotton panties, a little bow on the front.

• “Saving this for your husband?” She whispers teasingly.

• “N—no,” you breathlessly reply. “I don’t want to ever do this with him.”

• “And why’s that?” Benni asks as she slowly drags them down your plush thighs.

• “I—I just don’t. He made fun of me for being a virgin and I don’t want him to take it,” you whine.

• “You’re a virgin?” You nod, slightly ashamed. “Fuck… you’re letting me take it, eh?”

• You nod needily.

• “Good slut,” she purrs, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. “Only me, okay?”

• You nod again as she lifts you up to sit on the counter, spreading your perfect legs. You’re dripping, untouched.

• Slowly, she presses a thumb to your clit, a soft gasp leaving your pink lips. She circles it, watching the way your cheeks turn bright red, eyelids hooded.

• Collecting dribbles of your arousal, she wets your clit repeatedly, licking her lips. Sucking on her fingers, she craves to bury her face in your cunt.

• “Can I taste, love?” She looks up at you with such lust and love?

• Fuck it. You were divorcing Markus tonight.

• “Yes,” you whimper.

• Benni falls to her knees, nosing your pretty pussy. You smelled heavenly, and as soon as her tongue tasted your delicious juices, she was hooked.

• Sucking on your clit, she moans against you as your thighs clamped around her head. Breathy, pleasured sighs leave your lips, a flurry of bliss rushing over you.

• “Oh, Benni,” you cry, biting your hand in an attempt to keep quiet. She was so good at this; the hair on the back of your neck stood on edge as her calloused hands ran up and down your shaking thighs.

• “Tastes so good,” she murmurs into your pussy, vibrations making your back arch against the mirror behind you.

• You go to beg her for more, but the sound of someone pushing on the locked door made you jump up.

• Benni gasps in shock as your dress enveloped her, hiding your infidelity as your husband called, “Y/n, you in there?”

• You unlock the door and give an innocent smile, making sure your puffy dress covered Benni well. You could feel her hands on your thighs, her lips soft against your skin.

• “Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for nearly fifteen minutes,” Markus asks, a little annoyed.

• “My dress was irritating me,” you lie.

• “Oh, well, don’t worry about that. In a few hours it’ll be on the bedroom floor,” he winks.

• Ew.

• Benni cringes, gagging when she hears him kiss you. She huffs, before pressing her tongue back to your cunt, feeling your shift your weight in surprise.

• You grit your teeth, giving an awkward smile to your husband.

• “Y—you go back out. I’ll be a few minutes,” you choked out.

• You feel her nip your sensitive clit, your eyes rolling back.

• “Are you okay, babe?” He questions. You quickly push him out.

• “Yes! Yes! Go!” With that, you slam and lock the door, moaning shamelessly as you uncover Benni, your slick dripping down her chin. She grins mischievously.

• “Fuck you,” you chuckle breathlessly.

• “No, I’m fucking you,” she laughs, before she rises, kissing you on the lips gently. Her hand’s slowly rubbing your sloshy pussy, and you’re trying to match her pace, moving your hips in a circular motion.

• “F—fuck, Benni!” You mewl, as she pushes two of her fingers into your aching cunt, moving them in a ‘come hither’ motion, hitting that beautifully sensitive spot inside.

• With each curl of the finger, you let out pleasured whimpers, a deep, delicious ache in your lower belly. It felt so good it was painful, your legs shaking pathetically as you near your end.

• “H—hurts,” you cry.

• “I know, sweetheart. Just relax,” she coos in your ear, planting delicate, sensual kisses across your neck, shoulders, face, anywhere she could reach.

• She sped up, your sex squelching as your wetness flicks around the bathroom. The pad of her palm pressed to your clit, your jaw slack as she bites your collarbone hard.

• Pain and pleasure explode in your system. Bucking your hips up, you rode out your high, like such a good slut.

• Benni grins, lips stained with your blood. You don’t care, your pussy feels way too good to think about anything other than how she pulls her fingers out, slapping your clit softly a few times, before slipping them into your mouth.

• Exhausted, you suck, moaning at the taste of your juices.

• Benni presses a kiss to your forehead, shoulder and stomach, before helping your pull your soiled panties up and readjust your dress.

• She holds you in her arms as you recover, cradling you like she was the one you married.

• “I want to be with you,” you whisper, gazing up at her.

• Her grey eyes were soft as she gazes back down. “Really?”

• You nod. “I’m going to go tell Markus I’m getting a divorce.”

• “Annulment, sweetheart,” she corrects. “I believe you can’t divorce until after a year of marriage. At least in this area.”

• You just smile, before kissing her cheek. “You’re not some serial killer, are you?” You joke. “Luring me into your arms.”

• “Of course not,” she chuckles, pulling the strap of your dress up to hide the bite mark on your collarbone. “I’ll wait for you outside. Look for the blue Mazda.”

• Parting with one last kiss, she left, and you took a deep breath, ready to escape Markus and his perverted clutches.

[chessalein]

WIP whenever because I wanna show I'm still alive

I think I'm not really active right now, but I'm still alive.

I just think that my energy for CP is not really present right now. Its been 4 years of 24/7 hype and I think right now I'm just overfilled with it?

My love for Jackie still exists and I will continue my fanfic because I just have too much fun with it. Right now I'm writing chapter 55.

Here is a little piece of Chapter 55 of "Bringing back the sun"

His big, strong arms that hugged her tightly while she sat on his lap were like a weighted blanked she needed right now and his big member inside of her was the distraction she wished for. Today none of them were in the mood for dirty talk and he knew that she probably wouldn’t want to hear sweet praises about how good she feelt. What she needed today was distraction and he would do his best to make it happen. If she was honest, it surprised her how bad she felt. She pushed multiple people through the death of their friend, son, brother, lover, not ever feeling like falling into a pit. She even did the unthinkable till then and slept with Vincent. But right now, the pain was different. She felt sluggish and unmotivated and just wished for an empty mind. “Val, cumming.” He groaned, making sure he would thrust even deeper while he filled her insides. His heavy breathing as his head rested between her breasts made her feel sorry for her lover. The whole day he tried to take her mind off things, to give her a good time. It did work okay, but never had she reached an orgasm today while he had several. “Damn, doll… You’re hard to please today.” His word seemed like a complain, but his eyes told her that he was sorry that he couldn’t give her the release she was looking for. She gave him a soft smile back before kissing his already dry lips. “The only thing that’s really hard today is your dick. How co- Don’t tell me you took something.” He shrugged with flushed cheeks. “Had to make sure to give you a good time for longer than a round. I know you need it…” The ripperdoc might not be the youngest anymore, but he was always proud that he can last three rounds on a good day. He never liked the thought that he had to take something to help his manhood rise or stay long enough, it was a big gesture of his love that he prepared like that.

And on the side (like... really... I have both open) I write on my "Dragon's Dogma 2" fanfic. I'm not sure yet how much it will follow the original story, but I have a few things I want to change up so it will be slightly different.

This is a warning that there are spoiler in the text below. Like I said, its a bit changed up from the original story but I gave you a warning so you can't give me a bad time. ♥

I would love to keep the fancy way of speaking like they do in the game, but sadly english isn't my first language and I would probably get everything wrong. So I will try to keep it in an elegant formal way that I think could come close, orienting on the speech pattern ingame.

The story has no title yet btw so... Here is the start of the Dragon's Dogma 2 fanfic without a name.

It was as if someone had lightened up a candle in a dark room in the middle of the night. As if she had suddenly come into existence out of thin air. Looking around she found out that a man with a larger build was speaking to her in rude manners. Telling her that she had too much of willpower in her eyes and that he didn’t like it. That there was life in her eyes, the opposite of the one her kind should have who are, taken by his words, are “lifeless like that of a corpse.” By the time he had opened the cell, she wasn’t able to recall what her emotions were this moment or how she should feel. There was no fear, there was no happiness, the only thing that filled her mind was confusion and curiosity of what was going on as she followed close behind the man. On their way, he kept talking, but her attention was captured by the tunnel they went through and wondered how it came that they hollowed out this way just to build a prison at the end of it. Was she a prisoner? What had she done? Neither her hands, nor her feet were restrained, perhaps she wasn’t one. Was she a slave? If yes, how long has she been? A sudden realization hit her while stumbling over the uneven, cold ground with bare feet: She didn’t know her name or any other thing about her past. Where should be memories was only a deep, empty void. Her emotion begun to set in the further they followed their path. A mix of fear and uneasiness, wondering what would happen to her should they come to the other side of it. The bright light of the sun blinded her as she made her first steps into the world she seemed to have forgotten about to live in. The warmth of it was like a spell that filled her body with energy and optimism as it was telling her that everything will be okay. Whatever it was that she had to do, she will take it and try to make the best out of it.

I can't wait to get to the point where she meets Jackie. I'm dying to write this scene.

[meetmyothersouls]

Amber, you are one of the kindest people I've met here. 💗

Thanks for offering support.

You know? I spoke about my feelings about this whole shit show on Twitter and I got called a psycho, a c*nt and a stupid b*tch. All because I posted I feel disappointed on him and the high steem I had him in.

I know this is all a rumor so far (no pics of them kissing or whatever... YET) but if it's not true, then why not stopping it? Where's his agent or his PR people denying it? It's pretty obvious this can bring negative repercussions to his career (right now his name is associated with jokes, memes and Kardashian talk... ugh)... so... why not saying something about it?

Unless it's true and then I honestly can't believe how I can keep stanning someone who gets proactively involved with that mess of a family.

I think the people you surround with say a lot about who you are as a person, and even when I know he would stick his dick in whoever he pleases, I just can't believe why from all the interesting and successful women he has met, he always gets involved with the problematic ones.

I'd found some solace when I wrote things inspired by him but right now I can't even read things about him, nor want to write anything.

I guess time heals everything. And this too shall pass, as I wrote in a fic about him.

Hey bestie,

Right back at you! You helped me in one of my lowest points and you will always hold a special place in my heart I hope you know this!

As far as them doing what they’re doing: there’s a very high possibility they’re just friends, in which case why would they stop? Ya know?

There is a possibility more is going on and it’s not PR. And in the other hand, even if we see them kissing in public it could be PR. Its hard to tell but I do know that in Hollywood, things move a thousand miles a minute and things that we think mean something mean absolutely nothing. Celebrities sometimes do weird shit to cover up things or to keep peoples attention away from things they don’t want talked about. If it is PR, to me it seems like it would be coming from Kylie’s side and not Timothee’s side.

For right now the best thing for us to do is ride it out. Worst case we see them mingling together or something, but here’s the thing it’ll be short lived as fuck. People probably won’t even be talking about this in a month.

I love Timothee and love his work, and while I don’t like what may or may not be happening, I’m not going to freak out. Not until I’m given a very very obvious reason to. And right now, we’ve not even seen them pictured together. That could change in the coming days, but don’t fret. It’s gonna be okay!

(Remember last year he was caught making out with some chick at Coachella? And look we don’t even remember her name now lol)

And you aren’t any of those things that people said. Don’t listen to them!

[theddude]

Lately i cannot sleep, at all, im exhausted, so mentally exhausted my brain isnt working anymore.... I dont know how you do it but i think you have the same?... how do you attend al the things you do with your partner when you as numb as i... you are doing your best i think, i know you do,... but how much a mask can cope?... ive got masks now as well... put them on while im with family or not alone, it drains me from energy... every brief moment im alone the mask slides of, and i have tears in my eyes and my mouth is sobbing, because all of those moments I can think with emotion about you...

I gett questions a lot, 'are you okay' 'you are not here, are you alright', ' do we need to get you help'... no, no and probably yes.... my only help would be Miss C back in my life,...its love,... its deep love, ifs unbelieveble deep love, its true love...

Beginning as colleagues into friends, into best friends, into lovers, into soul mates...what else do you want more...

Do you remember before I trueley knew you, I was at your reception, there was a game, about you and your partner, about who drives the best, I put my sign up for you,... all of your family looked at me... like.. huh howcome... I wasnt making a mistake, I did it on purpose,... because back then I already knew you need more love than meets the eye.... I couldnt hugg you then, I only had deep interest for you, and knew the person who was you with back then was never going to be able to give that all you needed,... you looked to me like suchs a wonderful person, who deserves so much more love, and shedding of all your masks.... some people can see through your masks, i believe(and understood) that i could....

Would it not be easier to live with someone without a mask? I believe it would,.. I could also see the mask you dad was wearing,... al the time... seems so exhausting too,.... i wish you didnt chose for a life in love with masks, but together with me without masks...everybody has masks, but should not need them around their partners...

You are not your Dad(or mom), you are not as good as your latest hickup, No you are You! And you are not valued by what you did, but by who you are,... AND YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING!,...you deserve the atmost repect and love, and not only love when the other wants it,... no, love when you want it and need it, that means love for you, cuddling, hugging, kissing, caring, caressing, talking, pouring emotions, listening, listening, holding you, consoling you, holding you,...

You need more than a manchild... hope you know that,... its dangerous,...

I'd love to marry you, and spend my life together with you, if you are ready for kids, then we have kids if you want ofc, if you want more pets, we gett more pets, you and i can be so happy!

Do you remember you bought your first satisfyer together with me? I do, you where so nervous, but you did it! We used it often, loved you playing with it, I dont see love purely as penetration, it is love for and with each other, pleasing you was always so much fun,.. for instance, loved all the times when my dick was out and you directly started stroking it, i knew you loved me stroking you to, on your lips, nipples, neck, mouth, arms, legs, butt, thighs,...

I remember you playing with your satisfyer and you asking me to put my dick in you, and then fuck you while you came with the satisfyer, it was suchs a good feeling!

Or like last time, you on your belly in bed, im stroking and fingering you, and you jerking me off, we both came, we both creamed, we both had awesome sounds doing that,... that was our love too....

While im typing this, thinking about you, ofc i gett a huge boner, and you know, i always gett, no matter how down i am or how much pads i see in the underwear or dots on your face,...i always gett a boner for you, because it is all so beautifull! I see passed the marks and scars and stuff, I see your eyes, your smile, your magnificent body!

Even now, sad because you are not here with me, sad because of the distance, sad of the things that happened,... I still can close my eyes in tears, and while stroking my boner, imagine you in front of me, or naked in bed, or naked on the couch, getting ready to sit on top of my, slowely riding me, and harder and harder and faster and faster, im holding your tits, kissing you if we can, im biting your nipples, grabbing your ass, ...or in bed when you liked it rough, me pulling your hair, riding you hard....so much fun, so much love!

I miss you love, with every fiber in my mind and body, im certain we belong together, I think you know that to,... love you beauty, ... i dont know where you are,.but you can always come home to me...

Your true love,

Patrick

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 79 Transcript: He Grabs His Yankle

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times...

C: And I, some one who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 19: "Jump the Shark," written by Andrew Dab and Daniel Loflin, directed by Phil Sgriccia.

C: Right, so we just looked up what "jump the shark" means [G, laughing: Yeah.], and Wikipedia says that it's when "a creative work has reached a point where it's exhausted its core intent and is introducing new ideas that are discordant with, or an over exaggeration of, its original purpose."

G: I love it.

C: [laughing] So essentially like, "I don't know what else to do with Season 4. Let's give them another brother." [laughs]

G: Yeah, literally like, "This is a 22-episode season, and we're missing one episode idea. So like, let's just throw this in there." But like, I do love this episode. I think it's super fun!

C: It's a good episode.

G: It's super fun.

C: I had a fun time with it. It feels very Season 1, which I liked.

G: Yes, it does. It feels Season 1 in that a lot of the emotional core of the episode is very John-centric and family-centric, and also like, the discussions that they're having here of like, "What is hunting? What is like- What does it mean for us to have grown up with this life?" etc. etc. is very Season 1. [C: Yeah.] And of course we're gonna continue having those questions throughout the show, but it's nice to revisit it, I feel, every once in a while as the story progresses, because, like, it does change, but also it doesn't. You know?

C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, they never went to therapy about it. [laughs] They have not processed it.

G: Yeah. Yeah, like, their perspectives in life are gonna change. Their experiences are gonna expand. But at the end of the day, they still did grow up with the childhood that they had. Like, they're always gonna carry that. [sadly] Oh. Well. Actually, like, this is one of those episodes where, usually, when I go in, I have like, a specific set of talking points that I want to bring up, and a lot of it is like, "I just wanna go and say my piece, [laughs] and then Crystal can do whatever." [laughing] [C: Uh-huh.] But this episode, I was like, "This is one of those episodes where I want to discuss it." [C: Okay.] Because especially the conversations Sam and Dean have, specifically the one about like, Adam being bait, the one they have right after that scene, I think it is so great. It's so rich, and it's so meaty, and it's like, while I was watching it, I was like, tearing up, and I knew, kind of, what I was feeling, but like, not in any way I can articulate, and so I'm looking forward to this discussion because I'm like, "Okay. Now, finally, I can articulate it" [laughs] hopefully, when we discuss it.

C: Okay. Yeah, I think it may still end up being you saying your piece because I feel like- I did not cry during this episode. I was just going, "Wow, Adam, as like, ghoul!Adam is literally the funniest guy alive. Go him!" And secondly, "Wow, Sam sure is a dick." [laughs] Like, I think during discussion I'll I'll be able to tease out more of why Sam ended up here 'cause it does like, make sense, [G: Yeah.] but it makes sense to me more of like, a- the writers were like, "There's two different ways that one could react to Adam in this situation. Here's the two, and we're gonna give one to Dean, and one to Sam, and the Sam one will make sense, but it would also make sense if it was swapped. But since we've given this one to Sam, people can just decide why it is after we give it to him."

G: Yeah. It is also so fascinating to me because through- like, I always remember Season 4 as a wonderful season, just absolutely amazing, right?

C: And this is the one episode whose name we didn't remember in the fucking Supernatural episodes title quiz that still haunts me every single day. [G laughs] Yeah?

G: The one where I claimed there was a bug man in Supernatural and did lose my mind completely when I couldn't find it. Well, there was a bug man in Supernatural, just so that everyone is known.

C: There was a bug man.

G: Yeah. Wonderful, wonderful episode.

C: Oh, yeah, that's a Ko-Fi bonus, so I guess only one person listening knows what we're talking about. [G laughs] We did the quiz where you're supposed to name every single episode of Supernatural, [G: Yeah.] and we got every single one [G: In Season 4, yeah.] except for “Jump the Shark.”

G: Yeah, in Season 4. We had like, a bunch of season others that were like, kind of sketchy.

C: Okay, true, yeah.

G: Yeah. I mean, as I was saying like, Season 4, I was like, iconic season. Iconic season. But like, while we were watching it like, just right before we took the break, I was like-

C: Is it?

G: - "This season is like, kind of bad." [C laughs] It's not like, as cohesive as I thought it was, right? [C: Mm-hm.] And then we come back and like, "Death Takes a Holiday," okay, fine. So-so episode. And then we go "On a Head of a Pin."

C: Awesome, yeah.

G: Yeah. And "It's a Terrible Life," "Monster at the End of This Book," and then "Jump the Shark." And it's like, these are 4 episodes in a row that are so good and like, iconic. They mean something, they're saying something, and they're good. Like, they're mood pieces, a lot of them. And it's like, you know, very fun, very moody, very atmosphere. And then I look at the rest of the episodes that are to come this season, and I'm like, "Okay, I completely understand now why I thought Season 4 was like, an absolute gem of a season of Supernatural." It's because this final lineup of episodes from 16 to 22 are just iconic.

C: Ends with a 7-episode high note.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I feel like every time you go through Season 4, even if the middle parts are like, a bit sketchy, once you hit "On the Head of a Pin," everything after that is so amazing that you're like, you do like, a retrospective like, you wash all of that terrible memories of the middle episodes away with this very high note at the end. It's amazing! The episode after this is "The Rapture." [C: Mm-hm.] Crazy! [laughs] And then it's "When the Levee Breaks" and then it's "Lucifer Rising"! What if it's all over? Iconic.

C: Yeah. Well. I hope that it is as good as promised.

G: So yeah, Crystal, what'd you know about this episode before you watched it?

C: So I knew that they were going to meet Adam, who's their younger half-brother from John and some woman named Kate that he met on a hunt, and that during the discussion of that, there's like, a very interesting line about how like, "Sometimes like, you save the girl, and sometimes the girl's grateful," as like, how Adam could have come into being, which I think we've discussed before in terms of, like, the damsel-rescuer sexual dynamics of like, the Supernatural woman of the week. I knew that after that, they like, cross-checked John's journal to see that Adam's never mentioned [G, laughing: Which is so funny.], but he often goes to the city that he's living in, like, each year, possibly on his birthday? Not each year, but he goes there.

G: Yeah, not only that, he fucking tears off the pages [C laughing] that mention having sex with Adam's mom, which is so iconic of him.

C: And that while they're there, Adam's gonna tell them that John was a good dad and took him to baseball games and Dean's gonna be really mad about it, but then it'll turn out that Adam and Kate are both dead, and that this is a ghoul having a lot of fun, and they eventually have to kill it and burn the body. So that's what I knew!

G: You know what? I didn't know about the ghoul part.

C: Wait, you didn't? You've seen this!

G: I thought that was another episode. I thought they meet him, and then next episode, he's gonna be dead by a ghoul, and then brought up-

C: No, he's super super dead, and then [G laughs] Cas drags his body out of the Earth and is like, "Can you defeat Michael" or some shit to him in Season 5.

G: "Can you be Michael's vessel?" [C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.] Yeah. I mean, I knew that conceptually, but I was still a bit surprised. I mean, I don't know. I think it was something like- I thought it was like, they do actually meet him, and then he dies.

C: Like, he gets replaced midway through? [G: Yes.] Nah, this is all the ghoul, baby!

G: There was- at some point in this episode, like, you know, when he does the final switch where he's holding the gun - which is such a stupid thing to do, Sam, by the way. Like, you're gonna give the kid the gun to shoot his mom? [laughing] He's right there!

C: No, at the end, Sam was the one holding the gun, and then Adam wrested it away from him.

G: Then he should have just wrestled it back! I don't know, I thought it was stupid as fuck.

C: Well, I mean, well, the thing about someone holding a gun is that when you try to wrest the gun back, they may shoot you with the gun, [laughs] [G: That's true!] so one must be careful in that situation.

G: [laughs] This is true, but also Sam is like, master gun-holder and Adam just held a gun for the first time today, so.

C: I mean, Adam did a decent job at shooting those targets. [G: For real.] And Sam's trying really hard to give him a chance. [G: He's a natural.] I mean, he's probably just thinking about how like, life would be a lot more bearable on the road if Dean wasn't the only person he could talk to, [G laughing] so that probably distracted his judgment.

G: I mean, we did say that [overlapping] having a younger brother-

C: - would fix them.

G: - would solve Sam and Dean's problems in life, and you know what? I think it would. Or maybe it won't. Let's see. Let's see where the discussion takes us.

C: I think this epiosde does not show that.

G: No, I think I do think it's interesting that Dean's perspective is like, "Yeah, like, we're all-we all come from the same dad, but whatever we experienced as children, we deserved that, and Adam doesn't." And it's like, "Okay, well, absolutely crazy take. Good for you."

C: Deserved? I don't think that's what Dean meant.

G: Yeah, of course. It's more of like, "We're already here already, so like, might as well."

C: Yeah.

G: But again, we'll talk about when we discuss it, because my thoughts are not well-formulated as of now.

C: Wait, so like, when did you know that he was a ghoul?

G: I don't know. When he turned around and was like [both] "I know." or something.

C: And gave a sicko smile of sicko-ness

G: [laughs] Yeah, he was like, "Ha ha, yeah!! Ha ha!" [C laughs] sicko voice.

C: Yeah.

G: So the "Then" sequence this episode, pretty banger! I do love it when they have a "Then" sequence that is like, so obviously, John. [C laughs] 'Cause John, like, only shows up, honestly, for a really few episodes, and so like, they just recycle that shit. Good for them. [C: Yeah.] I don't know. Some iconic lines here are like, John saying that "I couldn't accept that we were different" and Sam being like, "We're not different, like, not anymore," which they do bring up this episode. They also bring up a lot of the blood-drinking stuff because it becomes semi-relevant later in a way that's so confusing to me. Like, what? Supernatural, what are you trying to tell me? What the fuck is this about?

C: Oh, yeah, when when the ghouls are like, "His blood taste different"?

G: No, I mean, specifically, it was like, when the ghouls go, "Oh, but why is my dad a monster? Because of what he ate?" And that's supposed to be like, a Sam like, "You're a monster, too, because of what you drink." And I think it's supposed to be-

C: Oh, I did not read it like that at all.

G: Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, of course, I also was like, "I don't read it like that," but like, I think Supernatural wants us to be like, "Yeah, Sam is also a monster! What a fucking hypocrite!" [C: Huh.] But it's supposed to be like, "Yeah, that guy wasn't a monster, and, like, Sam, isn't a monster." [C: Yeah, literally.] But the way it's framed in the story, is like [C: I guess so.

, "That guy's horrible, and Sam's horrible." And I was like, Supernatural what the fuck is wrong with you? [laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, wild of them to give the ghouls such a good, logical argument but to think that we would not think that it's a good, logical argument? Like, literally, they were right. They were both right.

G: No, because the whole time they're like, "Oh, yeah, like, my dad was evil, and I'm mad at you, and this is revenge." But, like, the distinction we are supposed to make, I believe, is that when Sam and Dean do revenge, they want to do it, but they feel bad about it. [C laughing] And these two, it's like, they want to do it, but they're like, "Yeah, I mean, this is a fine thing we're doing, I think." So like, that makes it bad. It's not the action, it's how you feel.

C: It's like how torture in Supernatural, you have to feel bad about it also. God.

G: Yeah, exactly. It's not about what the action actually is. It's about how you feel about the action, like, when you do your torture/killing for revenge situation, do you go, "Oh, woe is me," [C laughs] or do you do like a "Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha!" in a sicko voice. [C laughs] And that's what makes it either morally bad or morally good.

C: Oh, god, Supernatural's so fucked in the head. [G laughs]

G: It's such a fucked in the head show, for fucking real. [laughs] "You can only do things that are logically sound and that you want to do if you feel bad about it." [C laughs] Like, okay, sure.

C: Yeah, you should also do logically unsound things all the time [G laughs] just based off of "it's evil it's not human." God. [G, laughing: Yeah.] Whatever. Whateber. What-fucking-eber.

G: [laughing] Whatever. Well, so-

C: Also, the "Then" sequence ends with Dean saying, "It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you." Can you believe he said that shit? [laughs] No wonder I was like, miserable for a week after I watched that episode and hated recording it so much.

G: Yeah, it's an insane thing to say. And like, honestly, that's what like- the fact that the "Then" sequence ends with that is what informs my like, conviction that my interpretation-

C: Mm, that that's what they were going with with the ghouls?

G: Yeah. 'Cause like, they wouldn't do this- they wouldn't put that line in there if it wasn't- They would put the line of Sam being like, [teary] "I'm not actually-" or whatever. Has he ever said that? Or was he just like, "Yeah, I am evil. But I'm sad about it!" or whatever. [C laughing] Supernatural is such a stupid-

C: I think he said things in "Metamorphosis." But I guess that line does remind me about- Okay, in Season 2, Dean never was like, "Dad told me to kill you, but I promise I won't," right? He just said, "I'll save you so I don't have to kill you." right? Like, that's what he said?

G: Yeah. I think so.

C: Okay, well, first, fucked. Secondly, like, I feel like Sam's arrogance in Season 4 is the only thing preventing me from wondering if part of the reason why he's hiding it from Dean is that like, he'll be like, "Well, Dean, said that if I cross a certain line, he'll kill me. This is probably the line." [G: Slay.] But I feel like Season 4 Sam is in a mental and emotional place where, like, if he had that thought, he would be able to repress it really fast and have it not affect him much. Maybe- I feel like if he had the thought, he'd have it in like, a, "Oh, but I could take him. But I don't want to be in a position where I have to."

G: Yeah, he'd probably be like, "Dean is too weak to kill me" [both laugh] or whatever.

C: [laughing] No, for real. [G laughs] God.

G: I love how at the beginning of this recording, I was like, "And these last seven episodes are so good and so iconic!" And now we're just, "Supernatural is so stupid!" But like, both things can be true.

C: Love is love.

G: Yeah. Love is love.

-

G: So we start this episode in this woman's house, and I don't know. She's walking around, kind of screaming. She's scared something chasing her, etc. She ends up backed against  a door and then, you know, backed against something else. And eventually, she's like, by the bed. And she's still terrified. She's standing beside the bed, and we see, like, a shot from underneath the bed. It's, you know, normal, typical horror movie like, being is creeping out of the bed into this unsuspecting woman's feet. And then she gets grabbed. She screams. And as she gets dragged on the floor, she leaves scratch marks, and the dresser falls over, and we see that part of the stuff knocked over is a solo picture of John Winchester.

C: [laughing] Solo. Solo.

G: Solo!

C: On her nightstand.

G: What the fuck is this?

C: Like, she goes to sleep every night, waves goodnight to a solo photo of John fucking Winchester. Like, no, she does not.

G: Like, why?

C: Like, they have photos later of, like, the two of them together. If it was a photo of the two of them together, I'd be like, "Okay, that's fine." Like, that's something you would put in your bedroom. Solo photograph of John Winchester? And she doesn't even know he's dead, right? So like-

G: She doesn't know he's dead, 'cause if she did, the ghouls would know just because they have like- they keep their memories-

C: Yeah, they have her memories from taking over her body or eating her or whatever.

G: It's so odd!

C: If he was dead, like sure, you could have that. But like, come on. John? Winchester? Solo picture? God. Poor woman.

G: Also, like, I don't understand what the relationship between Kate and John is supposed to be. Like, are they supposed to be in love?

C: I don't know. Because, yeah, I really thought it was- 'cause, okay, she wouldn't tell Adam about him or call him until like, what?

G: When Adam was twelve, yeah.

C: - six years ago? And then he would only visit on Adam's birthday and shit. Are you telling me- what? She's been like, holding out for John Winchester for 6 years? Like, that's incredibly sad. [laughs] I don't think anyone would do that.

G: Also, John died like, 4 years ago, right. What is it? I don't know when John died.

C: Yeah, he died in Season 2, so I guess he died 2 years ago.

G: Oh, yeah. Dean does say that. What an odd, odd, odd-

C: Also, she thinks he's a mechanic, right?

G: Yeah, I have no idea what's going on.

C: So like- Yeah. Like, he doesn't really have like, an excuse. Like, if she wanted to be with him, she would have just like, asked.

G: Moved to where he is like, doing mechanic work, yeah.

C: Moved to where he is like, mechanicking, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I think that perhaps-

G: Is she pining? What is this?

C: - Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin don't understand what people are like. [laughs]

G: If this was kind of like, a, so like, John shows up and then like, 12 years gone, and then he realizes he has a kid and then commits to himself to this family, like, that would make more sense.

C: But he does not.

G: But obviously, that doesn't happen. Obviously, it's not what happens, so I don't know. I don't know.

C: Yeah. Yeah. You think when he visits, she like, hides the portrait, or like, he comes in-

G: 'Cause it's like, it's too embarrassing?

C: - and he's like, "That's a normal thing to have on the nightstand!"

G: Yeah. [laughs]

C: Like, "Correct of you to do. I see you once a year. I hope that you look at my photograph every night."

G: They also have a picture together that's like, they're lovey-dovey. Like, they're like- her hand is on John's neck or whatever.

C: Right, so are they meant to be like, long-distance? Like, were they like, [laughs] supposed to be dating throughout Season 1.

G: [laughing] That is so- Maybe Season 1 John was gone because he was having a torrid love affair honeymoon period with Kate.

C: Yeah, maybe so. He was like, "God, I'm so obsessed with getting revenge for Mary's death, blah blah blah blah blah, but also, like, most of the time I'm not looking for the demon." I mean, Kate is blond.

G: No, I mean, here's the thing. The reason why they have this picture is because it's similar to a picture that John and Mary have, and that's the whole point. That's the whole point. [C: Right.] It's for Dean to look at it and go, "Ugh. Just like Dad and Mom. But that's not Mom. [fake-teary] That's another woman! [C: Yeah.] Hweaghh!" [both laughing] So like, it's so stupid!

C: Yeah, I have no clue what the nature of their relationship is.

G: Best not to speculate, yeah.

C: Yeah. [both laugh] Best not.

Aiya. Well, now that we've panned this poor woman for her decor choices for 10 minutes or some shit [G laughs], let's move on to the episode.

-

C: We start by a lake. It's morning. The Impala is parked. And Sam is outside leaning against and brushing his teeth! It's so cute.

G: He's not using toothpaste.

C: He also does not have water to rinse off the toothbrush. Like, it's gotta be icky.

G: I think he's using the salt method where, like, you brush your teeth with salt, [C: Mm.] I suppose, is what he's doing. I mean, they have so much salt, so it probably is like, "All of our toothpaste budget went into the salt, [both laugh] so like, let's just use the salt to brush my teeth." But also, what an odd, odd, odd- I don't know. I thought it was odd. Good for him, though.

C: No, I guess they just don't have time to hold on to things, so no toothpaste.

G: He doesn't even look like he's brushing his teeth. I feel like he's just stimming with this like, fucking toothbrush. He's like, "Okay, I just want something in my mouth right now. I wanna dig into the back of my like, cheek." And then like, good for him.

C: Good for him.

G: It's cute, though. I do like this visual a lot. And I think this adds to what you said about it looking like a Season 1 thing, because, like, even in this shot, I looked at this, and I was like, "This doesn't look like Season 4 Sam. It looks like Sammy!"

C: Yeah. He does look younger. Aww. Sam.

G: Yeah. And he's about to learn that he's a middle child. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. Maybe all that like, hashtag sick and twisted shit he said later, was just like, from learning that he was a middle child. Like, I get it. [G laughs] He was like, "I have to ruin Adam's life. This is the only option."

G: Yeah, "It's my job as an older brother." Yeah.

C: Yeah, like, "I've seen how this goes. I have a great role model for how to be an older brother. [laughs] Let's do this."

G: For real.

C: Dean, he's asleep. He's doing a physical comedy bit where he's sleeping in a very uncomfortable position and then, when he opens the door, he like, falls on the ground, almost. And it's

G: This is not a physical comedy bit. It's not funnay! [C laughs] I don't know. Probably. But I didn't think it was funny.

C: Alright, yeah. But yeah. I don't know. They're talking about how they're two hours away from any food. Dean searches for a sandwich in the backseat, but it's tuna so it's- is it just that like, it's gone bad by now and smells bad? Or is it like, "It's gay to not eat beef"? Like, what's the situation here?

G: Tuna, if it's a tuna sandwich, I'm assuming it's the thing with the mayo and everything? [C: Yeah.] That shit's gonna expire like, real quickly, so it's probably gone bad. [C: Yeah, makes sense.] And it's in a backseat in this warm whatever this is? Yeah.

C: There's a phone that rings inside the car. Dean gets it, and Sam goes, "Isn't that dad's phone?" So I guess that does mean that Dean-

G: Keeps it charged.

C: Yeah, has to charge this sometimes. And I'm assuming it's Dean who does it. But okay, I wonder if Sam kept John's phones charged, like, while Dean was dead as well. Probably, just 'cause like, he was in like, hardcore hunter mode and probably wanted to know if there was going to be any intel relevant to the demon war. Dean picks up the phone and someone asks, "Is this John?" And, you know, Dean says he can't come to the phone.

G: Why? 'Cause John is dead. [both laugh] [laughing] Sorry.

C: Real. The person says, like, "I really need to talk to John." He introduces himself as "Adam Milligan, someone that John knows." And Dean, with absolutely no tact at all, goes, "Well, sorry to be the one to break this to you, pal, but John died more than 2 years ago." Rude!

G: I think it's fine.

C: I think it's the "pal" that makes it condescending to me. [G: Yeah, I suppose so.] I mean, I just would deliver it differently.

G: [serious] "Hate to break it to you, my friend. [both laugh] That John is dead for more than 2 years now."

C: So there's- Adam makes like, a sound of surprise and dismay. And Dean goes, "Who is this?" And Adam goes, "I'm his son!" [G gasps] Gasp!

G: Iconic, honestly.

C: Truly.

-

G: We go to a like, Minnesotan diner. And Sam and Dean are preparing to enter, but Dean is really loading up, really loading up with weapons. Sam is talking about how like, Adam does check out. He was born like, September 29, 1990. Sam was saying that "This guy checks, out, Dean. I don't know what to tell you." And Dean is saying, like, "Yeah, maybe the person checks out, but like, that's a demon, or whatever. He can't be actually dad's-"

C: Also, he's a biology major who's premed. Just like Sam was pre-law.

G: Which is so funny! Which is so funny because here, they acknowledge that they understand that, like, a pre-blank course, is like, a bachelor's degree that you specifically take to do something after, right? [C laughs] So like, they understand that, like, biology is a course, it is the major.

C: There's a premed track on biology. What is the pre-law track on whatever Sam's actual major was? [both laugh] What was his major? [screams]

G: Literally, the dean was like, fucking lying to him or something. Like, the dean was like, "I think we can keep this kid here forever, [laughs] like, in undergrad." And they probably could!

C: I mean, Sam's probably getting- well, Sam's getting a full ride, so like, they're like, losing the longer they keep him. [G laughs] They're probably like, "Oh, we're giving you this special course that actually only takes like, three years, or whatever. It's pre-law. That's the name of it."

G: It's pre-law, yeah!

C: Yeah.

G: What is Sam's course? We had this discussion before, but every single time-

C: We decided on psychology, I thought.

G: Psychology, right? What if he's a business major?

C: [laughs] God.

G: Literally, I think all business- I don't wanna be a hater. [C: Mm.] So I'll just stop talking right now. [laughing] [C laughs]

C: I don't think Sam would be a business major. I think that's too removed from his skillset.

G: Sam would not be a business maker, but it would be pretty funny if he was!

C: It would be pretty funny if he was.

G: Everybody in that course would be like, "Yeah, my dad, like, established this real big company, and I wanna be just like him," blah blah blah. "Our family has had this company for centuries," you know, whatever. And Sam's like, "I don't know. My uncle has like, a salvage yard. That's pretty cool." [laughs] Good for him.

C: Yeah, it is pretty cool.

G: And it is pretty cool! Yeah. Have I talked about here about how like, for the longest time, I thought "salvage" meant "kill," and I couldn't understand why salvage yard- like, Bobby Singer's salvage yard was called a salvage yard?

C: They murder the cars there. [G laughs]

G: Yeah-

C: You bring good cars there. You bring cars that work in there, and Bobby-

G: And then you kill the car.

C: Yeah.

G: They go in there. And as they approach the table, Dean does this really interesting thing where he removes the chair beside where Adam's supposed to sit. What is the intentionality behind that? Just to make sure he uses the fork-

C: So he's sitting across from Dean so that Dean can shoot him.

G: Oh, that's crazy! But he's not, though? He's sitting like, in front of Sam!

C: Is he really?

G: Yeah. He sat in front of the water and everything. I thought it was because so that like, what if the server serves like, two cutleries for that place and like, he doesn't get the cutlery that's supposed to be the-

C: Yeah, that could be it.

G: Yeah. But when it first happened. I was like, "Well, that's very odd. But go Dean!"

C: I feel like you were planning to murder this kid, you should arrange to meet somewhere other than a public diner. Like, personally-

G: Maybe Dean was like, "Well, we're already in a fucking like, FBI watchlist. Like, [laughs] IDGAF."

C: He's like, "I care so much about saving innocent civilians from knowing about ghosts, but I will murder people in front of them. No issue."

G: You see a vampire sucking blood? Hell nah! You see a guy get blasted open in the middle of this diner? It's fine.

C: "Grow up. Get over it."

G: "It'd be worse if I was a vampire, bro." [C laughs]

They have this bit where Dean is very rude to the waiter. The waiter is also pissed at him. Dean gets his house water and pours it down like, a plant and then fills it up with holy water from his flask. And then he puts the glass like, where Adam is supposed to sit so that Adam can drink it when he shows up. You're gonna give this kid cholera, is what's gonna happen here. [both laugh] You're gonna kill this person with like, amoebiasis or something. [C: Yeah.] Fucking awful thing to do. [C laughs] I was like, half-hoping that when when Adam drinks it, he's like-

C: He spits it out?

G: - "Holy shit. What-" He's like, "What the fuck happened to the tap water here? What the fuck is this?" Yeah, and Dean also takes out a bunch of cutlery that is, I don't know, silver, I suppose.

C: Right, which implies that a shapeshifter upon touching silver, not even being cut on it, would react. So why do they always test themselves with silver knives instead of just like, [G: I know!] tapping the blade with their finger?

G: Also, it's like, a whole thing where, like, they're holding the knife up, being like, "It's silver!" and it's like, [C laughs] well, isn't that already- like, you don't have to be like, "It's silver, and then I'm gonna cut myself with it." Like, what the fuck is this?

C: Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, the whole time, like, I mean the vibe's that Dean's being incredibly intense, and Sam's just like, "Chill out." I think that kind of reaches the-

G: Not "chill out" and more like, he's sad about this.

C: "Let's take a reasoned approach to this"? Sam is sad about this?

G: Yeah. I don't think- I think he is like, aware that Dean is reacting in a way that is out of proportion, but in a way that is like, understanding of the situation and is kind of like, skittering around Dean, you know? [C: Okay.] Like, the way he approaches the conversation is like, "Look, man, I get it. But..."

C: Mm. But yeah, what Dean says is like, "Either way, this thing is going to bleed. I mean, using Dad as bait. That's the last mistake of its short, pitiful life." So yeah. I mean, clearly, he still holds the- I don't know. He like, holds the memory of John as incredibly sacred, but then, at the end, like, it is an insult to say that Sam is like John. Like, that is how he means it.

G: I mean, yeah.

C: Yeah. But I guess one can have complicated relationships with complicated figures in one's life.

G: There is a big difference between like, other people using your relationship with your family against you versus like, you with a person who also went through the same shit going like, "Yeah, that guy's horrible." [laughs] You know?

C: Yeah. Yeah. This is true.

G: Sometimes, I do feel sad that even Sam and Dean, between each other, often can't just admit that to each other. And a big part of it is Dean can't admit it to himself, that like- the way he talks about what happened with their childhoods too, you know? Kind of like, absolving John of it, even. And not even absolving in the "he did the right thing," and just more of like, "yeah, he probably did the wrong thing, but still, it's not like he had any choice." It's crazy. Crazy! Well, we'll get into it later.

It's like, "Look. I think there is some truth to this, because 1990, January, he does say he's heading to Minnesota to check out a case." And then [C laughs], Sam opens to that page, and the next two pages were like, ripped out completely.

C: Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

G: Fun stuff! But why? Because-

C: 'Cause Sam says later, like, "He wasn't exactly a monk," but like, to feel so ashamed of like, having casual sex once that you tear it out of your journal implies that, like, John, was a monk until now?

G: No, but the thing is, this is a binder. [C laughs] This journal is a binder. So like, if he wants to remove those pages, he could. And also, if he just wants to rip it out, he also could do that cleanly, with no mark left behind. So it implies that the tearing out is kind of like, a last minute thing. He didn't have the time or the thought to remove it carefully from the binder, or tear it out and remove all of the remaining pieces.

C: Or he did it in like, an emotional whirlwind. But like, he had to write all that down. Also, 2 pages? He described it for 2 pages?

G: I think what happened here is that when he was giving this journal to Dean or whatever, when he's leaving it behind, he was like, "Okay, let's remove this part." Like, I don't think this is like, immediately after, he's like, writing in his journal, "Oh, what a night!" [C laughs] a la Mama Mia! [C laughs] and then like, tears the pages out, like, right after. I think this is like, years and years and years down the line. [C: Huh.] He's like, "Okay, I need to leave this journal to Dean so he has references." And he's like, "Oh, shit! But I have that one page. Let me tear that out real quick."

C: Okay, that makes sense, I think. But like, why is he also so vague in all of his later trips to Minnesota lines?

G: First of all, isn't it so fascinating that it's like, multiple years of John's life is like- decades, even of John's life is in this journal. And it's just-

C: Well, it's just the hunts.

G: Yeah. But like, it's this short? How many hunts was he going to?

C: Eh, I'm sure he has some kind of a shorthand.

G: That's true, that's true. Isn't there like, a physical, like, publication of John's- that's true, right?

C: Journal? Yeah.

G: I will never read it. Good luck to everyone, though.

C: I will also never read it, but sometimes, I see passages, and I enjoy seeing the passages.

G: Also, I think maybe part of that, as you said, is the "it's just hunts." So he's not gonna go there, be like, "Today, me and Adam went to a baseball game. He's 15 years old now. He's all grown up!" Like, [laughs] he's not gonna do that shit.

C: I feel like the published John's journal is like that, though. [G: I mean, yes.] It's all like, "I'm worried about Sam because he isn't having sex with girls, unlike Dean."

G: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, it's like, "I'm worried about Sam because he's a fucking homo! [both laugh] And he's so weak and small!" And it's like, okay, slay. [C: Yeah.] But like, this journal is obviously not that. [C: Yeah.] I mean, you think Sam is opening the journal and be like, [C laughing] "Wow, Dad thought I was a homo and so weak and fucking small and tiny."

C: Yeah, I mean, I feel- I don't know who wrote the John's journal official Supernatural whatever the fuck, but I don't think that they coordinated with the props team or whatever regarding what would be in it.

G: I don't know. I think that's a reason behind the Minnesota. It's more of like, recording where I was this week instead of like, recording what actually happened in shit.

C: Yeah. Makes sense.

G: Fascinating personality John has. This is also fascinating, just by virtue of the whole, like, realizing that your parents are like, more than your parents. Like, John is Dad, but also, John is John, you know? [C: Yeah.] And yeah, this is what's happening to Sam and Dean right now.

G: Sam is saying, like, "I don't really wanna believe it, but you know, Dad would just be gone for weeks at a time, and he wasn't exactly a monk." And Sam goes, "I mean, a hunter rolls into town, kills a monster, saves the girl. Sometimes, the girl's grateful."

C: Fucked up.

G: Horrible!

C: Like, okay, Sam has not had an encounter like this, right?

G: Similar to this, yeah.

C: Right, 'cause Sarah, Cara, and Madison-

G: And Dean, in a way, has not had also.

C: Dean had that with Jamie.

G: Who the fuck?

C: From "Monster Movie"?

G: Oh, yeah. Did they have sex?

C: After the case ended, yes.

G: Oh, yeah, I forgor. Well-

C: Dean had that with Jamie, and then we have, like, tame versions of that with Haley and Andrea in 1.02 and 1.03 with Dean. Dean does follow that- Okay, Madison. Madison, one could claim that that is that. Because they think she's no longer a werewolf, and then she and Sam sleep together, so it is kind of like a, "Oh, you rescued me." [G: Yeah.] And then, "Let's have sex." So both of them have engaged in this dynamic before.

G: Yeah.

C: Well, it sucks. [laughs]

G: Adam comes in. He's looking around. Adam goes to sit in the chair that Dean has reserved for him. He's asking like, "How do you know my dad?" And Sam’s like, “Yeah, we work together." And Adam's like, "As a mechanic?" And Sam and Dean are like, "Yeah, he died on the job. A car fell on him." [both laughing]

C: Dean comes up with "a car fell on him," but yeah, it's great. [G laughs]

G: Lovely! Absolutely wonderful. They also do this bit where the-

C: Well, okay, a car did fall on him, though.

G: Like, he got hit by a giant truck?

C: He did get hit by a giant truck. Like, [laughing] a car did fall on him.

G: So we do this thing where the waiter earlier, who Dean was rude to and was rude back to Dean knows Adam, and is like, asking him very friendly, like, "Oh, what's your order? The usual? Okay, thanks." And I do think this is like, very interesting, because the way they do this scene is like, they really are tearing down all of the suspicion for Adam, which is, I think, such a wonderful way to do it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, he's just a nice kid, and they all know him.

G: Nice kid. Everybody knows him so like, it must be him 'cause like, if it's not him, how would he know all these people? And also the, you know, obviously, the holy water and the silver. Sam is asking, "When's the last time you saw John?" It's a couple of years back now, and he decided to call John because [dramatically] "He's the only family I got." [C laughs] And yeah, Adam says his mom's missing. Yeah, Sam hears this, and goes, "Oh my god, I'm sorry. For how long?" And Dean's like, "IDGAF. [laughs] If you're John's kid, how come we've never heard of you?" And Adam said, "Yeah, we didn't really know each other, just not until a few years ago." And he starts telling his life story, like, his mom never really talked about John. He just knows that his mom is a nurse, and his dad came into the ER and like, got fixed up in the hospital, but that's all he knows, and they're not exactly a nuclear family. Interesting dynamic, I suppose?

C: True, right. Because it is like, sort of a swap of what Sam assumed happened. [G: Yeah.] Like, she rescued him, or whatever. Like, he was grateful to her.

G: Yeah. And Dean asks like, "Oh, so when did you finally meet him?" And it was when he was 12!

C: What did- Adam says, "We're not exactly a nuclear family," and Sam says, "Yeah, well, who is these days?" What is Sam talking about?

G: [laughing] I don't know.

C: The dissolution of the family?

G: Everybody's getting divorced? Is that what this is about?

C: I don't know. Was this like, a big political talking point in like, 2009? Like, is this a reference to like, some kind of a campaign? Or is Sam just being open-minded? Like, what's the deal?

G: I have no idea.

C: We'll all have no idea forever.

G: He met John, finally, when he was 12. Like, he begged his mom to get one of John's numbers. That's- what a fascinating childhood.

C: So John left his number, it means.

G: Like, maybe Kate does have contact with John.

C: Yeah, like they text?

G: But like, but the way it's implied is like, John didn't know he had a kid until Adam called.

C: Yeah. So John left his number as like, a "If that ghoul ever comes back"? 'Cause I guess it's like, he didn't get all of them, right?

G: Yeah, maybe.

C: 'Cause he only got the dad ghoul. So maybe it was like, "Give me a call if like, case stuff starts happening"?

G: Baby ghouls come to being, yeah. [C: Yeah.] Yeah, maybe it was also just a good lay. [laughs] Like, call me when you want another good lay.

C: True. True. [G: Yeah.] And she didn't, for 12 years, [G laughing] so that says something, I think.

G: Literally. He says when he called, John dropped everything. He raced to town, he drove all night. And, like, Dean is watching all this, and by this point, by the way, he has pulled out a gun. [C: Yeah.] [laughing] Dean has just solidly pulled out a gun.

C: Yeah, under the table, aimed right at that kid.

G: He's so- [laughs] I felt kind of like- like, the entire scene, the moment Dean pulls out that gun, and then every single second he's just like, pointing it more and more at Adam's direction, and like, whatever it is that they do when they pull back that thing. Like, I was like, "Good lord! What the fuck is Dean doing?" But okay, fine. At this point Adam has drank the holy water. Nothing happens. He goes to start eating. He holds the silverware, nothing happens. He's reminiscing. He's saying like, "Oh, yeah, he told me poker and pool, and he bought me my first beer when I was 15. [C: Horrible.] He showed me how to drive." And yeah, "He had this beautiful '67 Impala." And Dean is just like, "Oh, fuck you! Like, let's stop this all at once." But I want to dissect the Adam lines first. [C: Mm-hm.] I think what's supposed to to be the thing here is like, doesn't Dean mention like, drinking beer when he was young? [C: Yeah.] With John? When was that?

C: It would be 15.20, wouldn't it? I'm sure it happens earlier as well, but isn't the beer they drink in Heaven-

G: Oh yeah! He said something about like, "This is the first beer we shared, and it was so bad. It was like, actually terrible." Yeah. [C: Yeah.] And also, when did Dean learn how to drive?

C: Earlier than 16.

G: Definitely.

C: I think so. I don't know.

G: I think I think this is part of the reason why this is what pisses Dean off. 'Cause, especially in the poker and pool part, it's like, we know that Sam and Dean use these like, poker and pool to earn money. We know that 'cause we've seen it. The pool, anyhow. Like, the poker, I think we have- We will see it. Like, Sam does play poker at some point.

C: Also, in "Bugs," doesn't Dean get money from poker? Like, he comes out of the bar at the beginning-

G: No, that's pool.

C: No? Are you sure? Okay.

G: That's pool. That's what I'm saying that like, they earn money using this shit. And so it must hurt to be like, "Oh, the poker and pool, which is like, something that we had to learn or well, I had to learn to sustain myself is something that like, John taught Adam as like, a fun thing." [C: Mm-hm.] Sharing your first beer, I don't know. It's like-

C: Six years below the legal age.

G: Yeah. Wait, what do you mean?

C: Drinking age is 21.

G: I don't think that's bad, though.

C: Yeah, bad.

G: Letting a kid 15 years old drink. You think it's bad?

C: I think it's bad, yeah.

G: Ohh. I think if you do it with parental supervision, I think it's actually better because it's like, if you're gonna drink anyway-

C: Yeah, I think it's better with parental supervision, but I think the- at 15?

G: Yeah.

C: Well, okay, John buys it for Adam, right? So like, [G laughing] that it wasn't like- it doesn't necessarily mean that Adam, like, was like, begging him to like, "I want to like, see what it's like to drink." [G still laughing] Like, I don't know. I feel like I read that "He bought me my first beer when I was 15" as just like, John sprung it on him, and he was like, "Okay, that's a cool thing to do."

G: Uh, you don't drink.

C: That's true.

G: So like, I understand that.

C: I guess I don't want to at age 15.

G: But many people at age 15 are begging to have a drink, yeah.

C: Huh. Interesting.

G: So yeah. And I- something that- [laughs] I sound so like, [fake-teary] "My parents did it, so it's fine!" [laughs] But like, something my parents would do is like, when I drink, they make it so that like, I am drinking in front of them so that they know what I'm drinking and how much. It's better this way than like, have you like, drink somewhere else with other people, who-

C: Yeah, I agree with that.

G: - especially if it's like, your peers and you're all like, fucking 15, and none of you know what your limits are, you know. And so it's better to just do it, like, whatever. At home. [laughs] So this is not actually- this is something that I was like, "Yeah, that's a good, fun dad-kid bonding experience."

C: And I was like, "John's an irresponsible parent and awful for this." [G laughing]

G: Yeah. And then showing how to drive, I suppose, is like, I don't know. I don't know what Dean's driving history is. Poor- yeah, this did make me sad. And you know,  Dean is like, "Yeah, you're lying to me. Be on the lookout." [laughing] Adam goes, "No, I'm not." [C laughs] And Dean just goes, "Yeah, you are." They're so funny. They're already brothers. Like, they're already living the brother life. [C: Mm-hm.] Adam is like, "Who the hell are you to call me a liar?" And this is when Dean reveals that like, "Oh, we're John's children."

C: He goes, "We are his sons!" [both laugh] God, he's so funny.

G: Yeah. And Adam replies to this like, with, "I've got brothers?"

C: He's happy! 'Cause he's a ghoul being so so funny.

G: Yeah, he's pleased by this. And Dean says, "No, you don't have brothers. I don't know if you're whatever you are, but I don't know what game you're playing here." And Dean goes to leave. But Adam says, "I can prove it."

-

C: Yeah. So we go inside his house where his mom died earlier.

G: RIP.

C: Dean is being shown a photo of Adam and John at a baseball game because this was something that they did together for Adam's 14th birthday. Sam crossreferences that in the journal. It's true. Dean goes, [angry] "He took you to a freaking baseball game?" Adam goes like, "Yeah, why? What did Dad do with you on your birthday?"

G: Horrible!

C: And Dean's face just twitches. God! So funny, so funny, so funny!

G: And the thing is, this fucking ghoul knows that John is a hunter and probably knows that he treated his kids poorly or whatever. [laughing] And so he literally is just taunting Dean specifically; it's so funny.

C: It's great. I love it.

G: Yeah. I wuv it, even.

C: Also, every time Adam calls John "Dad," like, it does jumpscare me a little, which is the point, I think. So good on them, for that.

G: [laughing] Does it also just scare you when I call John "Dad"?

C: Yes, of course. [G laughs]

G: Every time I do that, and then, like, I go back to edit or whatever, I also get jumpscared. When I go, "But Dad is blah blah blah," [C laughs] like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

C: Sam is on this. Like, he's ready to accept Adam into like, the family. 'Cause he says, like, "Adam, you said you called Dad because your mom was missing." Which, yeah, I feel like if he was talking to someone else, he'd say "John." Like, he's saying "Dad" in the like, "your dad" way, not in the "my dad" way, it feels like, but also in an [both] "our dad" way.

Yeah, he says, "Adam, you said you called Dad because your mom was missing." And turns out she's been gone for 3 days. She didn't show up to work on Wednesday. And then this is when Dean sees the picture of John and Kate hugging that looks very similar to the photo of John and Mary that was on Sam's nightstand in 1.01. And yeah, she does look like Mary. So [laughs], hm. Adam says that the hospital supervisor called the cops. He drove down here. He feels guilty about not being here. The police weren't able to find anything, but he knows that she wouldn't leave without telling anyone. So they go to her room to check. There's more photos of Kate and John and Adam together. He's looking around, and then Adam asks him, "What else can you tell me about Dad?" And Dean says, "You knew him," and Adam says, "Not as well as you." And Dean says, "Trust me, kid, you don't want to know." Slay! Sam and Dean talk outside for a bit 'cause Sam found some newspapers from 1990 that are about how there were 17 bodies missing from the graveyard, but were recovered from some abandoned shed. So that is probably why John was here because he is in the photograph [G laughing] looking like a creep.

G: Just a menacing form in the back, yeah. [C laughs] I can't believe like, whoever published this newspaper was like, "Yeah, there's this guy like, lurking in the back, looking menacingly at this whole affair." And he is also like, a new person in town. "No, yeah, that's nothing. It's probably nothing."

C: Yeah, "It's probably nothing. I mean, we found the bodies. We don't know who took them. There's this creepy guy. But whatevs."

G: "Yeah, and criminals frequently go back to the scene of the crime and like, looks at investigation and stuff, but who even give a shit?"

C: Who give a shit? They don't know anything about the hunt because those were the pages that John ripped out of the journal, but recently, last month, three bodies disappeared from the local cemetery. So whatever he's hunting may be back. The two living people missing are Kate and a bartender named Joe Barton, who, we find out later, used to be a cop, so like, I'm glad he quit his job.

So Dean comes back in and finds out that Kate did not know Joe Barton. And then he notices that there are scratches on the floor of the bedroom, so they lift up the mattress and see that there is a large vent right under the bed. And then there's a cute little scene where, like, they look at each other and nonverbally decide to start playing rock paper scissors. And Dean loses. Hell yeah. Dean usually loses, right? Because he always picks scissors?

G: Yes, that is a- Isn't there already an episode way back? I think it was like, the one where Dean goes into a thing. I think it's "Bugs," actually. They do rock paper scissors to see who goes into the fucking hole.

C: Doesn't Sam go into the fucking hole, though?

G: Oh, no, that's different. They were supposed to do the rock paper scissors, and in the last minute, Sam goes, "I'll just do it."

C: Aww.

G: But there is one where people-

C: There is one where Sam goes like, "Ha! Scissors. Every time."

G: I think this is such a nice thing to bring up, and with such like, casualness, too.

C: Yeah, no, it's like, "Wow, they are brothers."

G: In an episode where they have a new brother, you know. It's interesting. Like, in the scene I had the thought of, like, "Yeah, like, there is more to family than like, blood. It's about like, you know, growing up together," blah blah blah. And then the other part of my brain got really defensive and was like, "No, but like, Adam really is their brother! [both laugh] Even if they didn't grow up together!" Like, it still does mean something that they had the same father, blah blah blah, whatever.

C: I don't think it does unless they decide it does.

G: Well, of course. But like, to Sam and Dean, I think it does matter that there is this other aspect of John's life that they didn't have access to [C: Yeah.] and now they have access to. And there was this kid that John treated this way in a way that he never treated Sam and Dean. And like, that does mean something.

C: It means something that they're both projecting on him.

G: It doesn't mean that it automatically makes them family in the way that Supernatural tries do the family bit but fails so severely. I just mean that it means something.

C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, they both have complicated feelings around Adam because of what he represents about themselves to them. [G: Yeah.] Though, I mean, I do think that Sam is pretty fast willing to like, welcome Adam in as like, a member of the family or whatevs.

G: Yeah.

C: Dean loses the rock paper scissors. He's upset, but he goes inside of the air vent. At the end, he sees a lot of blood and then, like, bits of like, flesh and bone and stuff.

G: Hair and scalp. Yea.

C: Yup. RIP.

-

G: We go to Sam and Dean's motel room, and it's just the two of them. Dean is cleaning a weapon or whatever. [laughing] And there is this really funny post-

C: - post about "Mystery Spot"?

G: [laughing] Yeah.

C: We've all seen it.

G: Yeah, I've seen it. Do you think-

C: You reblogged it.

G: Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean everybody has seen it-

C: And I didn't reblog it because I didn't like it. [G laughing]

G: But I thought it was the funniest shit. The post is like, "Oh, people were attacking me when I said Dean cleans all of the guns, and Samgirls were like, 'Hey, Sam also cleans guns!' [laughs] And the only picture they would send is from 'Mystery Spot' when Dean was dead." So fucking funny. Well, Dean does clean the guns. Like, that is his job.

C: I'm sure that Sam also cleans the guns.

G: [laughs] They need to have gun cleaning equality?

C: Yeah.

G: Exactly. Well, Adam comes into the motel room, and he is asking Sam and Dean like, "Who the hell are you guys?" And Sam is trying to do the like, "Calm down," like, taming- like, calming down a horse kind of voice. And Dean is just straight up not talking. Adam is saying like, "Oh, my house is a crime scene. My mom's probably dead. And you told me to call the cops, but also that you need to go [laughing] before the cops show up."

C: If he had looked them up- I mean, this is a ghoul, so it doesn't matter. If this is real Adam, and he had looked them up like, he'd be out of here.

G: I mean, even John Winchester. If you look "John Winchester" up.

C: Yeah, it's like, "father of serial killers Sam and Dean Winchester."

G: And he said, like, "I also heard you talking about stuff earlier. What really is going on?" And Sam just goes, "We're hunters." And Dean is shouting at him to like, stop talking, and Sam goes, "He deserves to know, Dean!" They explain it to him. Adam just goes, "So like, so every like, monster movie is real? Every nightmare?" And Dean goes, "Godzilla's just a movie." He wished it was real. Dean literally wishes Godzilla was real. But yeah.

C: Are we calling him a monsterfucker? What's happening?

G: [laughing] No!

C: What- what does he want?

G: I just think he would think like, a Godzilla is cool the same way he was like, "Oh my god! Vampires! We could kill a vampire, that's so cool," you know?

C: You mean zombies?

G: Was that about zombies?

C: Yeah.

G: Wasn't he also like that with the vampires?

C: Maybe.

G: Well, whatever. Whenever they have a cool monster to hunt, Dean is like, "Ah, this monster is so cool. I can't wait to kill it." [C laughs] And I feel like he would feel the same way about Godzilla. [laughs]

C: Yeah. Dean Winchester is a deeply strange individual.

G: I think you're the one that pointed out that like, "Wait, but he really likes the idea of this monster. Why does he want to kill it?" And it's like, the thing that he really likes is the idea of killing it. That's why.

C: Yeah.

G: Adam just goes like, "Okay." And Dean is in disbelief. Okay, here's the part where we bring up yet again, like, this point, why did he need to hide it from Adam?

C: That they're hunters?

G: Yeah, and that all the shit is real. Because, like, [both] Adam's mom is dead.

C: - from this, so like, this is the point during the hunt, when they often tell- Well, they don't tell everybody.

G: They don't tell everybody, but like-

C: Plenty of people whose families die, they don't tell them what happened.

G: Yeah, but a lot of those people is like, "The monster has been dealt with, and probably like, won't attack again or whatever." This monster is on the loose, and they're just fucking leaving this town. Because that's what they're doing right now. They're leaving this town.

C: Wait, they are?

G: Yeah, they're packing to leave.

C: Oh. They are?

G: Because the cops are gonna show up.

C: Well, no, I just thought they- well, they told Adam to call the cops to his house, so they're leaving the house so that they're not at the house when the cops showed up. I didn't think they were leaving permanently.

G: Okay. Well, I just still think it's like, so odd that they just won't tell Adam when Adam is like, in direct line of danger.

C: Well, I mean, Dean has his whole thing later where he's like, "John specifically wanted Adam to not know about monsters." So keeping that is more important than his safety.

G: There's a difference between becoming a mon- [C laughs] like, knowing about- [laughs] Well, there's a difference bdetween that too. But there's a difference between knowing about monsters and being a hunter, and like, I think Dean's argument is more on "Dad didn't want Adam to have this life of a hunter." But wasn't he also like, "Dad lied to him about his job so that he wouldn't even know about monsters in the first place." Isn't that like, part of it? I think that- I don't know. Is Dean sort of under the impression that, like, anyone who is like, worth a damn, as soon as they know about monsters, they will become a hunter? Isn't that why he hates- It's why he hates Bela so much, that she knows about monsters, but like, she isn't a hunter. She like, has this other job that hurts people.

G: Yeah, but I think that's more of like, taking advantage of the stuff you know about the occult and the etc and the supernatural and using that to earn money to the expense of the people who could be helped by those knowledge. [C: Sure.] But like, for example, Adam is like, "Okay, I'm gonna become a doctor because I'm in premed already" and then becomes a doctor. And is just like, a fucking doctor. You don't have to be a hunter to help people.

C: But like, does Dean know that?

G: We can't all just be fucking hunters, Dean Winchester. I'm assuming he knows that.

C: Okay. I just think he has this weird thing.

G: Do you think he would think that? That like, he's better than other people because of his job?

C: Yes.

G: Why?

C: Because he's a dick and I don't like him? I don't know. [both laugh]

G: I think Dean may have a more expansive definition of hunters than what I am thinking of it. 'Cause like, for Dean, it's like, "Oh, if you know about the supernatural and you're doing something in some way to help with accordance to that knowledge, then you're a hunter automatically." So maybe if Adam was like, a doctor who is helping people who are, like, you know, affected by monsters and stuff, like, to him, that's still a hunter, 'cause he knows about the supernatural. [C: Sure, yeah.] Like, a lot of times, Bobby doesn't do the type of shit Sam and Dean does. He mostly is on the back end doing research.

C: He also does do field work.

G: Yeah. But like, most of the time, he's like, doing the FBI whatever whatever.

C: Yeah, Dean considers Bobby to be a hunter. I mean, I wonder consider Bobby to be a hunter.

G: Yeah, he considers Bobby a hunter. I would, too. But like, is Rufus a hunter? Like, Rufus is specifically not doing the hunting shit anymore.

C: Rufus is an ex-hunter.

G: Rufus is an ex-hunter, but Dean would still consider him a current hunter because of his knowledge and because he's using that knowledge in some way to help by providing information and providing materials. I don't know. Garth, is, well, one, a werewolf. Two, a dentist. But, like, Dean, also considers him a hunter, even if he's not doing the hunter job specifically, just because of the knowledge. And I think I could go on and on. Jody's a cop. [laughs] And Dean thinks she's a hunter due to the knowledge.

C: Well, these people do an occasional hunt on the side, if something in their area seems up, right? So like, that's what makes them a hunter to Dean? That they sometimes do field work. That they're like, willing to do field work if necessary?

G: Yeah. But like, Dean's complaint is like, "We can't let Adam have the life we live." But the thing is, just because you're a hunter- well, just because you know about the supernatural doesn't mean you have to be a hunter, and just because you're a hunter doesn't mean you need to live the way Sam and Dean does. Bobby has a house! Jody has a house. Garth has a house, you know?

C: Okay, well, Garth and Jody come later.

G: Very much later.

C: Wait, what are we discussing right now?

G: Like, Dean's perspective of what a hunter's life is is like, [laughs] not representative of all hunters. #NotAllHunters. I don't know. And so like, Dean's arguments of like, "We can't let Adam know about this because it automatically means that if he knows about the supernatural, then he's automatically a hunter, and if he's a hunter, then he's gonna have the same life we do, and Dad specifically doesn't want him to have the life that we do." And it's like, that's not an automatic. Like, just because he knows about the supernatural doesn't mean that he's gonna become a hunter, and just because he's a hunter doesn't mean that he's going to live the life the way you do [C: Yeah.] and doesn't mean that he's gonna hunt the way you do and doesn't mean that he won't have another job that he also does.

C: Yeah. That's true. But according to Sam, he can't have any friends.

G: [laughing] According to Sam, it's a life. [C laughs] He's so funny. I was half expecting him to say like, "It's not a job. It's a calling." And I was like, "He should have been a priest. He literally should have been, probably." Sam would live such a fantastic life if he was a priest/hunter. [C: Hm. Yeah.] I think he would have a slaycation moment.

C: Probably. But okay, yeah, okay. So you're just saying that Dean's logic here, in trying to hide what hunting is from Adam is faulty. I agree.

G: [laughs] Thank you. After 20 minutes of discussion. I literally need to stop.

C: I thought that we were discussing- 'cause, I said, what? I said because that like, it's because Dean thinks that it means that, like, Adam would be a hunter. And then you were like, "I don't think that that's what Dean thinks." So then, when it became a different topic of discussion, I got confused.

G: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just like, definition of terms is where Dean and I disagree. [C: Okay.] Like, Dean whatever whatever. Yeah.

At some point, Dean goes like, "Oh, you're supposed to say we're liars, we're crazy. Nobody just says, 'Okay.'" And Adam [laughing], who is a ghoul, [C laughing] like, I want to point out that this is not Adam Adam, he goes, "Well, you're my brothers. You're telling me the truth, right? [C laughing] Then, I believe you." And it's like, he's so funny! [C: He really is.] He's so funny. Absolutely hilarious.

Sam talks about like, what fucking thing got his mom, and that they haven't figured it out yet, and Adam asks if maybe she's still alive, and they say, "No, probably." No, they actually don't say anything. Which we've talked about this, how annoying it is that like, when you're breaking news, like, they just do not say shit. Adam says that he wants in. Yeah, Dean says no, and like, Sam goes, "Dean, he lost his mother. Maybe we can understand what that feels like." And Dean makes the case, as you said, that like, "Oh, John was protecting this kid. He didn't want Adam to have our lives, and we are gonna respect his wishes."

C: He says, "Why do you think he ripped out the pages?" as a part of this. [G: Yeah.] Okay, is that in fitting with your like, "He ripped it out before he gave it to Dean theory." Like, does Dean think "He tried to hide this kid from us so that we couldn't pull him into our lives." Like, what does that mean?

G: Yeah, probably.

C: Huh. Interesting stuff. So Dean thinks that John thinks that Sam and Dean would come and force this kid to be a hunter?

G: Not really, but like, it's a connection. And like, for example, if John was missing and John was gone for a long time, and John, like, knew he was gonna be gone for a long time because he was ominous as hell about it. And so maybe he's thinking, "Oh, if Dean like, scours this journal and finds this one piece and goes like, 'What if Dad had a kid from that time?' and goes to that place and finds out about, you know." And it's like, because he's looking for John.

C: Yeah, so Adam gets caught in the "Oh, I need to find my dad too" blah blah blah thing. Sure.

G: Dean just goes around the United States finding potential John kids [C laughs] and going, "Hey, I know your dad. And also, he's missing. Help me find him."

C: I mean, society if Sam said no that first time so then Dean was just going around like, rustling all the Adams of the world up.

G: Adam asks like, "Do I get a say in this?" And Sam and Dean both say no at the same time, but like, Dean being like, shout-y, and Sam's like, defeated like, "No." And Dean storms out, and Adam goes, "Is he always like that?" And Sam goes, "Welcome to the family." And then he goes to teach Adam how to handle a gun. I do wanna say something about the whole like- Adam probably never had an angry John around [C: Yeah.] because John was just never around and was never in any situation where he is to be angry in that way around Adam.

C: Though, like, have you ever had your dad try to teach you something? [laughs] You get yelled at, no matter what.

G: I don't know.

C: I'm sure, during the pool- I don't think John is that patient of a guy. John shouts at people. I don't think he has the patience to teach Adam poker and pool, [laughs] but I also think that the ghoul fully made that up, so. [G laughing]

G: Well, I don't think the ghoul made up the baseball.

C: The baseball game is real, but I'm remembering that when they bring Adam back to lif, and they're like, "Please do this because of our shared connection to John," he says, "I did not know that guy like that." [laughs]

G: Yeah, and he said, right, like, "I'm not a Winchester. I'm a Milligan." Which is so cool! I love that guy. Or did he say that? Or did he say that in my head in my fanfiction dreams?

C: He probably said that in real life.

G: Okay. Good. In real life, AKA Supernatural.

C: Yeah. So like, I think that this ghoul could have fully made up the pool and the poker. [G laughs] Or it was probably just like, John tried to teach him and then got frustrated like, after five minutes and then gave up.

When, like, specifically, the Sam and Adam conversation at the end is like, Sam decides to start teaching Adam how to shoot, and Adam goes, "Dean said," [laughs] which means that he's already doing the like, "I think Dean is the boss of this family" thing. F. Dean's energy really is that rancid. Sam has his whole like, [dramatically] "I know what Dean said, but I also know what it's like to want revenge," etc etc. Like, he really is just projecting all over this guy. Good for him.

-

C: In the cemetery, Dean's disguised as an FBI person, asking around about the missing bodies. And he's being given a tour by the cemetery director. The cemetery director, like, is sort of creepy. Like, I thought he was gonna turn on Dean at some point. [G: Yeah.] But like, no, he's just like this. Like, he asks, "Tell me, Agent Nugent. Have you thought about where you might like to spend eternity?" And it literally is just him trying to sell a cemetery plot. [laughs] It is not a threat or anything.

G: Iconic.

C: Yeah. This is a true professional.

G: Yeah, [laughing] this is not a job. It's a life. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. And Dean notices that one of the areas where a body was stolen, there's this liquid that's spilled that is not blood, it's embalming fluid. Which means that whoever took the corpses also opened them up. Dean's next recon is that he goes to the bar where Joe Barton worked, and there's a bartender there who says that the first beer is free for cops and Feds. Boo. Dean asks her about Joe Barton, and she introduces herself as his wife. Dean finds out during this conversation that Joe Barton was a cop briefly, a long time ago, and he was involved in the grave robbery case that happened in 1990. He was supposedly the one who found the bodies. And apparently, like, the version of the story he told his wife was that he had "a little help from a specialist." "'And even though they never found who stole the bodies,' Joe said, 'we took care of what done it.'"

G: Crazy.

C: Yeah. Men love to be ominous and not tell their wives things.

G: The way this is delivered is she's like- it doesn't feel like a-

C: It feels like a "We found who it was, and we killed them." [laughs]

G: No, no, no, I mean, like, the way she delivers this doesn't feel like, you know, she is talking about a story that her missing husband told her. It's like, "Oh, I heard- I overheard." You know. Like, that's the vibe of the conversation, [C: That's true.] which does make it like, disconcerting to me, because it's like-

C: Yeah, she should be worried.

G: Like, if my significant other like, comes home- Well, first of all, I'm never gonna be involved with a cop in this way. [C laughs] But like, if somebody comes home and is like, "Oh, yeah, there was this really, really rough thing that happened. But don't worry. We took care of what done it." I'll be like, "That is absolutely fucking terrifying. What are you talking about?" [C: Yeah.] And I wouldn't be telling it to- well, strangers. I mean, I guess she thinks this is a Fed who's investigating the case. Well, I wouldn't be telling it to people in like, "Haha! Isn't it so funny that he said that?" I'll be like, "What if my husband is a fucking serial killer?" [C: Yeah.] Like, "What if he did it?" I don't know.

-

C: Hey. Hey. Guess what Sam's doing in this scene?

G: Ahh! But he's teaching someone to do it? [laughing]

C: Guess what Sam is doing in this scene, Grey, and also whoever posted that fucking Tumblr post. [G laughing] I wonder what action- Okay, you have 2 guesses, but it rhymes with "means a motgun." [G laughing] [laughs] Sam's cleaning a gun. So Sam and Adam are talking while Sam, again, is cleaning a gun. [both laughing]

G: [laughing] Well, it's not their fault! Like, it's not that Tumblr user's fault, because it's like, they just said, like, "Dean is always cleaning the gun," and everyone was like, "No, Sam's cleaning the guns, too. Here's a 'Mystery Spot'-" like, it's your duty as a Samgirl to know your Sam lore! [laughing]

C: Well. I think that probably that person picked and chose. [G laughing] I think that there was cherry picking in that academic paper. I think that peer review should have caught it

G: Exactly, and Supernatural, above all else, is an academic endeavor.

C: Yes. [laughing] Oh, to clarify, I'm not actually mad at whoever posted that. But yeah.

So Adam asks Sam how John really died. Every time I say "John" in this episode, they are saying "Dad," just so you know, but I refuse to say that.

G: And I will say it forever and ever.

C: Sam says it was a demon. Adam asks, "Did you hunt it down? Did you get revenge?" And Sam says, "Dean killed it." So Adam says, "So it's over for you." And Sam looks at Adam dramatically and goes, "It's never over." [laughs]

G: "It's never over." That's literally a Katy Perry. [laughs]

C: I mean, like, this life isn't over for him because, like, there's the fucking Apocalypse. But like, does he view anything he's doing right now is like, getting revenge for Mary or for John? What does that mean?

G: For Jess? I don't know.

C: For Jess, too?

G: I guess at this point, it's like, getting revenge for Dean, but he's not acting that way about it.

C: Yeah.

G: And I suppose that's the point. The point is that getting revenge is not really about the person you're getting revenge for. It's about yourself!

C: Mm-hm.

G: And Sam's not there yet though, so. [laughs]

C: The lights go out, and then there's sounds about. Sam, like, he gets his gun, and he just swings it about wildly. Like, I don't know. He's making very fast, jerking motions with it. He looked silly.

G: He looks so funny in this scene. It's so goofy. It's so silly looking. I don't know what it is. [C: Yeah.] Because Sam has done this thing like, multiple times before, but this is the only one where I'm like, "Oh, that's Jared acting in there."

C: Yeah, this is noticeably weird. Are they trying to show that he's more nervous than usual, because he's like, protecting someone who he's decided to care about very quickly?

G: I don't know. Did he not care about literally anyone else?

C: Supernatural puts a lot of emphasis on family, [G: Booo!] and he's very used to hunting with Dean already, [G: Yeah. I suppose so.] so he would trust that Dean can hold his own in a situation like this, but Adam is-

G: Pamela!

C: Yeah.

G: Was he this nervous with Pamela? Or I guess that was more like, the danger was already there, so it's not like, looking out for danger.

C: She already got stabbed. So there's a vent near the ceiling that Sam thinks that the monster is in. They run out of the motel to Adam's car. Sam's about to get in the car. He like, makes Adam give him the keys, and while he's approaching the car-

G: Why, even?

C: I don't know. Like, he just doesn't trust Adam's driving? Like, you don't know this car, Sam. All you've driven is the like, fucking Impala and that one rental car that one time.

G: Yeah. And also like, this is a much bigger car than either of those, and the size of the car does affect how you drive it. So like, whatever whatever. Also, I'm not sure that's true. I heard it from literally everybody else in my life who drives because I don't drive.

C: I think that's true. But as Sam approaches the car, something underneath it grabs his yankle- [laughs] grabs his ankle. Okay, while Sam app-

G: Grabs his yankle!

C: While Sam approaches the car-

G: Sorry, sorry. [both laughing]

C: You're preventing me from- [G laughing] this is to prevent me from being able to resay it so that you edit it to make it sound like I said it right the whole time. [both laughing] You're trying to force "grabs his yankle" into the podcast so everyone knows that I said that. [G laughing]

G: For real. Well, he does grab his yankle! [both laughing]

C: Fine. You know what? At this point, it's too late. [both laughing] He grabs his fucking yankle.

G: Well, I suppose the whole bit with the exchanging keys more of like, making sure that like, Sam's the one who gets grabbed and not Adam.

C: Yeah, that is what it is.

G: 'Cause like, obviously, the person's gonna grab the person who's like, entering the seat. It's just so contrived the way they get there.

C: Sam gets pulled under the car, but he manages to keep himself upright overall. Dean comes running back as well, so he and Adam both pull Sam free. When they move the truck, it is shown that there was a sewer grate that is open underneath, so that's where the monster came out of. They discuss a little bit about the attack that just happened. They will not be able to find the monster in the sewers. Sam and Dean figure out that who it's been going after are Joe Barton, Kate Milligan, and this was a trap for Adam. Which means that the monster is going after people who are related to John, and like, the time that he did a case in this town. Dean goes, "At least we know why it's back," and Adam goes, "It wants revenge." Soo true, ghoul guy! Love you.

G: I know! I mean, I find- like, most of the back end of that conversation between Sam and Dean is actually like, seen with Adam in front. Like, Adam, is like, in profile, while Sam and Dean are talking about this. And it's just- I'm thinking about this from like, the ghoul's perspective, right? Of like, Sam and did are doing all this, saying all this. And like, they're finally figuring out why all of this is happening. [C: Yeah.] And it's like-

C: "Ha ha!"

G: Yeah, it wants revenge.

C: Yeah. He's like, telling Sam and Dean, "Oh, I'm doing this for revenge for my mom." And it is him doing revenge for his dad.

G: For his dad. Wonderful!

-

G: We go back to the mom's house, right? They do this thing where they let Adam just go upstairs by himself. [C: Mm.] Stupid move! Why are you doing this? Like, we just established that the ghoul is out to get him. [C: I don’t know.] Why are you leaving him alone at any given opportunity? But Dean is saying that, “Oh, Adam needs to pack up so they can hit the road,” and Sam is just like, “No, we shouldn't.” And also, he's in the kitchen, he’s seated down and he’s propping up his foot up on the other seat, and at this moment I didn't realize that he was doing it because he's injured. So I was just like, “Oh, he's making himself feel at home,” and I was like, “Go, Sam!”

C: [laughs] Go Sam. 

G: Dean is saying that they need to drop the kid off at Bobby’s, yeah, and then Sam and Dean are gonna kill this, whatever this thing is. I do find it interesting that Dean calls the kid ‘the kid’ here.

C: Yeah.

G: I think I've been doing it much of this episode also.

C: Yeah, I’ve also been calling him ‘the kid’. I mean, he's a college student so he feels like a kid.

G: He is. Sam is just there lounging around going, “Well, we got no leads, no anything. And what we do have is what this thing wants.” And Dean is like, “Oh, you want to use the kid as bait? That's why you want to stay here?” and gets, you know, upset about it, he could die, Sam’s like, “No, but we can train Adam, blah blah blah, and we could all die, and even if we–” [laughs] Sam is so funny, honestly. “What if the kid dies? Well, we’re all gonna die anyway.” [C laughs] Like, so true.

C: Yeah. He listened to “Memento Mori” recently, and he was like, “That's a great point, Will Wood.”

G: [laughs] He was like, “Thanks, Will Wood.”

C: But I mean, I guess the point is that with the Apocalypse upcoming he's not really betting on longevity for anybody. So he's more willing to do this. Okay, also, didn't Dean ask a literal ten year old to be bait in “Something Wicked” 1.18? Didn’t that happen? [G: Yes.] Yeah. 

G: Yes, but to be fair to that one, I think it is different when it’s like, if we get rid of this we can save your brother or whatever–is that true? Or is that not true? Is that a lie? Am I lying?

C: Yeah, true, his brother's sick in the hospital. 

G: It's different when it's to save a life versus [C: Just to kill the ghoul.] when it's like, you are the target. Yeah.

C: Because, as far as we know, she doesn't want anything other than just to get Adam, and then go back to sleep?

G: Yeah, I don't know, I suppose. 

C: Though I mean, they still don't know who it is, and they still aren’t sure–I guess they still don't know for sure that the ghoul would stop killing afterwards.

G: You know what I thought of when you said that is that Dean was used as bait in “Something Wicked,” when they were kids. That's what I thought you were talking about.

C: Oh, no.

G: You do GAF about that. [laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, Sam was bait mostly. [G: Sam was bait.] Dean was there to kill the shtriga, Sam was the bait.

G: Yeah. In this scene, Sam is basically being like, Adam can both be the Sam and the Dean, he could be the bait and he can also kill the thing, good for him honestly. And of course it's different. Because Sam and Dean were small children. [C: Yeah.] Versus Adam now, who is, you know, a 20 year old minor, or whatever. 

C: [laughs] I mean, I still think it's not a great suggestion, because yeah, like we said, if we're pretty sure that the ghoul only wants to kill Adam, then just get Adam out of here and call it a day. It’s a revenge-driven thing only, I guess, is the point, which is why it feels worse than the shtriga in “Something Wicked.”

G: I mean, the thing about Sam and Dean is every single time there's something else, someone else on screen it’s a projection material [C: Mm.] and in that episode, it was Dean projecting to the kid the part of him that wanted to take care of Sam.

C: Yeah, like, “I couldn't save Sam back then, so now let's–once this kid is used as bait, he'll be so happy that he helped save his brother.”

G: Yeah, and here, the thing that Dean is projecting is his desire to not have had gone through all that shit, you know. [C: Uh huh.] If we're looking at it from like, what are Sam and Dean's moral stances in these situations? And it's like, they're deriving from their own experiences and from different facets of those experiences. And that's why this is how it is. 

C: Right. What is Sam projecting specifically here? I mean, he is on his “Dad was right” kick right now. 

G: Revenge. [C: Yeah.] The revenge is the big one, I feel like. 

C: Yeah, yeah, Adam should have a chance to kill the thing that killed his mom. [G: Yeah.] ‘Cause Sam didn't get to kill Azazel, and then Dean got the nod of approval from John, who completely walked past Sam and then went to Heaven. [C and G laugh] So. God, that is still so funny!

G: Every time we bring that up we just go, “What the fuck were they doing? Seriously, what the fuck was that?”

C: And they still tried to claim that Kevin couldn’t go to Heaven!

G: And the thing is, I don't know if I said this in the podcast or maybe I said a completely different thing, but that was one of those things where you just forget it happens [C: Yeah.] and so every time it happens, you’re completely shocked to your core [C laughs] like, “What the fuck is this? I completely forgot about this,” and you forget it because it’s so stupid. [C: Yeah.] But now I remember it because it’s so stupid. 

C: Funny as fuck, though. Yeah, 'cause I feel like every time people are mad about the Kevin thing, they're like, “That's not true, because John's mentioned to be in Heaven in the finale.” And it's like, well, that's not true, because John in Season 2 went to fucking Heaven. One forgets. 

G: Yeah. But yeah, because you can make the argument that, “In Season 15, they already change the Heaven deal so now Kevin can go to Heaven,” you know, stuff like that, but no, in Season 2, they did it. So did something change between Season 2 and the beginning of Season 15?

C: Maybe so, maybe so.

G: I don’t know, maybe so. Perhaps. Perchance, even.

-

G: Sam keeps on going. He says, “Even if we do kill this thing, there are tons of other freaks that want revenge on Dad and on us. [C: He says ‘freaks’.] So what if they find the kid instead? And he's not ready?” And so his point here is like, I suppose we just have to prepare him because he already is in the life, no matter what. [C: Yeah.] The argument that we can't bring him into the life doesn't work, when, whether we bring him in or not, he's already in.

C: Yeah. Okay. So about the use of the word ‘freaks’, obviously [G: Freaks! Yeah.] that's a very charged word for Sam. 

G: Yeah, he's a sick bitch. 

C: I mean, he likes freak sex.[laughs]

G: [laughs] I mean, other than that, he also does say stuff about being a freak and et cetera.

C: Yeah. Doesn't he go–isn't that what causes him to break in “After School Special”? [G: “A whole new level of freak!”] Yeah, no, but also, isn't that what causes him to beat up Dirk so hard, is being called a freak? Does he also punch Dean at some point because he gets called a freak by him? Freak in Supernatural is used as a substitution slur for something. So the fact that Sam is saying it now–I think part of it is just that he's trying to distance himself from monsterhood really hard. And part of that means cosplaying the big, strong hunter like John, like Dean sometimes when he's pretending. So that's part of that word choice. It is interesting that he's like–'cause what I thought “Well, we could all die” is about is, well, the Apocalypse is happening. But no, he's like, “Specifically, there are things that want to kill us. And John, who is already dead.” When was the last time anyone wanted revenge on Sam and Dean? 

G: Meg. But that's a different thing I feel. 

C: That's true. But that was in Season 2.

G: Yeah. Who is getting revenge on Sam and Dean? I don't know. [C: Yeah.] I mean, Jenny, but that’s later. [C laughs] Jenny is a later revenge. So it was true, somebody was coming to get on them for revenge reasons. [C: Yeah.] Sam was right!

C: God, that's so funny, it’s so funny that they did that. 

G: And the fact that it’s like, “Hey, Jenny,” like we’re supposed to know who the fuck that is, when they never mentioned that name in the episode she was in. Like, okay, slay. 

C: [laughs] It’s great. 

G: Supernatural’s so unserious.

C: Yeah. So okay, so part of the projecting is that Sam wishes that he could have revenge more than he does. And also, “What if they find the kid instead, and he's not ready.” Is that something that Sam's just saying, or is that a strong belief that he holds?

G: I think he does not GAF about this. He's just saying shit.

C: Yeah, 'cause I guess there is something to be said about like, Jessica died because he thought that he was safe, but Azazel found him anyway. [G: Yeah.] He'd let his guard down and all that shit by that point. Adam is currently in college studying premed, so I think that he could definitely be projecting a lot of his Stanford self onto Adam, and finding his Stanford self weak and lacking in the current mindset he's in. Yeah, I don't know. They really do not mention Jess in this show. Isn't there a scene in Season 12 or some shit where Sam’s like, “And I still think about Jessica every day,” and it's like, well, that's nice. I wish this was shown in any way.

G: Does he say that in Season 12?

C: I don’t know, there's a later season thing where he does say that he still thinks about Jess a lot

G: And he does–I think that's true, and I think he does say ‘Jessica.’ [C: Oh.] Which is like, I don't know. 

C: That's different. That's not the person he knew. That's just the event.

G: I think it's also just like, when you're talking to someone who didn't know her, it's easier to use the more formal names. blah blah blah. [C: Sure.] But I don't know. Maybe I'm completely lying. Maybe this is just completely untrue.

C: Well, we'll find out in five years or some shit.

G: As Sam's saying all this shit, Adam comes in, and he goes, “I'll do it, whatever it takes, I'll do it. I want to do it.” [C: Slay.] And Sam does have a look. I mean, I suppose it is a bit shameful to be heard saying [C: Yeah, exactly.] “I want to use you as bait.” Yeah, but he's not too ashamed.

C:  Sam teaches Adam how to shoot outside. he's spray painted a target on a No Trespassing sign. Which is, yeah, Sam should have an Instagram, I think. He does a good job with his three shots, and then Adam has a go, and he does a pretty good job. All of them hit the sign [G: Hell yeah.] and two of them are inside the inside circle and everything. Meanwhile Dean is standing several long feet away, shaking his head disapprovingly at all of this. Sam's clapping Adam on the back and complimenting him and everything. I guess Sam's never really gotten to teach anyone anything, so now that he has a younger brother, it's nice.

G: I think I've said this before in the podcast but there is something to say about how Sam, when you see him outside of the Sam and Dean dynamic, is a leader type. He likes to teach, he likes to impart knowledge in this way, when the Season 13 bit happens he was the leader of that whole gang. But when he is with Dean, which, he is most of the time just with Dean, he becomes the smaller person, the little brother, the one who follows orders, and the one who, if he is to not follow orders, it needs to be a whole thing instead of just something that he does. I think for Sam there is some gratification in having someone look up to you in this way and be able to teach them in this way. He can't flex his leadership skills, he can flex his big brother skills.

C: Happy for him.

G: Happy for him. Sorry he's a ghoul.

C: [laughs] Yeah, no, when at the end Sam was like, “Why don't we ask Cas to bring him back?” He was just like, “I really wanna teach someone shooting again.” 

G: He was like, “I thought I was out of having to deal with Dean by myself this whole time. [C laughs] Now I'm going to–” This is so miserable. He was really looking forward to having Adam in the backseat.

C: Yeah, truly.

-

C: Inside of the Milligan house, Sam's doing some reading and also telling Adam stories about hunts and things, and Adam's so impressed at like, “Oh, you used a homemade flamethrower?” And Sam's like, “Yeah, they're easy to build. I'll show you,” he is thriving. He's having a good time, and then he starts being such a guy. [C and G laugh] Adam goes, “That is some job that you got, man,” and Sam goes, “Being a hunter isn't a job, Adam. It's life.” Not even “it’s a life,” just “it’s life,” like, “ball is life” levels of sentence here.

G: [laughs] He literally says “ball is life” for hunting. 

C: Yeah. And he goes, “You're premed, you got a girlfriend, friends,” and Adam nods, and Sam goes, “Not anymore you don't.” [C and G laugh]

G: Sam said “Break up with your girlfriend. We're going hunting.” 

C: God. [G: He’s so funny.] Adam agrees to be bait on one case. Are we really here?

G: It’s crazy, because it's not like–I don't think Adam is like, “I'm going to become a hunter forever and ever.” He's just like, “I want to do this thing.”

C: “This thing killed my mom. So I wanna be in on this.” And Sam’s like, “Okay, well, quit school. Break up with your girlfriend. Let's go.”

G: Sam says, “That's the price we pay,” and I keep on thinking, “But like, for what?��� [C laughs] Like what do you buy?

C: Like, a miserable life? The [both] satisfaction of saving people.

G: But I don't know, is it worth it? The price you pay. [laughs]

C: Wow. Are you really so arrogant to think your life above the six billion other people on this planet, or whatever the fuck Lilith said? [G laughs]

G: And Sam literally was like, “Yes.” God, because again, they do not acknowledge "It's a Terrible Life" like it's an episode that ever happened. And in that episode, Sam, without all of the burden of knowing what hunting is like, without knowing all of the whatever whatever, still wants to do it, you know? Even without the context of his childhood, anything, he wants to do it. I don't know. I feel like this is such a, if Sam thinks of it in that way, I don't know. Again, we're asking, what's the price to pay for what? And Sam answers it in that episode, kind of, like, “Oh, we can do this because it's adrenaline, blah blah blah,” but also it’s something that he was built to do, something he was made to do.

C: And also so that they could help people a lot, is something he mentioned also.

G: Yeah. And it's just like. I don't know, for Sam it's like, “Yeah, that's the price you pay because you feel like it's the thing that you're supposed to be doing.” But do you think that kind of argument works for someone like Adam, you know? Adam wasn't raised into this. Adam doesn't have the proclivity to it, or whatever.

C: Sam’s current era is fairly biodeterministic, I think. [G: Yeah. Yeah.] So it could just be like, “You’re John's child, you’re a Winchester, and therefore-”

G: Yeah, but they also know that Mary is a hunter, and they know for a fact that Mary came from a hunter family, and they know - well, not for a fact, but, like, Dean thinks John didn't come from a hunter family, and in a way, John really did not come from a hunter family, because his dad was not a hunter, he's a Man of Letters, and also, he was not raised by his dad. [C: Yeah.] So I don't know. I feel like this conversation is just- it would have gone differently if Sam remembered that shit. But what the fuck.

C: Yeah, well, what Sam says after "Not anymore, you don't" is, [dramatically] "If you're really gonna do this, you can't have those kinds of connections, ever. They're weaknesses. You'll just put those people in danger. Get them killed." Which, I mean, I guess is why I think of Jess. Like, "You're in college. Do you have a girlfriend? Well, you're gonna get her killed." God, he's being so dramatic, though. Only a ghoul would sit and nod along to this shit. But like, Sam's just like, so far into whatever he's far into that like, he's not realizing.

G: Like, if this is really Adam, Adam would have said, "Dude. Unclench." [C laughs] And Sam would be like, "Oh, okay. What? Okay!"

C: Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, Sam has the "price we pay" line. And he says, "There's only one thing you can count on. Family."

G: Horrible.

C: Right, and this is all very laughable. But then, like, Dean pulls Sam aside and goes-

G: [gasps] Okay, we're here.

C: - like, "Hey, what the fuck was that about? Dad gave you that exact same speech, remember? It was just before you ditched us for Stanford."

G: Crazy.

C: Which, yeah, that's craaazy. Well, okay. "It was just before you dished us for Stanford." Does this mean like, this was during the Stanford fight, or does Dean mean like, "C: I think this is part of what prompted you to take the offer?"

G: Yeah.

C: The second one?

G: It's like, what prompted to like, have the fight.

C: So it was during the fight, and not like, during Sam's acceptance of the offer, you think?

G: No, I mean like, this is what prompted the fight.

C: Right, okay. So Sam said, "I'm going to Stanford." John said, "No, you can't." and then they had the fight was the timeline.

G: I feel like if it was like, during the fight itself or even close to that fight in that way, Dean would say like, "That's what Dad said when you went to Stanford" or whatever.

C: "Right before you ditched us for Stanford" is like, that's not very- like, that's a thesaurus.com rendition of what you just said.

G: I don't think so. [C: Okay.] I think this means like, a couple of weeks before, or like, a couple of months before.

C: "Just before" is pretty close. Yeah.

G: Yes.

C: Also, okay, I guess quick note that it's still insane that Dean says "ditched us for Stanford" [laughs] when John was literally the one who said, "If you leave, you can never, ever come back." [laughs] [G: Yeah.] Like, wow, Dean is still a shithead about this. Good to know.

G: 'Cause the speech is, "If you're going to be a real hunter, you need to get rid of everything else in your life, and the only real person in your life you can count on is your family." I feel like that's not really in direct with the Stanford. Because if the argument is, "You cannot have a life outside of hunting if you're gonna be a hunter," that's not really something you say to someone who's going, "I think I'm gonna leave hunting."

C: No, I mean, maybe it was just like, "I think that I want to go to Stanford. But that doesn't mean I'm like, leaving you guys." And it's like, "No, it's all or nothing."

G: I just do not see it as like, a direct like, thing with the fight. Like, this is more of like, John says this, and then Sam is in like, hearing this, brewing, brewing, brewing, and then being like, "Actually, I don't agree."

C: I think that makes sense as an interpretation. Yeah, so then Dean says, "You hated dad for saying that stuff. And now you're quoting him?" And Sam says, "Yeah, well, turns out, Dad was right." Dean asks, "Since when?" and Sam says, "Since always. Dean, when I look at Adam, you know what I see?" Dean says, "A normal kid," and Sam says, "No. Meat. Because to the demons and monsters out there, that's all he is. I hated Dad for a long time, I did, but now I think I understand. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same."

G: This is what I mean. When like, the conversation starts being about like, what one deserves. [laughs] What a crazy way to look at any of this as like, something that is deserved or whatever.

C: Yeah, Sam also says, "He deserves to know." when he starts telling Adam about hunting. [G: Yeah.] I feel like think that felt like a "As a member of our family, he should have like, truthfulness from us."

G: Yeah, no, because the argument is like, "Cut off all of your family- Cut off all of your friends and everyone you love, etc." And like, Sam, is conflating that with being given the ways and the knowledge [both] to protect yourself.

C: Oh, Sam.

G: I think that does speak to something that, like, Sam thinks protecting yourself includes protecting yourself from all the emotional harm that being attached to other people who may die or be hurt can cause you.

C: Yeah, I mean, we do see that progression in, like, the women he sleeps with. [G: Yeah.] Sarah like, he goes back and kisses her. He stays for a bit. Madison, he has to kill. And then with Cara, like, Dean's like, "You gonna stop by and say goodbye?" and Sam’s like, “What's the point? No.”

G: It is like, for me, I look at this, and I think, "Sam does solemnly think that he's doing these people a favor." Like, "I am not like, involving myself with you, or if I'm involved with you already, I'm cutting you off to make you safe." But like, I don't know, he fails to see that a lot of it is like, himself. Like, a lot of it is like, a self-preservation thing for himself.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, the Sam saying like, "Meat. Because that's how the demons and monsters out there see him." is like, another like, sneaky little "'Cause Sam's turning into a monster, so he has that POV now!" thing, which goes with what you were saying about, like, their point with the ghouls, and "You are what you eat," etc.

C: I think it's the- He says, "But now I think I understand." So when was the turning point? Because the way that's phrased is kind of like, "On this case, I grew to understand," which is interesting. 'Cause I feel like he was already sort of on the "John was right" train in Season 2, but then, like, he says "now." And I guess that's just like- 'cause again, as we said, this is the first time he's been in like, a position of like, older brother-esque, and I feel like he's taking on a bit of a paternal role with Adam. So now he's like, "Now that I'm in that kind of a role," regarding Adam, it's like, "what John did as a father, I think, is, in fact, what I would do as a father." which is certainly a thing to realize about yourself and then not even feel conflicted over because you're having a real fucked-in-the-head season.

G: I think part of what Sam is trying to say here is that like, "Dad taught us to protect ourselves," and for Adam, that extends to "If Dad taught Adam how to protect himself, he would have also been able to protect his mom." [C: Hm. Yeah.] And then he didn't, and so his mom's dead now. And that's like, a result of John hiding shit from him.

C: Adam was literally away at college. Yeah, but I guess it's like, "He wouldn't even have gone to college if Dad taught him to protect himself!"

G: Yeah. And it's just, I don't know. That's a really sad perspective to have. Because it's like, yeah, like, protecting yourself and being a hunter means protecting the people around you, but also it means that you should never like, love the people around you much, just in case they disappear. Just in case like, your love is what causes them to die?

C: Yeah. Dean says, "Listen to yourself, man," and Sam says, "You think I'm wrong?" Dean says, "I think it's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are, okay? And it's fine. I accept that. But with Adam, he's still got a chance. He can go to school. He could be a doctor!" And Sam goes, "What makes Adam so special?" And Dean goes, "Are you jealous of the kid?" And Sam goes, "Are you?" I mean, the answer to both of those are "yes," [laughs] I believe.

G: Yes and yes.

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, the thing that really got to me here is that, like, "It's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are." And especially in an episode where Dean is so portrayed as like, the angry man in the trio, right? The thing with Dean is so many of the things that he does, like being angry, always, you know- just all of the shit. He just always thinks like, "Well, that's just how it is, because it's too late to change now. Like, this is just who I am now, and I cannot improve or whatever, because it's just how it is." The way that he says it is like, "I accept that." And he frames it as kind of like, a positive thing, almost, the acceptance, and not a sign of defeat. He won't fight back against having like, an existence that is unsatisfying for him anymore because he has accepted it and thinks of the acceptance is a good thing. He literally heard, like, I don't know, "Desire is the last illusion. Give it up, and you will be free," and he was like, "That's true!" [C laughs] and then just did not interface with in any way [laughs], like, meaningful.

C: Good for him. Sam says, "Dean. All of this? It's not real." Succession-core. The Dad Adam knew? He wasn't real. The things out there in the shadows? They are real. The world is coming to an end. That's real. Everything else is just part of the crap people tell themselves to get through the day. Man, Sam is going through it!

G: This is the kind of shit you start thinking when you're really, really depressed, you know? [C: Yeah.] That like, nothing else is real aside from the miseries of the world.

C: Yeah. Friends aren't real, love isn't real, only family is real, and family is obligation and hiding and yelling at each other.

G: The thing is like, "The Dad Adam knew, he wasn't real." And it's like, he was real to Adam. Like, that was really John who was really talking to Adam.

C: Yeah, he was there. He said all those things.

G: He said all those things. And it's like, I mean, why? It's because he was hiding an aspect of his life from Adam? John was also hiding Adam from you. That's also an aspect of his life. Was he not real because he was hiding that part to you? "The things out there in the shadows, they are real." It's true. "The world is coming to an end, that's real." Also true. But like, Sam’s perspective of "And those are the only things that are real in the world ever, ever, ever," it's just like-

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, the thing is, I suppose, if you live your life, every single day, thinking of fighting what's out there in the shadows, or like, you, for the last few months of your life, or maybe a year, even, you you just wake up and go, "Yeah, the Apocalypse is coming, and if I don't stop it, it's over. The world is gonna end." Like, of course that's the only thing that's gonna be on your mind.

C: Yeah. And you're gonna see everyone else as mindless sheeple who don't know [laughs] the truth or whatever.

G: Yeah, but also, let's say this is all true. Adam's not gonna change that. [C: Yeah.] Like, okay, maybe Adam does become a hunter and then hunts, and it's like, changes like- I don't know. Hunts a few stuff and saves a few lives. Okay, great. The world is still coming to an end. Like, just let the kid live! I don't know. Like- [laughs]

C: Yeah, but Sam wants to- I think Sam just wants to pull someone else into the misery-

G: Of course. Of course.

C: - and, like, Adam, being John's son is like, an excuse to do so 'cause he probably couldn't justify doing that to anyone else. [G: Yeah.] But it's like, "We're all part of the same sick club. Well, get in." But also, he does find joy in like, having Adam be enthusiastic about the cases, and like, teaching him how to use a gun and stuff. It's not all like, bullshit. But it is just like, "The only people that it's safe to like, have an emotional connection to is your family," 'cause like, that's already like, built in, or something. So like, you're allowed to have fun with your family and be friends with like, people in your family, but like, with no one else, I guess, is the point of that.

G: Yeah. I think a part of it is the voluntary versus obligatory. [C: Mm-hm.] Well, if your family member dies, like, no matter how much you don't like them, you're still going to feel some semblance of a complicated emotion, you know. Like, there's still going to be something there, just by virtue of "This is a person who is tied to me in a way that I cannot untie." With friendship, it's a different thing. And so with- I think there is more- it's easier, almost. You like, allow yourself to connect with your family, because it's like, the leap from familial connection to personal connection is shorter than no connection to personal connection, which is what friendship is. [C: Mm.] Sam is so fucking sick in the head this season.

C: Yeah. Sorry, Sam.

G: Like, Dean's next line is the one that I was like, "Oh." He says, "Dad didn't have a choice with us, okay? But with Adam, he did, and Adam doesn't have to be cursed." Horrible. [C: Mm.] Dean really thinks like, "This is the only way it could have gone."

C: Yeah. Why? 'Cause, like, Mary died, so John just needed to get revenge, and because they're all like, Mary's kids as well as John kids, they just like, had to be part of it? Is that what you mean?

G: Yeah.

C: Well, that's fucked.

G: Yeah, no. For Dean, there was no other option. Like, I think about like, how throughout the rest of this show, Dean will have moments where he goes, "Yeah, what Dad did was fucked up." Like, "That was actually pretty messed up," or "That was actually pretty horrible. That actually traumatized me." But in his head it's like, "But it's all justified." Like, "It was bad, but it wasn't like there could have been an action or an outcome that was good." You know, like, acknowledging that something is bad only goes so far. You also have to like, I don't know, I guess, for Dean, he also needs to acknowledge that there was a way to do that that wasn't bad. 'Cause that is also the kind of logic, then, that Dean applies to himself. He's always guilty that he's so angry. He's always guilty that he did this thing and that thing and whatever whatever. But he never actually does anything to change. Because he applies that logic to himself.

C: He's like, "I wish I wasn't like this, but it's just- yeah, I wish."

G: "But I am." [C: Yeah.] And it's like, but there is a version of this story where you're not the angry man in the house, you know? And he just never realizes. Never fucking realizes. [C: Yeah.] And when he does, he [laughs] dies of tetanus. [C laughs] Hell yeah!

C: Did he realize?

G: I mean, at some point, he was like, "That's not who I am." when he self-actualized as a liar. [C laughing]

C: Yeah, I mean, it's just 'cause Cas gave him a big, beautiful speech that was completely untrue. [both laugh] And then he remembered it.

G: No, I mean, also, like, the, you know, the prayer scene. I feel like that is like, a "Okay. I'm acknowledging it now."

C: I don't remember that.

G: Yeah, of course you don't, because you haven't-

C: Yeah, because I haven't seen it. A prayer to who?

G: To Cas.

C: After Cas dies?

G: No no no, the tree.

C: Oh, you mean in 15.09. Whatever.

G: He does say there that like, "I did this because it was easier." And like, I think there's still ways to go for Dean, but like, I think acknowledging that like, he didn't let Cas go because it was the only way that it could have gone. Like, Cas didn't leave because that's just what Cas does. He left specifically because Dean did something and was afraid to do the right thing. That is an acknowledgement that like, "And that would have gone differently, if I did what was harder but right." [C: Mm-hm.] And then he dies, couple episodes later. [both] Slay!

C: Yeah, Sam says, "He's a Winchester. He's already cursed."

G: Boo.

C: Oh, Sam! I'm really glad that when Sam finally parents Jack, it's- He's good at it. It's different. [G: Yeah.] I'm glad that Season 4 Sam is not where Sam ends up.

G: I mean, like, here's the- you know. "He's a Winchester. He's already cursed." And I, in my head, go, "He's not even a Winchester! [both] He's a Milligan."

C: He goes, "So, whatever's hunting Adam, I'm just gonna find it and kill it, and then it'll all be fine." And then he heads out to do just that.

-

G: And where he ends up is back to the tomb he was looking at earlier, and this time he sees this fucking tunnel that's just covered by a giant stone. And goes in there, goes into the tunnel, and ends up in this big like, cavern? Is that a term? [C: Mm-hm.] Whatever. There's just this giant like, underground room. He looks around. There's bodies, like, there's skeletons and stuff. And he sees one that like, he recognizes as Joe from the bar. He hears stuff in the tunnel, scuttling around. Oh no! Meanwhile, in the house where Sam is putting Adam up for bait, they close up every single like, panel. Every single vent. And so if the being is going to arrive, it's just gonna be there. And then suddenly, a woman is going like, "Adam! Adam!" And Adam realizes that it's his mom. So he goes to him, and Sam is pointing at Kate. And she's going like, "Look, they took me, but I got away!" blah blah blah. And eventually, as Crystal said, earlier, Adam gets the gun away from Sam.

C: Yeah, 'cause Sam's like, trying- he's aiming this shotgun at Kate. Adam taking it is like a "Don't shoot my mom" sort of situation, I think.

G: There's also like, a fun part where, like, Sam is going like, "You listen to me!" And Kate is going like, "No, you listen to me!" which is pretty fun. Adam eventually points the gun at his mom, and Sam is just going, "Shoot! Just shoot him, Adam! Just shoot him! Just shoot him!" which is very, you know.

C: He says, "Shoot it. It's not human." which is [laughs] a very Season 4 Sam thing, I think.

G: Love that. [gay voice] "That's not your mother." [both laugh] Well, it's not. It's not mother. [C: Yeah.] And Adam just looks at Sam and does a little sicko smile and goes, "I know." And then hits Sam in the head.

C: Hell yeah.

G: And, you know, Sam's collapsed on the ground. As this is happening, by the way, Dean is like, opening up this coffin, and then he sees Kate in there. And he's like, "Oh, she's dead for real, for real." And so we also know that like, that is definitely not Kate anymore, because the body is here, obviously. And at the moment Adam headbutts Sam with the shotgun- So that's not a headbutt. But whatever. He butts with a shotgun. Dean opens the like, coffin beside the Kate one, and Adams in there!

C: Hell yeah, babey!

G: It's so fun. This reveal is so fun.

C: It's really fun. I don't regret knowing the twist beforehand, because it allowed me to to giggle and cackle [G: For real.] as ghoul!Adam continued his machinations throughout the episode.

G: In your sicko voice, even.

C: Yeah, but it would also be very fun to find out here. Dean tries to escape by breaking a stained glass window in the fucking cavern whatever the fuck. Meanwhile, Sam is tied to a table-

G: Jesus style?

C: Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he's being crucified. And Kate and Adam - well, the ghouls that are taking on the forms of Kate and Adam - are nearby. Sam calls them ghouls and Kate says, "You know, I find that term racist." I, just-

G: What is this??

C: I guess- Okay, like, the origin of the ghoul is that like, it's a being from pre-islamic Arabian religion, so like, what? It's racist, 'cause she's not Arab? What? [G laughs] I'm not really sure.

G: What even is- Also, like, they make a point of being like, "their dad," and that they're like, brother and sister, right? And so they do have conceptions of gender.

C: Yes.

G: How does that work if the person they last ate is like, the person they become? [C: I mean-] Can you only just-

C: I think they could eat whatever, but they do gender-affirming eating. [G laughs]

G: Hell yeah!

C: Hell yeah.

G: Well, one day a ghoul will eat me and have like, a transgender revelation. [C: Hell yeah.] And it'll be the most important thing to happen in their ghoulish life.

C: She's being creepy and being like, "Oh, wow, I want to eat you so bad." She mentions that she's really excited about the prospect of eating fresh meat instead of what they're used to, which means that, like, dead bodies aren't like, a ghoul's like, natural diet? It's just like, what they settle for?

G: Yeah, I don't know. Pretty benevolent of them to graverob that kid.

C: Yeah, their dad was being really nice! Like, that was really nice of their dad. [G: Yeah.] So Sam's like, "I'm trying to provoke them" or just being a dick in general, where he goes like, "Ghouls don't usually go after the living. You're just filthy scavengers feeding off the dead, taking the form of the last corpse you choke down," which is like, part of that is just like, exposition, but he is doing it in like a "You suck" way. That's just- "It's bad to eat dead things. It makes you a filthy scavenger." Okay, like, are you eating like, your burgers when the cows are alive, Sam? Like, what is this? [both laugh]

G: Sam is like- Dean is in a restaurant being like, "I want the-"

C: Bacon cheeseburger, yeah.

G: "I want the steak like, medium rare, or whatever." [laughs] Sam's like, "Just get the cow in here. I'll just bite the cow." [both laugh]

C:  And Adam reveals that ghouls also get the thoughts and memories of the last person that they eat. "We are what we eat."

G: Pretty fun!

C: And Sam says, "You're monsters." And throughout this, like, he's being like, cut up with knives and like, they're like, sucking on his blood and shit, and he's losing blood fast, and it's like, "Ouch! Owie! Ow!" Yeah, Adam says, like, "You know, you use that word a lot, Sam, but I don't think you know what it means." And then Kate mentions that Sam's blood tastes different, so yeah, it is sort of like a "Well, you're calling us monsters, but you've changed from human biology, also, due to the actions that you're doing that are evil this season."

G: It is so fascinating how that works. Is it only demon blood that, like, changes the taste of your blood from human to something else?

C: I don't- 'cause like, what does demon blood tastes like?

G: 'Cause I eat- like, if you eat animal blood, which I do, like, does that change- like, if a ghoul eats me- again, the transgender ghoul eats me [C: Yeah.], like, what's the situation? Are they gonna be like, "Oh, this one just had like, a betamax. What's that about?" [C laughs]

C: We can call a ghoul over after you eat certain things and have them test it out.

G: [laughs] Exactly. I hope the transgender ghoul thinks I'm tasty! [C laughs]

C: The Adam goes, "Our father was a monster. Why? Because of what he ate? He never hurt anyone, Sam. Living, anyway." And like, he's literally right. Like, correct.

G: [laughing] It's all correct, but because they're delivering this in their sicko voice-

C: [overlapping] - they're doing it between sucks of Sam's blood [G laughs], it's like-

G: We're supposed to be like, "And they're so wrong!"

C: It's like, obviously, like, the body is important to many religions and it's not great that that happened to the bodies, but like, [G: Yes.] if you need to eat like, people to survive, like, okay! [G: Yeah.] It really does not warrant a hunt. Kate says, "No, he was no monster. But the thing that killed him was. A monster named John Winchester." So fucking true!

G: Whoo! And, I mean, to add to the ghoul stuff, it's like, isn't the thesis of hunting, like, "saving people, hunting things"? And so like, who the fuck are you saving with like, a ghoul situation? I don't know. Maybe it's like a saving from like, you know, Heavenly blah blah blah. You know, it is quite confusing to me the way, like, hunters are portrayed as nonbelievers of religion when all your equipment is religion- a lot of their equipment is religion-based. But slay. [C: Yeah.] Is it just like, a- what's that thing called? When it's like, it's not the actual- is it a placebo effect [C laughs] when you throw holy water at a demon, it's like, "Ah! Yowchie! Ouch!" and it's just because they think it's holy water, and that's why it's happening?

C: Maybe so.

G: Maybe so.

C: And then. It is also fun that, like, John is like, the monster, you know? Wasn't it like, fucking Jo who was like- her dad used to tell her stories about like, monsters when she was a kid? Like, about the stuff he hunted?

C: I think Mary also received that kind of upbringing.

G: Oh, I think that was Mary, actually. Yeah, you're right. That was Mary, not Jo. And like, I think it is absolutely fascinating to have like, a monster doing like, a "Oh, here's a bedtime story." And it's like, [hushed] "There's this man named John Winchester." [C laughing]

C: "And he's a dick!"

G: "He's a fucking asshole."

C: So more ghoul backstory is that Kate and Adam are brother and sister and grew up orphaned, but had each other. Adam says, "Like you and your brother. Inseparable."

G: There's also like, a very fun bit where Sam has like, wounds, but on his side, a la Jesus! Like, they're really Jesus-ing him on this one. And Adam just digs into it. [biting sound]

C: Nom-nom-nom. Kate says, "It was very hard to get you on your own." Wouldn't they just want to torture both of them? Like, why just Sam?

G: I don't know.

C: Confusing.

G: Sam's their fave.

C: Yeah, they say that for 20 years, their lives sucked ass, and they just ate stinking flesh from a graveyard. But then they decided to move up to alive people, specifically for revenge. This ghoul is sexist.

G: Yeah!

C: 'Cause  Kate calls real Kate "John's slut." Okay. And she doesn't even call Adam his bastard. She says "it was John's cop friend, and then his slut, and then his son." Obviously, if this was like, an equal opportunity, just use whatever insult you could, [G laughs] like, "And then his bastard"! Like, that literally is his bastard son! But no. She just hates women! Right, and then they found out that John was dead, so Sam and Dean are gonna be the substitutes. They're gonna feed it on Sam, nice and slow, like they did with Adam. "Oh, by the way, he really was your brother. You should know that. He was still alive when we took our first bites, and he was a screamer." Hell yeah. And this whole time, there are a bunch of shots of like, these bowls under Sam's arms, because, like, every time he's like, flexing to try to get out of the ropes, like, more blood gushes out into the bowls. [G: Yeah.] And for some reason, I thought he was gonna do some kind of cool demon blood trick. Like, that he was like, making the blood out of his arms on purpose. But no, that's just the blood going out of his arms, due to his grievous injuries. RIP.

G: Also, what is the situation of like, drinking your own blood if you have demon blood?

C: Probably nothing. 'Cause it's like, he's increasing like, the concentration of demon in his blood when he drinks pure demon blood. If he's drinking his own blood, that doesn't mean anything.

G: But, like, does the concentration decrease?

C: No, I think it's just the same because, like, you already have demony blood.

G: But- [laughs] How do I put this? Like, do you- you never- [laughs] like, how does that work? 'Cause it's not like there's like, an unlimited vat of blood. It's like, something's gotta be replacing something, you know? [C: Right.] So is the demon blood just so much more powerful than the human blood?

C: Oh, yeah, is Sam just like, pissing out human blood every time after he drinks Ruby's blood? [G laughs] Are his veins bulging with all the extra blood that goes directly in there?

G: I know. What is it? I mean, your marrow does produce blood cells.

C: Well, maybe it's just that [laughs] Sam loses enough blood on hunts that like, it balances out. It wouldn't work for other people. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. He loses blood, and then -

C: He gets his demon blood transfusion.

G: - his body produces more blood cells, and that's human blood. Yeah. And so he needs to get demon blood to get the levels back in order.

C: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Dean comes in with a gun, and he gets Adam in the shoulder. And Sam yells, "Dean! They're ghouls!"

G: "It's a ghoul!" Yeah.

C: So Dean kills Kate properly by doing a head shot, which is apparently how you get ghouls. There's a bit of a fight between Adam and Dean, and then-

G: He gets Adam.

C: Yeah, and then he gets Adam, and then he beats his head in.

G: Shoots him.

C: He shoots him, and then he beats his head in, just over and over again, for very long amount of time.

G: There were times in the past where Dean was very gung-ho about killing monsters.

C: Over-aggressive with the final kill.

G: Like, with-

C: Tammy in 3.09?

G: There was also the- "Malleus Maleficarum." Stabbing the witch, right? Or was that a demon? Stabbing a demon over and over again. And then also, like. I think, maybe the one where he cuts the vampire's head off with a saw. He saws the head off that one vampire, yeah. And it's like, a lot of those times, it's like, 'cause there was a threat to Sam, right? And then we are able to justify this like, "Because this is someone who was threatening Sam, and so he was like, real pissed about it," etc. But here, it's like, yeah, they are threatening Sam, and they are tying Sam down with rope and duct tape and making him bleed all over the bowls. But like, also, like, Dean doesn't GAF about that. [C: Yeah.] Sam has to be like, [pained] "Dean! I'm bleeding out." for Dean to even come to his rescue. And it's just a bit odd. Like, is he mad at Adam? Is he mad at this ghoul for killing Adam? What's the situation?

C: I don't think it's that. I think it's what he said earlier, which is like, "Any like, creature that's using Dad's name to try to get to us better fucking watch out," or whatever he said earlier. I think it's just that.

G: Damn. So he just DGAF about Adam at all.

C: I mean, I don't think. Not that much.

After Dean has his fun little killfest on the ghoul!Adam body, Sam is still like tied and bleeding out so so much into the bowls. And he calls for Dean, and Dean sort of snaps out of it and helps Sam get up and give some towels for his arms. Sam says, "Thank you," and Dean says, "That's what family's for, right?" And then "Keep pressure on that" and runs off, even though, like, both of Sam's arms are bleeding! Like, in order for him to keep pressure on one of them, [both laughing] he has to [overlapping] neglect the other fucking arm! What the fuck?

G: [laughing] He just presses them together.

C: Yeah, like Wonder Woman or whatever.

G: You know that pose you do where you're cupping your face to do like, a flower pose or whatever?

C: [laughing] Oh yeah, that's what Sam's doing.

G: Like, your face is a flower? [laughing] That's what Sam's doing.

C: Yeah. Again, he would eat on Instagram.

G: He literally would.

-

G: We go now to like, Sam and Dean. They're in the woods, and they have built a pyre for Adam. Did they even take Kate's body out?

C: No, they were like, "Who give a fuck." I mean, I think, inside, Dean is still mourning that John and Mary, husband and wife was not the sacred forever bond that he thought it was.

G: Adam's body is there, and they're, you know, gonna burn the shit up. And Dean is saying, like, "You know. the ghoul didn't fake anything. Like, those pictures were real. Dad's journal was real. And Adam was our brother. He died like a hunter? He deserved to go out like one."

C: Yeah, by being killed by ghouls. Like, all the people in the newspapers that start your hunts are also killed by ghouls and such, and you don't do this for them.

G: [laughing] Kate literally also died like a hunter.

C: Not that like, burning a body is that like, nice, or whatever, but I guess it matters to them. Kate also died like a hunter. [G laughs] They died in the exact same way. But, you know,  she was only John's slut, whereas Adam is John's son. God.

G: And Sam says, "Maybe we can bring him back. [C laughing] Get a hold of Cas, call in a favor."

C: [laughing] He's so funny! [G laughs] He's soo funny. What has Dean been telling him about Cas [G laughing] that Sam thinks that Cas would even consider doing that, honestly? That's what I want to know.

G: [laughing] The fact that the last time, Cas said-

C: The last time Sam talked to Cas was in 4.16, and he said, "Dean was punched a few times. Can you heal him?" and Cas said, "No." [laughing] But Sam's like, "No, but he'll bring Adam back from the dead for us. That's no biggie."

G: [laughing] Sam is so funny. Also, like, he must be aware that Heaven is trying to like, get them to do things and stuff. And like, calling in a favor is number one way to get Heaven to be like, "But we did this for you, and now you do this for us." And he was like, "IDGAF. I want the little brother in the backseat, bro." [C laughs] He's so funny. Dean says, "Adam is in a better place," which is so fucking funny. Adam is not-

C: Bro, you just went through 4.15.

G: Yeah. And then they burn that fucking body. And they have this final conversation, which means something, and also everything, and also nothing. But no, it does mean something to me. Dean says, "You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person." And then he goes, "You know I worshiped the guy. I dressed like him. Acted like him. I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. I see that now." And Sam says, "I'll take that as a compliment." And Dean goes, "You take it any way you want."

C: And it ends on Dean's face in the fire. Boo! Boo!

G: Yeah! Like, this is a Sam-

C: This is a Sam!

G: I think this is a Sam- yeah.

G: yeah, like, this is. So

C: I feel like this is a zoom app.

C: That's why he was there during the whole ghoul talk and the fucking torture, while Dean just had brief little shots of like, kicking stained glass. Like, boo!

G: Sam supposedly had the journey of learning that John can be considered the monster in some circles, but only supposedly, [C laughs] because they don't interface with it that way. But like, you know, like, being told by someone that like, "Your dad killed an innocent guy, just for being himself."

C: [laughs] Just for having a fun, cool time!

G: Yeah. [laughs] Just by goofing around.

C: Having a laff, really. [G laughs]

G: And being like, "And he is a monster to us." And then learning what- you know. Like, he also thinks that John was an irresponsible father to Adam! And now Dean is here, being like, "You're just like him. The man that you've hated your whole life, and now, you're trying to reason out, is actually a good father. Because he failed to be a good father, through your definition, to someone else. I'm saying that you're like him." And like, we don't even get like, a good Sam reaction face. Like, what?

C: Yeah. Who give a fuck about how Dean feels about this? Like, this is about-

G: I do give a fuck.

C: I don't. [laughs] But yeah.

G: I did tear up a little bit. I think there is something to be said about how Sam is the one that is purportedly like John but hates him, and Dean is the one who wants to be like him but could never. I don't agree with those character assessments.

C: Yeah, plus John is not hated by Sam, currently.

G: Again, I don't agree with those character assessments, but I agree that Sam and Dean would think this, you know. Like, I agree that they would assess their character in this way, and that is what's interesting to me, that Dean wants to be like John. 'Cause the John in his head is like, this cool hero who always saves the day, always knows what to do, always knows- you know, all that crap. And yet the only part of John that he can successfully emulate is-

C: The aesthetic.

G: - being angry and being spiteful. I mean, every single influence in your life, you know, parents, older siblings, whatever. There will always be aspects of them that we think, "That is something I want to incorporate in my life," and then there would be aspects that are like, "And that is so horrible. I never wish to be like that." And, you know, it must be miserable to have someone that you have forced yourself to look up to your entire life, and the only parts that are present in you of them is the negative parts, the parts that you have to suppress and you have to like, convince yourself is actually not that bad. Horrible!

C: Yeah. But I don't think we see that from Dean this episode.

G: Well, I see it. [laughs]

C: He yells, like, a few times, but they never really go, "And that's like John," like, at all.

G: Yeah. But, you know. I'm talking more just of-

C: Yeah, about Dean in the future. But not Dean in this episode.

G: The all-encompassing everything.

C: Yeah.

-

G: Yeah. Well, what did we think about this episode? I thought it was pretty fun.

C: Yeah. I enjoyed it. This was good.

G: This is another one of those episodes where I go, like, "We must be halfway through." And then I check, and it's like, "We're about to be done." 'Cause it's like, the story is a lot more room to breathe, etc because it's less fluff. Whatever. Whatever! So yeah, Best Line/Worst Line. I think my best line is, as I've said, like, Dean's, "It's too late for us, and Dad didn't have a chance with us." Because, like, those are the ones that made me think a lot.

C: Makes sense. Ah, I don't know. I think I liked when the ghoul called John Winchester a monster. That was pretty slay.

G: I don't know about like, my worst line, although I really did not like the way Lisa, the wife of Joe, talked. I was like, "This is such a weird scene." [C: Yeah.] The emotional whatever whatever is not correct.

C: I found, you know, "I find that term racist" for like, when Sam calls them ghouls, that was pretty annoying.

G: "Well, I find that comment racist" is what I would say to that ghoul.

C: Spreadsheet.

G: Spread those sheets! So I would say for misogyny, 1?

C: There's a teeny bit with the slut comment. Yeah, that's like, a 1.

G: Racism. 0? 1.

C: For the "that's racist" line? I mean, I feel like I'm just saying slut counts as a misogyny, the, yeah.

G: Yeah, okay, let's do 1.

C: The ones are just like, "There was a moment that we went, 'Ugh!'"

G: Homophobia.

C: I don't think there was homophobia. Do you remember homophobia?

G: No. They did kill Adam, though, [C laughs] and Adam does become like, one body gay person.

C: That's true. Happy for him.

G: What a slay. What a slay way to end his story. Like, good for him.

C: Yeah. Alright, IMDb.

G: I would say this one is definitely less higher than the past couple episodes, but, in my heart, it's good. So 8 point... 8.5.

C: Okay, I was gonna go higher than that. Like, I was thinking an 8.8. Ugh, I don't like going more than 0.1 off from you, but-

G: Yeah. Well, take a chance.

C: Yeah, I'll take a chance. Let's see.

G: Okay, well, [typing] IMDb, "Jump the Shark," which is still the funniest fucking title. It's an 8.2!

C: Ouch. People hate this thing.

G: Hell yeah! You really did take the jump.

C: I jumped that shark.

G: I mean, okay, I understand, 'cause it's like, half-brother shit.

C: Were they like, "It's dumb that they're bringing in a new brother." [G laughs] They did do that in Sherlock.

G: But it's fun when they do it here! This one says, "I simply ADORE the subversion of monster and family with the ghouls here. This blurring of the line between the two categories not only works for Sam's arch but sets up the 6th season more than people realize. The film's humanistic viewpoint comes through strongest when it blurs types like this." My issue with this statement is, what do you mean by like, strongest? If you mean, like, strongest as in like, it's very present, it's like, okay, I understand. [C laughs] If it's strongest as in it's good, I'm like, "I don't think that's true!" But okay. This one is like, "I thought this was pointless back in the day, but now it's fine."

C: Cool.

G: "Ironic title. I know it was picked to prevent the backlash this episode might have had. But it's by far the less jump the shark moment, the show's ever had. It was logical to the loner hunter's life habits, and a nice way to keep viewers guessing. [C: Yeah.] The ending twist, was a nice touch and I knew something like that might happen. From my previous watch. But I didn't remember if it [C: Just like you for real.] was so early on the series." So like me. It is one of the better episodes, is the thing. [laughing] Just because Supernatural has so many bad episodes.

C: Yeah. I mean, multiple people are mentioning that the monsters are sympathetic here.

G: Yeah.

C: I think maybe- was that on purpose? Was Supernatural supposed to like, make us go like, "Yeah, they do have a point"?

G: The thing is, they do have a point, [C: Yeah.] and I feel like anybody watching the show will be like, "They do have a point."

C: Do the writers know that they have a point?

G: I mean, maybe they do. It's just that it's never a point that it's explored or followed through.

C: It's just like, "Huh. Interesting idea. Let's go back to killing indiscriminately."

G: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

G: Well, that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 20! I forgot the title.

C: "The Rapture."

G: "The Rapture"! Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]